Chapter 28
Viviane’s POV
“You mean it’s going to be like this until we…?” I can’t bring myself to say the word.
“Yes.” He states simply.
My nose crinkles as I try to process this information. I have no idea how much time I’m going to need before I feel ready to make love to Caspian, but since he can’t even touch me without me freezing up, I’m not optimistic. “So you’re going to lose control every time…?
“Not necessarily.” Caspian sighs, moving us onto the couch. “It might get easier with more time together.”
“But couldn’t it also get more difficult?” I ask. “I mean, the longer you deny yourself…”
“That’s my problem, not yours, little mate.” He promises.
Despite his words, I can’t help but feel guilty. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
A deep laugh vibrates in Caspian’s chest, and he nuzzles my neck. “You can try to stop being so beautiful,” He suggests playfully, “or smelling so good.”
“Well I know one way to fix that.” I quip, hopping up and moving towards my bag. I dig inside for my bottle of pheromone spray, the perfume which Caspian scrubs from my skin every time we’re alone together in a safe location.
Before I can apply the spray, Caspian has crossed the room and swiped the bottle from my hands. “Uh-uh, not here.” He chides, looping an arm around my middle and ducking his head to nip the tender skin where my neck meets my shoulders. “Naughty kitten.”
I giggle, feeling wonderfully light despite the incident mere moments ago. “Seriously Caspian, there must be something I can do to make this easier.”
Grumbling good-naturedly, he returns the perfume to my bag and leads me back to the couch. “You did the right thing today. You told me what you were feeling, and you let me walk away without interfering.” I can hear the but coming long before it’s out of his mouth. “But if something like last week happens, if I tell you to leave, I need you to obey– no matter what.”
“What if I can’t?” I wonder aloud, thinking about my own raging hormones and how far they pushed me that horrible day.
"I know it isn’t easy for you either.” Caspian acknowledges tenderly. “I’ll yell if I have to, I’ll do whatever it takes to get you out safely. Just know that however angry I might seem in the moment, I promise I’m not. It’s just the heat talking.”
I nod, but I still feel uncertain, “I don’t know how long it’s going to take… I may not be ready for a long time.” I whisper to my lap.
Caspian catches my chin between his thumb and forefinger, drawing my eyes up to his. “Listen to me very carefully, Viviane.” He instructs, “I don’t care if it takes weeks, or months, or years. You’re my mate and even if you weren’t, you are worth waiting for.”
Caspian’s POV
The night of the ball begins horribly.
Thank the Gods it’s nothing to do with Viviane. It is, however, to do with James.
Over the last few days I’ve sought out my father a number of times to discuss James’ actions during the Games, but every time I’ve asked for a meeting, I’ve been told the Alpha is too busy. The same thought plagued my mind with every rejection: Regardless of this issue, how does he ever expect me to learn to lead if he never has time to teach me?
I don’t have an answer. I might have asked my father this very question when he turned up tonight – if he hadn’t been more concerned with James. When the knock sounded on my door, I expected Chase or one of the sentries, instead I opened the door to find my own reflection aged by thirty years.
I was in the middle of dressing for the ball, my bulky arms straining against the tight sleeves of my button down. Dad took one look at the garment and remarked, “You put on muscle during the games; we should’ve had your suit let out.”
“Oh well,” I shrugged, buttoning my cuffs. “It’s too late now.” He nodded in assent, following me inside when I turned back toward the suit jacket laid out on my bed. “To what do I owe this honor?”
“I wanted to ask you about your uncle,” He broached, sounding far too neutral. “No one has seen him since the Games.”
I couldn’t hold back my scornful reply. “I would have discussed this with you sooner if you’d made the time.”
He ignored my disrespectful tone. “I’m making the time now.”
I studied him in the mirror, pulling on my jacket and ignoring the overworked seams. “We had words. He made a run for it.”
Dad tilted his head speculatively. “What do you mean, you had words.”
“He kidnapped Viviane.” I reminded him, gruff and apologetic. “He deserved far worse than the beating he got.” I pressed on, turning to face the Alpha. “He tried to blackmail me into throwing the games, he formed an illegal alliance with the other competitors.”
Whatever I’d expected, it wasn’t my father’s reply. “You need to get used to it.”
“Excuse me?” I’d hissed.
“This is what ruling is.” He declared. “You will always have a target on your back. James has spent his entire life in your shadow: he’s jealous, but that’s his problem.” I couldn’t believe my ears. “You have to rise above. Don’t complain about alliances, defeat them.”
“I did.” I countered fiercely, trying to understand how this man could possibly think my uncle had drawn the short straw in our childhoods.
“Yes, you did. You made me proud.” Dad praised without emotion. “So now it’s time to move on, let him come back.”
“And Viviane?” I demanded.
“It’s unfortunate he involved her.” He conceded. “I’ll talk to him. But women will come and go, you two are blood, that’s forever.”
“Viviane is forever.” I announced without fanfare. “She’s not just my mate for the season. She’s my mate for life.”
Dad didn’t even blink. “If that’s true then you need to mark her, sooner rather than later.”
“I’m working on it.” I scowled.
He paused at the door, glancing over his shoulder. “You understand now.” He assessed, a flicker of regret in his icy gaze. “Your mother and I?”
“I understand you.” I allowed, untensing slightly. “I’ll never understand her.”
Even now, as I wait for Viviane to arrive with baited breath, my mind lingers on our conversation. Was my father really so blind to my mother’s faults?
It’s true I’ve always been bigger and stronger than James, and I will inherit the Alpha role assuming no new disasters strike, but when it came to the things that really mattered, I had nothing. James got all the love, affection and attention. He was spoiled and praised, while I was neglected and abused. Only someone suffering clinical insanity would be jealous of that.
At the same time, I see the truth in my father’s words about hardening myself to these kinds of threats, but I will never harden myself to the idea of someone using Viviane against me. I didn’t take Marina’s words lightly, there was truth in them too. I can’t allow her proximity to me to put her in harm’s way. At the same time, the only way I know how to protect her is by keeping her close.
I see her then, poised at the top of the grand staircase and looking every bit the mythical creature she is. Draped in a gown of glittering silver, with her color streaked blond hair piled atop her head and her incredible turquoise eyes on full display, I realize I’m going to have to keep her even closer than I thought. It seems every man in the room is watching as she descends the stairs with ethereal grace, their dates looking on with envy and annoyance.
Without a single word, my mate has already upstaged every other woman in the room – a true Luna in the making. I can feel Viviane’s nerves through our bond, but she doesn’t show even one ounce of them. I send her a wave of adoration, You could have warned me. I purr through our link, If I’d known you were going to make my heart stop, I would have had a few doctors on standby.
Her smile lights up the entire room, sending a wave of appreciative murmurs through the crowd. As I move through the throngs of people, they gradually part, forging a clear path directly to the stairs with due respect. One by one I see their faces register my silent claim, a fresh wave of curious energy pulsing through the mass of shifters.
I’m waiting for her when Viviane finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, and for all my promises to Marina, I can’t resist. Without a second thought, I close my hand around my mate’s nape and crush my lips to hers. My wolf howls with joy as she sighs and leans into my touch. We may not be able to mark her in the way we wish yet, but it’s now clear for all to see: Viviane Belle is mine.
