Chapter 81

Sienna’s POV

I couldn’t stop staring at the letter on the table, one that had been burning an increasingly larger hole in my heart since it arrived days ago.

It was from Alaric — I knew that much. The royal seal gave it away, and I didn’t think I could do it, even days after its appearance.

Why? Because his words would maim me. They would tear me apart, piece by piece, letter by letter, until I gave in and forgave him.

I’d been married to Prince Alaric.

Technically, I still was. Even though the contract was voided, the divorce wasn’t official yet, and it wouldn’t be for a while. I had to file for divorce through the Elder’s, go through hearings, explain why it was happening, how it didn’t work.

Oh, my fake husband lied to me about his identity for months, that’s all.

It was a better reason than what it would have been, had Asher just been…Asher. They’d be a lot more suspicious at our separation otherwise, but maybe now, with this bombshell of a reveal, they’d let it slide.

The letter was staring straight into my soul, only a few feet away, begging to be opened. It’d been on my mind since the second it came into the house.

Maybe it was the closure I needed? Proof that he’d never had real feelings for me, that it’d all been a show?

But it wasn’t just a show, my heart whispered, knowing damn well that was the truth, too. We’d both always had real feelings for one another, even if we’d masked them most of the time.

You couldn’t fake a connection like that, a bond running so deep it fluttered in the pits of our souls whenever we looked at one another.

The great sex most definitely couldn’t be faked, either. Our souls quite literally entwined themselves when we did it, our bodies becoming one in such a profound way that I knew nothing could ever replace it.

I stared at the letter for a few seconds longer before I broke. There was no way I could possibly wait any longer to see what he’d said to me.

As I ripped it open, the sounds of tearing filled the room, my fingers moving faster to grab the letter between them.

It was one single page, crammed to the edges with words in his beautiful script. My eyes held on my name, so perfectly written in his hand.

Sienna...

I wanted to read the next part, but something was stopping me. Fear, heartache, all of it. My heart whispered so desperately to give it a moment to catch up, to prepare for what he would say.

When my pulse finally slowed down, I started to read.

I don’t know if you’ll read this, but I’m going to write it anyway. It’s something I need to get off my chest, and it’s what you deserve to hear: the truth. You should have known it from the start…it’s just — it wasn’t something I could just bring up in casual conversation.

That much, I hope you’ll understand. My situation has been tough since the day I was chased away from my world, and there were very few people I could trust. Some I confided in ended up betraying me, which only made things so much harder moving forward.

I never intended to lie to you for so long. The lies just kept coming, and I thought I was protecting you from a dark truth you didn’t necessarily need to know at the time, especially after losing your parents. You didn’t need to hear more sadness, not when your own world had fallen apart so suddenly.

About your parents…I know what you’re thinking, and I hope that one day, you’ll let me explain it to you in person. It’s not something I want to put in a letter, because you and your parents deserve more than that.

Yes, I did play a part in their death, but not in the way you think — that’s all I’m going to say right now. My tragic story runs so deep, and, if you’ll listen, I’ll tell all of it to you.

I never intentionally deceived you, nor did I ever set out to hurt you. I’ve cared about you from the very start, just like I cared for your parents. They were some of the most genuine, honest people I’ve ever known, and every single day I regret what happened to them.

One day, I hope I can make it up to you. I’m sorry, Sienna.

Yours truly,

Alaric

PS. My security will always be yours. Even though you cancelled the contract, I won’t remove them.

My chest was tight. Very tight.

I’d expected closure over anything else, assuming he was done with me and my struggling life in Nightwind. The fact he was…apologizing, going as far to make it sound like he wanted me in his life still — I couldn’t fathom it.

A knock on the door ripped me straight out of the hurricane of emotions I found myself caught up in, forcing me to put on a straight face.

“It’s me,” Simon greeted as he opened the door himself, peeking his head in. “I come bearing an…interesting update.”

My eyebrows rose, the pain I’d felt only a moment before now temporarily forgotten. “Oh?”

Simon sighed, collapsing into a chair at the table, his eyes briefly looking over the scraps of the letter’s envelope scattered all across it.

“Remember I told you Julian was spotted with the rogues?”

I nodded, waiting for him to continue. Something about this didn’t feel right.

“The scouts confirmed he’s cooperating with them.”

“Cooperating how? Wouldn’t he just be bargaining for his life any way he could?” I frowned, a prickle of unease moving up my back.

“We believe he’s working with them now. Maybe they came to an agreement, maybe he is bargaining for his life. Whatever it is, it’s not good for us.”

I knew exactly what he meant. “Because he’ll target Nightwind, won’t he?”

“Out of revenge or pettiness, yes, he will. We don’t know the extent of the level he’s cooperating with them, but…it’s not good.” Simon winced, thrumming his fingers on the table.

“Should I alert the watchtowers?” Nerves poured through me, and I was so glad that Alaric hadn’t pulled his security from the pack, else I’d be in trouble.

It’s because he cares about you. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of that being true.

“All of them. They need to be on watch in the north, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the rogues came from a different direction to throw us off.”

I nodded, moving to the kitchen to send an alert to all the towers, something Alaric’s company had installed for us. Nightwind could never have afforded anything like that normally.

When I returned to the table, Simon was sitting up straighter, his eyes sympathetic. “How are you feeling about the Alpha gathering tomorrow?”

My heart constricted in my chest, the thought of it making me nauseous. Or maybe it was the baby — probably a mix of both.

“Terrified,” I whispered, my throat dry.

What could possibly go wrong?