Chapter 69

Siennas POV

Something about today didn’t feel right, and that was confirmed again when I came out to the dining room and found a huge breakfast waiting for me on the table.

“What is this?” I asked Asher, who sat at the end of the table, pouring orange juice from a pitcher.

“A nice breakfast for you.” He spared me a quick glance before turning his attention back to the table.

“Any reason…why?” I raised an eyebrow, slipping into the chair next to him.

“I just felt like it.”

There was definitely something wrong.

“Is something going on?” I asked, scanning the plates of food. There were scrambled eggs, buttered toast, and even a plate of pancakes.

Where is my appetite though?

Normally I’d be scarfing food like that down, but I couldn’t find a single ounce of hunger in me. Even the smell of it made my nausea start swirling at the bottom of my gut.

“We haven’t had the easiest of times.” Why did he sound so sad? My nausea only twisted more and more the longer I looked at him.

I looked over the food one more time as Asher slid a glass of orange juice over to me. “It’s about to hit six months, isn’t it?”

Now it was my turn to smile sadly, because our time was nearing its end, and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it.

“It is.” Asher swirled the juice in his cup around, watching it like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

“What does that mean for us?” I thrummed my fingers on the table, knowing I should take some food but found myself unable to. Just the thought of it made my stomach tighten.

“I haven’t really thought that far ahead,” Asher murmured, taking a sip of his juice, then scooping a pile of scrambled eggs onto his plate. “But I want you to know that no matter what, this has been wonderful.”

“Wonderful?” I laughed, fighting the urge to cry. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration.”

“There have been good times,” Asher shot back, finally looking up at me. “A few of them.”

“Just that. A few.” I wanted to laugh and cry all at once. The thought of losing him made me ache, but at the same time, could I really lose him if I never had him at all?

“It doesn’t have to be the end.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at me, and I wasn’t even sure if he meant it.

“How have we been six months without ever talking about this?” I couldn’t believe us. The two of us were really something — nearly incapable of having a real discussion.

Then again, was it ever a real relationship?

The answer was no. Buried feelings aside, this had always been a contract, one I paid him to partake in.

“We’ve gone six months without talking about a whole lot.” Asher cleared his throat, turning his attention to me. “I never even asked you about your wolf.”

“It’s still there, just…” I took a slow breath in.

“Dormant.” He finished the sentence for me, and all I could do was nod. “It’s not really a surprise — that’s what trauma does.”

“Will it come back though?” I whispered, the whole subject making me nervous. Another reason why Julian being gone worked out so well for me.

“It will, when all this clears.” Asher reached out, resting his warm palm over my hand.

“I don’t even know what that really means. How can any of this really clear up?” My throat was tightening, and I hated it. I would not cry.

“Everything always gets better. Trust me.” Asher gave me a genuine smile, one I hadn’t seen in a long time now, and I so badly wanted to believe him.

But I couldn’t shake the horrible feeling that this was some sort of goodbye.

“I’ve been feeling sick for days. The stress, it’s just…eating away at me.” I looked at the plates of food again, the smell of eggs and syrup invading my nose.

“You need to eat,” Asher chuckled, nudging the plate of eggs closer. “It’ll help, even if you think it won’t.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked him again, staring at the plate of eggs as my stomach bubbled.

“Can’t I do something nice for you?” Asher gave me his signature cheeky smile, and butterflies fluttered like a foreign object through me.

“I’ve been terrible to you,” I whispered, my palms breaking into a sweat. “You must be so ready to leave.”

“Listen, Sienna…” Asher sighed, and my nausea took a step up. Something bad was coming.

“Is it over?” I managed to choke out, the nausea spreading its tendrils across me.

“I just…have to go somewhere for a while, okay?” Asher sounded so conflicted, and I couldn’t understand it. He was hiding something, like he always did, and this time, I wanted to fight it.

“What aren’t you telling me, Asher? What do you know?” My fiery gaze locked onto him, a god awful sour taste slowly making its way through my mouth as the nausea writhed in my stomach.

“I - ” He began, but I couldn’t stay at the table another second. I shoved the chair back, gagging, the smell of the breakfast food, the orange juice, Asher himself, it was all too much.

I was going to throw up.

“Excuse me — ” I gasped, stumbling away towards the bathroom, leaving Asher alone at the table.

I barely made it into the bathroom before I spewed out my entire stomach, confusion pouring through me.

Why was this happening so often?

A low groan came out of me, and I flushed the toilet, splashing my face with cold water.

I stared in the mirror, ignoring the question that moved to the forefront of my mind.

Could I be…

I flung open the cabinet under the sink, my eyes landing on a pregnancy test tucked in the very back.

I can’t be.

It was the stress, right? There was just no way. Then again…

I ripped open the box, starting to hyperventilate as I peed on it, tears welling in my eyes. This couldn’t be happening, it wasn’t the right time, it just couldn’t be.

Once I was done, I placed the test on the counter, staring at it so long my eyes started to dry out. Two minutes. I had to wait two minutes.

It was the longest two minutes of my life, and all I could think about was all the things that could go wrong. Or, maybe, just maybe, this was all a fluke and I wouldn’t be pregnant.

Except there was the nausea, the sensitivity to smells, this weird feeling that I’m not just taking care of myself anymore…

When the two minutes was up, I’d already convinced myself of my new reality. With a shaky hand, I reached to the bathroom counter, gripping the test for a moment before looking at its results.

It’s going to be okay, I chanted to myself, over and over and over.

But even then, when I looked at the test and saw it positive, I still burst out crying, terrified for what the future would bring.