Chapter 72
The distance between Nicholas and I grew with every passing day, but I didn’t understand why. I could see the frustration in Nicholas's eyes, and it weighed heavily on my heart, and even though I asked him time and again what I could do, he just pushed me further away.
I thought that it was to do with the fact that I was continuing the magic lessons, but one evening, I overheard a conversation between him and his brothers.
Cheney and Brian had cornered Nicholas, their voices determined yet gentle. Cheney spoke up, "Nicholas, we can all see that this situation is tearing you apart."
Brian added, "But Beryl's never wavered in her love for us. We need to trust her."
Nicholas's shoulders slumped, and he let out a heavy sigh. "I know, but it's hard. I feel like I'm losing her."
Cheney placed a reassuring hand on Nicholas's shoulder. "You're not losing her, brother. We're just facing a challenge together. We should talk to her, communicate our feelings."
It seemed like he had taken their words to heart, so I waited for him to approach me about his feelings. I waited and waited, but he never came.
I grew more and more frustrated and upset with the distance between us. Brian and Cheney tried to comfort me through it, but it just seemed like we were all on separate pages.
“I don’t understand what’s happening. Why is he so upset with me?” I cried into Cheney’s shoulder one night, after Nicholas had failed to come home, yet again.
“I’m so sorry, my love.” Brian rubbed my shoulders, whispering lovingly in my ear, hoping to calm me down. “We’ll figure it out. You know he loves you, just like we do. He’s just going through some stuff, apparently.”
I saw them exchange a strange glace but was too distraught to question it. I eventually cried myself to sleep, and barely noticed when they both slipped from the room.
Nicholas:
I was sitting outside in the mansion’s garden, thinking about the last few days. I couldn’t be at home right and had spent the last few nights in my old room.
I hadn’t meant to keep pushing Beryl away, but my feelings for Clara had confused me and I didn’t want to be around her when I felt this way.
I kept putting off thinking about my feelings, and the tension within my home had only grown. Brian and Cheney were even questioning my choices and actions now.
Speaking of my brothers, I suddenly heard them coming up the garden walk behind me. I turned to watch them approach me.
I nodded, knowing by the looks on their faces that the upcoming conversation was going to be a hard one. “Hey.” Might as well get this over with, I thought.
“Nicholas, we need to talk.” Brian’s serious expression was even more intense than usual. “Sure, what’s up?” I was trying to be casual, hoping maybe I could postpone the inevitable.
“You know what’s up...” Cheney’s tone was angry, and I sighed, realizing playing dumb may have not been the best idea. “Our mate is crying herself to sleep every night, because she has no idea what your problem is, and honestly, we don’t either.”
“If you’re still mad about the magic shit, get over it already. She’s doing this for all of us. There’s nothing wrong with her wanting to protect the pack any way she can, and you’re a dick for letting her think that!”
His voice had risen higher and higher until he was almost shouting. I looked down at me feet, not sure how to tell him how badly he had gotten it wrong.
I felt Brian take a step forward, and then saw his feet before me. I looked up to see confusion on his face, and knew he was starting to understand, even before I said anything. “That’s not it is it? There’s something else going on...”
“What are you talking about?” Cheney moved forward to look from me to Brian and back again, confusion replacing the anger.
I leaned back, looking up to the sky, taking a deep breath. “You’re right. There is something else going on and I don’t know what to do about it.”
As I explained myself, the looks on their faces we exactly what I had expected. Cheney’s anger was back, outrage filling his face. Brian’s face softened, showing he was concerned about the situation.
“What the actual fuck Nicholas? How could you do this to Beryl? You piece of shit, what are you thinking?” Cheney was again volatile and shouting. I was grateful that most of the pack had already long been in the bed.
Brian took a deep breath, pondering his reaction and what to say to me. Finally, he spoke. “This is complicated, and you can’t help your feelings... But, Nicholas, regardless of how you feel about, this, this, I won't even say her name.”
Here he finally showed the slightest bit of anger. “Regardless of how you feel about her, you still love Beryl and she’s your mate. Our mate. Who is going to be having our child very soon.”
Cheney was pacing in front of us, refusing to look at me. “I can't believe this. I can’t believe you. This is insane.” He kept muttering to himself as he paced.
“I know how terrible this is. I know how it looks, and how awful I am for feeling this way, for even considering this as an option, but I can’t help how I feel. Plus, look what this match would do for our pack.”
Cheney growled and lunged at me, shoving me back into the bench. “What do you think this would do to Beryl?” His eyes were glowing bright and furious.
Anger flared for a moment, but the constant shame I had been feeling since meeting Clara quickly replaced it and I sagged under his weight.
Seeing the defeat in my eyes, Cheney stepped back. “See, you know this is wrong. You know this is the wrong choice. You know what you need to do, so be an alpha and do it. Stop hurting the very best thing that has ever happened to any of us.”
He and Brian looked at me for another moment, then turned and walked away out of the garden, leaving me to ponder the decisions ahead of me.
