Chapter 79

Sienna’s POV

There was definitely such a thing as too many truths at once. Sure, the truth was better than a lie — in many cases — but how much of it could one person really take at once?

I’d just had months of lies dumped on me in the span of a day, and I was drowning. Scrambling below the surface of a raging water, so close yet still so far from air.

At least Lucius knew about the baby now. He’d said he would help me, that he’d visit every day, aiding me in staying on my feet. Literally and figuratively.

He’d apologized so profusely that I couldn’t help but give him a bit of my forgiveness. More than anything, he was a pawn in Alaric’s web of lies, his strings pulled again and again to continue going along with the faux story.

I’d come to realize that there was no point in dwelling on the past, or the lies I was told. It had happened: I’d been deceived.

It wasn’t personal, even if it felt like it. Alaric wouldn’t have gone around telling everyone who he was — it was a dangerous world out there, and you never knew who you could trust.

So it made sense. But it still hurt like a thousand shards of glass buried deep into my heart.

Lucius had told me that Simon was part of Alaric’s inner circle too, never having supported lying to me either. Alaric trusted them, though, so they had to cooperate. They’d never have chosen to betray him, anyway, no matter how close I’d become with them.

There’s a soft knock at the front door, drawing me from my thoughts. I know it’s not Alaric, so I don’t get too nervous, strolling to the front of the house.

“Hi Simon,” I said quietly, holding the door open for him. “Come in.”

It was the first time I’d seen him since I stormed off from the palace, and since I’d learned the full truth.

“I really am sorry, Sienna.” His words were honest and from the soul, his regret plastered across his face.

“I understand.” I mustered up the smallest of smiles, if only to reassure him. The betrayal still stung, but he didn’t have to know that.

There was an awkward beat of silence where it seemed like he wanted to say more and chose to refrain. I shrugged it off, clearing my throat of the weirdness that still permeated the room.

“I’m not sure if you’re aware, but, last week we sent out some scouts into the north to look for any signs of those still missing.” Thank goodness he changed the subject, because I was not in the mood to hear about those lies. Or Alaric.

“It slipped my mind with everything that’s happened, but yes, okay. Any news on that?” I’d struggled to keep my mind on the things that were most important lately.

“They spotted Julian much farther north at one of the rogue camps.”

Now I was really listening.

“Alive?” I looked to Simon, a small part of me relieved when he nodded.

“Not doing very well, though, which we’d expected.”

“How far north is he?” I asked, thinking of how dangerous it was over the northern mountains. Not only were the terrains rougher, the weather was absolutely brutal, making those areas almost inhabitable.

“Almost as far as you can go without dying. The rogues are equipped for the weather out there, to a certain extent. I was much less to the north when I was taken.” I could see the fear that flared in his eyes at the thought of being a prisoner again.

I didn’t want him to have to think about that dark time, so I shifted the focus. “Is there any hope of getting them?”

“It would be one hell of a trek,” Simon admitted with a wince. “We’d likely lose people along the way.”

“It’s not our job to go get him, though,” I said the words I’d been wanting to say for a while.

“No. It’s not.” A tiny smile curved at Simon’s lips. “After all, what do we owe him?”

“Nothing,” I scoffed, not feeling an ounce of regret for what happened to Julian. Truthfully, he had it coming.

“I’ll relay the information to the palace and they can take it from there,” Simon winked, any thought of the palace and who was there souring my mood.

“Thank you.” I spoke softly, a sigh heaving from my chest. “Another problem off my plate.”

“Anything to help.” Simon nodded, politely dismissing himself, the door clicking shut after him, leaving me in silence once again.

I flipped some classical music on in the kitchen, knowing there were a mountain of letters and contracts on the desk in my parent’s office.

After a few minutes of procrastinating, I made my way into their office, smiling at the lingering scent of the two of them, forever woven into the files and books on the shelves.

The classical music drifted down the hall from the kitchen, an echo of their favorite tracks. As I looked at the pile of papers on the desk, my heart clenched, memories of my parents flashing through my mind.

I pulled open a drawer to my right, sifting through it to see if there was anything of theirs left in there, a memory I could trigger.

There were blank post it notes, a few of my mothers favorite bookmarks, and —

My fingers stopped at the back of the drawer, its floor sagging slightly. When I pressed down on it, a small compartment popped up, a single envelope inside it.

“What?” I said aloud, recognizing my mother’s handwriting on the front of the letter.

She left me a letter? My breathing started to race as I opened it, pulling out a handwritten note from her. One page I’d never read.

A gift from beyond the grave.

My dearest Sienna,

If you’re reading this, that means something happened to your father and I, and I am so, so sorry to leave you. There are so many things I wish you could have known, things we just couldn’t tell you so young. We never wanted you to have to take control of Nightwind under the age of twenty five — you deserved to live your life, experience your youth at its fullest.

But now that you are in that situation, then you must give it your all. My sweet girl, I believe in you more than I believe in anyone in the world. You are my shining star, the light of my life; it’s time for you to step up and take on the role that we trained you for, even if it is earlier than we planned.

Know that we’ve taken measures to care for you, and they will make their appearance when you need them most. Your father and I love you, darling.

Live on.

A tear fell smack in the middle of the paper, a sob building in my throat. I’d needed to hear those words right now more than I’d needed anything in my life.

My mother knew I’d find that letter when it would impact me the most, and it certainly had.

A fire had reignited in me.