Chapter 58

— Sienna’s POV —

I had to promptly get out of the house after Asher left. The guilt ate away at me like a parasite, a dark cloud settling uncomfortably on my shoulders.

I’d lied, really hard, when he’d asked about my feelings. The crazy thing was, I knew he knew I was lying, but he didn’t fight for me.

Was it so bad that I’d wanted him to fight, if only a little bit?

My focus turned back to the list in front of me, where I was marking off people in the pack, finally taking a headcount. We were lucky so far because not one person was missing.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief at that.

That relief was short lived the second I realized Mia was strolling up to me.

Oh here we go.

“Such a pleasure to see you,” I said through mostly gritted teeth. She knew I was lying, and still, she flashed me that perfectly white toothed smile of hers.

Wonder what she was here to bitch about this time.

“Do you think you’re ready for a rogue attack, Sienna?” Mia mused, clearly loving the sound of her own voice.

“No, I’m definitely not. But I’m working on it,” I gave her the fakest smile possible, turning my eyes back to my list, hoping she’d leave.

Wishful thinking, Sienna.

“You have virtually no security. No one at the borders, watching for intruders. Maybe Lucius sent a few men over after the fires, but is that enough?”

“What do you expect me to do? Didn’t we already talk about this?” She was beating a dead horse at this point, drilling the same moot point into my head.

“I’m sorry, but is there something I can help you with? I have a lot to deal with, being an Alpha and all.” I spared her a brief glance, busying myself with the papers as much as I could.

Please leave, please leave, please —

Mia’s eyes narrowed, and I knew she could smell Asher all over me, even after I scrubbed myself down.

Good, I hoped she smelled him real good, because he sure wasn’t going to be all over her.

At least not yet, I muttered to myself.

“So what’s your plan if rogues attack then, hm?” Mia put her hands to her hips. “Remember, this is all part of my job.”

Part of my job this, part of my job that, I mimicked in my head.

“Mia, I’m fully aware of your job description,” I said, exhausted. “I need you to let me do mine.”

My patience was dwindling. It was always the same thing with her, time and time again. We bickered back and forth, and then someone stormed off. End of story.

“I think you need to be prepared for the worst,” she shrugged. “It doesn’t seem like you are, and that’s a quality that Alpha’s need to have.”

“I have infinite other problems I’m dealing with. Not only is it the aftermath of the fires, it’s the aftermath of that bombing, too, which stretches to all of us as Alpha’s.” The words I didn’t say?

I don’t need your bitching on top of all of that, too.

“I find it just a little too convenient that Julian disappeared, after all the problems you’ve had with him.” Mia’s eyes flashed in that way they always did before all hell broke loose.

“Are you serious right now?” I scoffed, finally giving her my full attention. “That is absolutely ridiculous, if you’re implying what I think you are.”

“Oh, I’m — ”

No, I was done with this. Done with her.

“You’re accusing me of having something to do with that act of terror? You’re disgusting. You’re lucky we’re not investigating you.”

I missed my wolf dearly in that moment. I missed the way it would give me a sense of fearlessness in these kinds of interactions, a bite that no one could counter.

“Little old me?” Mia gasped, raising her hand to her chest. “I’d never.”

“Neither would I. And now I’ve got to go.” I’d heard enough of her nonsense, especially after being accused of having anything to do with that bombing.

I stalked off, tucking my clipboard under my arm and heading for the house. When I got there, I stopped in my tracks, realizing I’d been missing someone’s presence that I couldn’t believe I was just now noticing.

Beta Simon hadn’t been seen since the charity event.

“Simon,” I whispered, my heart clenching in my chest. How could I not have noticed his absence? I felt like a terrible Alpha.

I quickly scribbled his name on my list, circling it in red. He was the only one missing from my pack as of right now.

“I’m sorry,” I croaked, putting my head down on the dining room table, a soft sob breaking out of me.

There was a bad feeling pressing down on me, like something terrible was on the horizon. It’d been one thing after the next the last few days, and I knew the terror couldn’t be over.

Asher burst through the front door, tearing me from my thoughts, and the terrified look on his face only made me feel worse.

“What?” I whispered, tears still trailing down my cheeks.

“I saw a rogue in the cliffs around the Nightfall border. Scouting.”

“No,” I whimpered, my head falling into my now sweaty palms. “We don’t have the security for this. Lucius won’t be able to spare any more soldiers, will he?”

“He has thousands,” Asher said softly, pacing in front of the table. “And I think we need to act fast on this.”

The pressure was mounting, and I was beginning to feel the effects of suffocation. We weren’t ready for an attack — we were still recovering from the fires.

“This is too much,” I croaked, wanting so badly to cry. “I can hardly do anything.”

I perked up as an idea dawned on me, and Asher hesitated, seeing that I’d thought of something. Something he probably wouldn’t like.

“I want to keep watch while our soldiers are low,” I said, speaking more to myself than to him.

“Absolutely not. You can’t put yourself right in the face of danger.” Asher shook his head, glaring at me.

“Who knows what they’re doing. I’m going to keep watch, tonight, from one of the watchtowers at the border.”

The watchtowers were basically super fancy treehouses, nestled up in the trees, stocked with food and weapons of all different kinds. They were nearly impossible to see, especially at night, and were extremely safe to camp out in.

“Then I’m going to go too,” Asher demanded, despite the tension between us. That made my heart flutter in a way it definitely shouldn’t have after I so blatantly lied to him.

“Fine. We’ll go as the sun sets. Better get some rest, because we’ll be up all night.” There was a slight challenge to my voice, like he’d never pulled an all nighter before.

What had I just signed myself up for? An entire night up in the watchtower with Asher, when the night before, he’d taken me so hard that my thighs still quivered?

Great idea, Sienna. Really, really great idea.

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?