Chapter 20

—Sienna’s POV—

The heat coursing through me was blurring my judgement, making me forget that Asher and I weren’t real. Whatever this bond was, it was just a contract.

Yet I couldn’t resist touching him. The hardness of him pressing against my core was almost enough to make me give in — but I knew I’d regret it in the end.

I couldn’t get physical with him again.

Couldn’t let him inside me.

“Asher,” I moaned, half wanting him to keep going, half needing him to notice my hesitation and stop without me having to do it for him.

My hips bucked up against his, the bite at my neck faintly stinging, reminding me why I was feeling the way I was.

He can sense the hesitation, I thought, noticing the way he was looking at me with pause.

I’d already said I was sure, and he knew I wasn’t.

God, just enjoy yourself already, Sienna.

His fingers stayed curled in the hem of my underwear, not pulling it down - or ripping it off.

“Sienna,” Asher mumbled back, his hips pressed down against mine, the thin fabric of my underwear the only thing separating us from waves and waves of pleasure.

He was so respectful it pained me. So different from the monster that Julian was.

If I wanted it, if I gave him the okay one more time, he’d give me some of the greatest sex I’d ever had, just like before.

Except that would result in attachment to him. More attachment.

Why not enjoy him while you have him?

I shut the thought down, relaxing my hips so they weren’t so pressed to his length.

“S-stop,” I finally croaked, and Asher froze, pulling away slightly.

To my embarrassment, a thin line of tears welled in my eyes. “This is all fake. Whether it’s a real mate bond or this mark…we’ll be separated in six months. Mia is waiting for you.”

“I don’t want Mia,” Asher exhaled, his body still hovering over mine, hoping I’d change my mind.

I want you. The unspoken words saturated the air around us.

“You don’t want me either,” I said instead, my heart aching, body screaming for me to give it the pleasure it was yearning for. “You want a divorce.”

“You don’t even know why,” Asher said defensively, brushing stray strands of his hair from his face. “You didn’t care to ask.”

“You wouldn’t tell me anyway,” I countered, my jaw clenched, pushing at his chest. I wanted him away from me, now.

“I want this.” His warm breath washed over my face, his scent twirling in my nostrils, drawing me in.

“I can’t,” I said sadly. “Please stop.”

It hurt every fiber of me to tell him to back off, but I had to. Getting any more attached would only result in so much irreversible pain when we separated.

He immediately lifted himself off of me, dejected. His eyes averted, and he reached for his discarded tuxedo, quickly slipping back into it, focusing on his reflection in the mirror nearby.

I stayed there, plastered to the bed, for a long moment, finally reaching for my dress, the ache in my legs still raging uncontrollably.

We dressed in silence, Asher stepping over to me to zip my dress up without me even asking. I didn’t allow my breath to catch in my throat when his fingers brushed my bare back, forcing back any remaining inkling of desire for him.

A knock on the door broke the awkward silence, relief pouring through me at the sound of Beta Simon’s voice.

“The Lycan King is arriving. It’s best if you’re there for it - everyone else is.”

“May I meet with him?” I asked, strapping my shoes back on and fixing the few out of place strands of hair on my updo.

“I’ll be sitting this one out,” Asher said, strolling towards the door. “She’ll go, Simon. I need some air.”

He opened the door and pushed past Simon, who looked utterly confused.

“Things got heated,” I said with a flush to my cheeks. “Sorry.”

“I saw.” Simon cleared his throat, stepping back into the hall. “The King wants to meet with all the Alpha’s individually — especially you.”

A stab of nerves hit me. The Lycan King wanted to speak with me alone?

I’d always been loyal to the King, something my parents had instilled in me, even after all the devastation thirteen years ago.

I followed Simon back down to the ballroom, ignoring the smirking gazes of the crowd, so sure of what Asher and I had just done.

The little quickie they assumed couldn’t have been any more wrong.

It sure could have been one if it weren’t for your walls.

Simon led me to the entrance, where the other Alpha’s were standing - Julian noticeably absent - awaiting the King’s arrival.

Within seconds, he ventured in, the crown on his head glimmering in the twinkling lights of the ballroom. He greeted every Alpha personally, leaving me last of them all.

“Sienna Hawke,” he nodded, squeezing my hand gently.

“Your Majesty,” I bowed my head in response, the moment over in the blink of an eye as he was led through the crowd away from us.

Simon nudged me from behind, motioning me through the swarms of people. Everyone was still staring, one Luna actually stopping me.

“It’s awful what Julian did to you. We stand with you, you know,” she smiled, and I couldn’t help but return it.

“Thank you. He doesn’t deserve his place.” I nodded and stepped away, my throat tightening at the topic of Julian. So much had happened in the last few days with him that I needed a moment away from it all.

“The King will see you now,” Simon said, leading me to the side of the ballroom to one of the larger offices, the double doors opening to the Lycan King sitting behind a massive, ornate desk.

“Ah, Sienna,” he nodded gruffly, and I instantly folded into a curtsy.

“No need for that,” the King waved me forward, gesturing to the chair across from him. “Please sit — I’ve some things I’ve wanted to talk to you about.”

The King had things to talk to me about? It wasn’t a secret what had happened to my parents, the turmoil between packs of my leading — and my age — all over the nation.

But to hear the King say that to me was mind-blowing, nonetheless.

“It’s an honor to speak with you.” I sat carefully in the seat across from him, crossing my legs like a proper lady.

“I was sorry to hear about your parents. They were quite the leaders,” the King said with melancholy, my heart skipping a beat.

“It was very unexpected.” I knew I couldn’t say much else, or I’d start crying.

That was absolutely not an option right now.

“Secrets have been kept from you, Sienna. All kinds of them.”

My heart began to race. I’d always known there was more than meets the eye when it came to my parents and their death, their connection to Asher always drawing suspicion.

“Sir?” I croaked out, tugging at my fingers in my lap.

“The one you deserve to know most of all right now, though, is that your parents died because of Prince Alaric.”

…What?