Chapter 87

Grace

I stepped out of Charles's office, the faint echo of our waltz still lingering in my movements and my mouth still tingling. I was already wet thinking about what he had planned. His words of encouragement had provided a measure of comfort, but the weight of uncertainty about Gabriel Black was still heavy on my mind. I had to know the truth, regardless of where it might lead. If it went sideways, I just hoped I was still in the mood for whatever Charles wanted to give me.

I got to my office, closed and locked the door, and pulled out my phone. After a deep breath, I dialed Gabriel's number. It rang a few times before his voice came through the line, warm and friendly.

"Grace, I didn't expect to hear from you tonight. Is everything all right?"

I hesitated for a moment, gathering my thoughts. I probably should have done it before, but was there really a good way to ask if he'd been a member of an anti-werewolf terrorist organization?

If there was, Eason would know.

"Gabriel," I began, trying to keep my voice steady, "there's something I need to ask you about."

His tone shifted slightly to something cautious and wary. Was that a good thing or a sign of guilt?

"Of course, Grace. You can ask me anything. What's on your mind?"

I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the conversation ahead. "I received some information about your past associations with Wolfsbane, the anti-werewolf group. I need to know the truth about your involvement."

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line, and I could almost hear his thoughts racing. Shit, it was true. He was some sort of reformed terrorist, what Jackson might have become if he had ever joined Blood Moon.

Then, Gabriel spoke, his voice carefully measured. "I see. You've been doing your research. Grace, I won't deny that I had some associations with Wolfsbane when I was much younger."

My heart sank at his admission. I had hoped for a different response, one that would put my concerns to rest. I sank onto the couch as the disappointment settled on me.

"Associations? What does that mean, Gabriel?"

He sighed, his voice carrying a weight of regret. "It's complicated. Is now a good time to go into details? I don't want to leave you with doubts."

A little hope stirred in me. The sentiment made me think of Charles.

"I don't want to have any doubts either."

"Very well. I was born into Wolfsbane, in a manner of speaking." His voice was pained but even. He sounded uncomfortable. "First, you should understand that Wolfsbane isn't really much of a terrorist organization so much as a destructive cult dedicated to lycan supremacy. I don't know if you've heard of the LSU, but you should think of Wolfsbane as the radical arm of it, though no one says it."

He paused. "They're... far more in line with Blood Moon in terms of danger and the lengths they're willing to go."

I swallowed. "What do you mean you were born into it?"

"My father was the former leader of Wolfsbane," Gabriel began, his words heavy with the weight of the past. "He took me away from my mother when I was just a child and raised me within the group. I was at the bottom rung from the day he took me until the day I left because I was part werewolf."

I listened intently, my heart aching for the young boy he had once been trapped in a cult-like organization. I couldn't help but imagine the horrors he must have endured during those years, the hardships he had faced. My sympathy for him deepened as he continued.

"I won't go into the details of what they made me do," he said, his voice trembling. "It's...horrific, and I'd rather like to get some sleep tonight. But when I finally managed to escape, I returned to Silver Eclipse. At that time, we had just lost our alpha, my grandmother, along with all potential heirs, including my mother."

"Oh, Gabriel, I... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"

"No," he said. "You have every right to know, and it may come up sometime in the future. I had planned to tell you eventually, but better early than too late."

He cleared his throat. "In the aftermath, I took over as alpha. It was the only thing I could think to do to honor their memories and atone for the things I'd been made to do. I did what had to be done to rebuild and expand to make Silver Eclipse what it is today. "

"I... don't even know what to say, Gabriel," I said. "Well... I mean, I have a lot of things I could say, but I don't think any of it would be appropriate."

"I can't change my history, Grace," he continued, his voice tinged with sadness. "But I can promise you that the man I am is nothing like my father or the man I had been raised to be."

His words hung in the air, and I felt a mixture of emotions. Gabriel had revealed a painful chapter of his life, one that had shaped him into the alpha he had become. The truth was difficult to digest, but it also set me at ease.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Gabriel," I said, my voice soft with empathy. "I need some time to process everything, but I appreciate your honesty."

"Take all the time you need, Grace. I understand that this isn't easy for you, and I hope you can find it in your heart to trust me."

"I do," I said, surprised by how true that felt. "Trust you, that is... Hearing you talk about Silver Eclipse, having seen the wonder and awe you had about Mooncrest... How could I not?"

"I'm sensing a but..."

I laughed. My eyes burning. "Not a but just me and my situation. I feel even more pathetic, honestly."

"Grace--"

"You rebuilt your pack from ruins and turned it into one of the wealthiest packs in the States. You're on the cusp of getting a seat on the Senate for a pack that wasn't even on a proper map a decade ago. Your mother, your grandmother, your family would be so proud of you--is so proud of you. I know it."

I wiped my face. "Which is far more than what I can say, and all I went through was a divorce."

"You can't compare miseries," he said.

"I think being trapped in a cult takes the trophy."

I scoffed. "That isn't what I meant. We are all subject to the turns of the world. The impact of monumental shifts in our lives defines us for better or worse, and you can't quantify that. Maybe you just didn't need a cult run-in to put you on the path you're on now."

"I don't think it's fair to say you did."

"And I don't think it's fair for you to belittle your pain." My jaw trembled. "Don't shortchange your pain. Plenty of others will do it no matter where that pain comes from."

My jaw trembled. "It's just...sometimes, I feel like I'm reaching for a connection with my father by taking on this alpha position. I want to make him proud, but I'm constantly questioning whether I'm doing the right thing. I'm always getting punched in the face with my mistakes."

"Grace," Gabriel said softly. "You're a leader. That's part of the job."

Laughter escaped me, startled out of me.

"If you think that my pack is completely on board with every decision I've made, you're wrong. Even now, there's always someone to say well, you could have done this or that better. It never ends."

"Never?"

"Nope. What matters is that you're doing what you can, what you feel is right for you and your pack. And in that regard, you're doing more than enough. Leading a pack is a monumental responsibility. You are doing your best, and that's the best anyone, especially yourself, can reasonably ask. Your father would undoubtedly be proud of what you've accomplished."

His words offered some comfort, but the doubts still lingered within me. Gabriel's own journey of transformation from his painful past gave me hope that I could continue to grow as an alpha, but it also showed me how much I was lacking.

"Thank you, Gabriel."

"Don't let it keep you up, okay?"

"I'll try."

I hung up and sat back. Our conversation had left me with a whirlwind of emotions. I left my office, sort of in a daze. I wanted to head back to Charles' office, but I couldn't. I headed downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of hot chocolate.

Then, I heard the door open, and a familiar voice called out. "Grace?"

My heart leaped. I dropped my cup on the counter and rushed to the entrance and saw Eason standing there, a weary but hopeful smile on his face.

"Eason!" I rushed to him, throwing my arms around him.

Eason returned my hug, and for a moment, it felt like we were just kids again.

Us against the world.

"Don't you ever hide something like that from me again."

He chuckled, a soft and tired sound, and squeezed me closer.

"I guess we're even now, given the state of your former marriage."

I grinned and pulled back, grabbing his bag and pulling him inside.

"You're looking a lot better..."

"You too," he wiggled his eyebrows. "Been getting worked out a lot? You lost weight, hm?"

I swatted him, and he laughed. We walked back into the kitchen.

"I was thinking," Eason said softly. "That... maybe, if it's not too much, I would move back permanently..."

My eyes burned with tears, and I pulled him into another tight hug.

"We'll go pick up your stuff tomorrow," I said. He squeezed me back. "Welcome home."