Chapter 37

Sienna’s POV

It felt so good to laugh. I hadn’t laughed like this in so long — I was carefree, my problems long forgotten. The only thing in my mind was joy.

Lucius was telling me some of his childhood stories, how he was a mischievous child, running around the grounds of the capital city when he wasn’t supposed to.

As our laughter subsided, I looked at him.

Really looked at him.

“Aren’t you ever lonely?” I asked, the conversation turning serious after a lighthearted break down memory lane.

His eyes settled on mine, pausing to think about his response.

“Don’t we all?” He said with a sad smile, and I knew the answer to my question was yes.

What baffled me was that Lucius had never locked down a mate. He’d told me it just hadn’t happened for him, and he’d never been pressed to marry with his powerful family line backing him.

That must have been nice. I could only imagine how it would have felt to not have had the stress of locking down a mate lingering over my head just days after my parents died.

All this time, Lucius had been alone. Sure, he had his fun, his one night stands, his pleasurable encounters — but that couldn’t be forever. I knew, deep down, that he craved connection, too.

That’s what all of us craved. What I lacked now, as well.

The tension between us mounted, and Lucius skillfully changed the subject. He was exceptional at that.

“I know you’re worried about the rebuilding and all the penalties left from contracts.”

“How can I not be?” I leaned back in my chair, glancing over to the rubble as a team of Blackmoon’s best continued to clear it, setting the path for reconstruction.

“There are going to be a lot of stresses in this position, and those are only the beginning.” Lucius said it more as a warning than anything else.

“If I even keep the position,” I muttered. “Mia is out to get me.”

Lucius rolled his eyes at the mention of her name. “Ah, Mia.”

“It’s not easy for me to see them together,” I whispered, heat flushing to my cheeks. “Even if Asher and I are just contract mates.”

“I’ve always believed you’re more than just that, but neither of you will acknowledge it.” Lucius sounded a hint annoyed, probably tired of hearing both our problems about one another.

“Well Asher is clearly caught up on Mia,” I muttered, waving a hand to try and dismiss the topic.

Lucius did not dismiss it.

“Mia isn’t the girl she was all those years ago. Asher would never fall for anyone like her these days.”

“She’s beautiful though,” I winced, feeling Lucius sharp gaze focus on me.

“So are you, Sienna. But it’s not a beauty contest,” he sighed. “It’s about what’s in the soul.”

“Mia’s soul is nonexistent,” I mumbled, and Lucius laughed, the sound infectious enough to make me giggle, too.

“I’m going to say this, and it’ll sound cheesy,” Lucius started, the edges of his eyes crinkling with his smile. “Sometimes you have to follow your heart.”

“Yeah, that was cheesy,” I smirked back, amused by his attempt to give me love advice.

He shrugged, chuckling again. “It’s the truth.”

“Maybe so,” I said, my thoughts somewhere distant, a place where I didn’t have to worry about any of this — love, money, enemies.

“You two still haven’t spoken about all that’s happened lately. I advise that you do.” Lucius glanced away from me, his eyes landing on the rubble.

“I like to rely on myself and myself alone.”

“No,” Lucius eyed me, shaking his head just a little. “That’s not how marriage works.”

“In the long term, that’s best, isn’t it? Focus on my own success in Nightwind, promote the potions more, expand business.”

“Don’t shut him out of that,” Lucius advised, the weight of his gaze making me a little nervous.

“Lucius, he’s only around so much longer.” I kept pushing that idea, over and over, because that’s what I kept telling myself. It was how I protected my heart.

“I’m aware,” Lucius said dryly, raising his eyebrows. “It doesn’t have to be though.”

“I’m sorry, we came here to talk about Nightwind and its recovery, not my nonexistent love life.” My cheeks heated up, embarrassed that I was discussing all of this with Lucius.

“We can talk about whatever you want,” he said so softly that a chill ran through me. So much care in those few words.

I had to brush that aside though. Now wasn’t the time to think about the smooth way Lucius spoke to me.

Even if it was really insanely sexy.

“I did want to let you know about the charity event in a few weeks,” Lucius said, expertly shifting the subject again. “I host it annually.”

“I remember,” I smiled, recalling all the charity events my parents had attended, only a few of which I’d been lucky enough to attend with them.

“I hope you’ll come,” Lucius grinned, his smile melting something in me.

“You know I will.” I reached out and nudged his shoulder, my eyes twinkling. Being around Lucius made me comfortable, though in a slightly different way from the comfort Asher gave me.

I couldn’t quite differentiate what that comfort was or why.

“I’d better head back — quite a few people expecting me.” Lucius pushed back from his chair, giving me that dashing smile he always did.

“Such a busy man,” I teased, and he winked.

Yes, it did give me butterflies.

“We’ll talk soon,” he nodded as he stepped away, strolling off down the walkway back to Blackmoon.

I watched him until his bulky form disappeared into a distant speck.

When I returned home, I found Asher sitting at the dining room table, clearly waiting for me.

“Hi,” I said slowly, intimidated by the aura he was off-putting. It was cold, standoffish.

Very unlike him when it came to me.

“We need to talk about everything. We’ve just put it off for so long, Sienna, and I think it’s time — ”

I couldn’t stop myself from interrupting him, my defenses running high.

“In the end, Asher, we’re just temporary. So why does it matter?” I didn’t want to start a fight, but it was obvious one was brewing.

I felt more feisty than normal, and clearly he did too.

“I want to talk about this. I want us to smooth things out — though it’s obvious now isn’t the time.” Asher muttered the words, standing up from the table.

“I agree.” My words were final, the conversation closed for the night.

Both of us strolled to our own respective rooms — a great married couple, huh? — and slammed the doors.

For hours, I stared at the ceiling, the many problems of the pack, and my own personal life, swimming in my mind.

When it became evident I wasn’t going to be sleeping anytime soon, I moved to my desk and started writing, idea after idea after idea.

Nightwind was going to be successful — I was going to make sure of it.

Nothing would get in my way. Not Mia. Not Asher.

And especially not my own heart.