Chapter 52

~Grace~

Everyone was looking at me.

Eyes everywhere.

Whispers filled my head, getting louder and louder.

The world was spinning.

I grabbed my head, and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get a hold of myself. Everyone was talking about me, about Alex, about the future of everything–

It was all too much.

My world was crumbling around me and all I could do was watch.

In one last attempt to try to see through this awful truth, to believe that maybe it really was a lie all along, I opened my eyes and looked back at Alex.

Pleading, hoping, praying that he would defend himself.

He stared back at me, eyes full of pain. He stayed quiet, and stiff. I’d never seen him freeze up like this.

So it had to be true.

Tears streaming down my face, I slowly turned away from him. Christopher stared at me, his eyes big and curious. It was like he was studying me.

Everyone was.

The whole world was watching to see how I’d react.

I just couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to be in the spotlight, I couldn’t think about this tragedy anymore, I just wanted to be away from it all.

Suddenly, I burst forward, gathering my skirt up in my hands, and broke out into a sprint.

Gasps and shouts called from behind me, but I tuned them out. They did not matter right now, I just wanted to get away from it all.

I ran until my feet hurt from slipping around in my heels, and I kicked them off. I was in the forest, now. I recognized the dark-leaved trees. This place had become more familiar since I was forced to live in the forest for a week.

The ground was too rough to walk barefoot, so I collapsed to the ground, my wedding dress poofing out on the ground. Dirt stained the white fabric, but I didn’t care.

Nothing mattered anymore.

The world I thought I knew had shattered.

Where would I go now?

I divorced Liam and I ran away from Alex… I didn’t want to throw myself at another man just to belong somewhere. Besides, the other packs likely wouldn't want to take me in, thinking I was just bad luck or something.

Maybe I was. Maybe all of this was just bad luck, and I was never meant to be happy. It seemed that the harder I tried to forge my own way in life, the harder it knocked me down.

I just couldn’t do it anymore.

I didn’t want to keep fighting.

Maybe I was just better off letting things happen to me, instead of forcing my own way through life.

Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be a powerful Luna and get on the Council and make progress. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a leader. Or have a happy relationship. Or a family.

I hunched forward, and a wail crept out of my throat, my throat tight. My heart hurt more than anything I’ve ever felt before. Even worse than Christopher’s stupid soul bonding spell.

Why? Why did things have to turn out this way? What was I doing wrong? Was I not good enough?

I just couldn’t understand.

Pressing my face into the dirt and leaves, I sobbed, tears mixing with dirt to stain my face, my makeup running.

I sobbed for what felt like hours.

It had gotten dark, and my head was absolutely killing me. My eyes felt swollen and puffy, and I felt numb.

I had no tears left to cry.

My head spun. It felt like it was filled with static.

It was so hard to think or feel anything.

It felt like I had drained myself of everything. Now, I was just an empty husk.

I wouldn’t fight back anymore, I’d just go with the flow. Wherever life wanted to take me, that’s what I’d do. I wouldn’t try for anything more.

My stomach growled painfully. God, I couldn’t remember when I last ate. I was supposed to eat at the wedding, but obviously that didn’t happen.

A twig snapped behind me. I stayed still, but I didn’t turn around. Maybe it was a bear or something that came here to put me out of my misery.

Whatever life wanted for me, I would take it.

I closed my eyes, hearing footsteps come closer.

“You’re in my territory, you know,” I heard a familiar voice say.

Christopher. I was too numb to care.

I stayed silent.

“You’re without a pack, now. That makes you mine,” he whispered, kneeling down next to me.

I felt him brush a finger across my cheek, wiping away the dirt-covered tears. I didn’t move. It felt better to keep my eyes shut.

“You’re a Rogue, Grace. How does it feel?” He continued, and I heard him move in front of me. He lifted up my chin, and I finally let my eyes flutter open just a sliver.

He stared at me with a tilted head, and he looked surprisingly kind.

I blinked a couple of times. My head hurt so bad, and my mouth was so dry. God, I just wanted to sleep.

“You’ve been through a lot, poor girl. How do you feel about coming back to my base?” Christopher offered, his voice gentle.

I didn’t answer; it was too hard to think. I knew I didn’t like it there last time, but what choice did I have? Where else could I go? Would I just let myself lie here all night and get eaten by a wolf or something?

Christopher sighed. “It won’t be like last time. I won’t force you. You’ll be free to come and go as you please. But I’ll give you somewhere to stay and warm food. How does that sound?”

I heard his words, but it was hard to process. Knowing Christopher, there was likely some trick to his offer. Something I’d have to give him in order to stay there.

But honestly? A comfy bed and some warm food sounded better than laying out under the trees all night.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to think well until I got some rest, anyway. I’d deal with it in the morning.

I gave him a slow nod, my throat sore from crying.

Christopher shifted.

“All right, girl. Let’s get you out of here.”

I felt Christopher put his hands underneath me, and lift me up. I let him. I didn’t have shoes anyway, and I was too tired to walk.

I must have fallen asleep in Christopher’s arms, because when I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar bed.

It was dark now, but my head felt better, at least a little bit.

I rolled over, and looked around. It seemed like I was alone. I caught a whiff of a delicious smell, and I looked around the room.

On the nightstand was a plate of steaming noodles. God, it looked so good. My stomach growled in response, and I didn’t even care to think about how it got in here, I just sat up and began eating.

After a couple of bites, I noticed I was still in my wedding dress. I guess if I got sauce on it, it didn’t really matter. It was likely all dirty from running through the forest.

I continued eating. It was seriously so good.

Maybe… it wouldn’t be so bad here, after all. Maybe Christopher had changed.