Chapter 35

Grace

I walked into the home office with a deep sigh, readying myself for what I needed to do today, but first, I wanted to check on how things were going. I opened my laptop, logging into the company’s brokerage account. The strategy was working. We were nearing the seventy percent mark, and there were arrangements still being made for the rest. Some of the other stocks that the company owned were doing well enough that it looked like the company’s buyback wouldn’t hit our bank account too hard. Based on all the finances, there was a good chance that with the sale of the rest of the manufactured stock, we wouldn’t have to delve too much into the money that Charles had invested more than we already had.

I scanned over a few stock reports and sighed. Every pack attached to a public company issued stock. Mooncrest had been one of the last companies to go public when Devin made it public. People were speculating all over the place about what the buyback meant for the future of Mooncrest, but I didn’t care.

The company’s finances were looking up, and the pack’s finances were now relatively stable, save a few corrections that needed to be made. A reassuring feeling of accomplishment settled over me. The recent efforts had paid off, allowing us a temporary respite from the relentless pressure of financial uncertainty. As I shifted my attention toward the next crucial step in our journey, a sense of purpose drove me forward.

The longevity drug was going to change the future of the States, Mooncrest, and Wolfe Medical, but the process of getting the new drug ready for patent was no small feat. It required a level of focus and dedication that left me little room for distractions.

I put Charles’ offhanded invitation and tentative planning for Cecil’s birthday out of my mind as I started to go through all the notes I had on who had been working on the project last. They were the first people I wanted to reach out to.

Based on what I could get from the remaining staff, most of them had left during Devin’s rule rather than been let go. The few that had been let go were probably more bitter than I could handle right now. I had hoped it would be easy.

It had to be, there weren’t many medical companies in the werewolf world hiring researchers, and obviously, they would jump at the chance to come back for this project.

“No, thanks,” the man said with a scoff. “As if.”

“But you and I both know the project is—”

“A waste of time. Isn’t that why you left in the first place?”

I winced. “That’s not—”

He hung up in my face, and I was floored. I called back, but it went straight to voicemail. I left what I hoped was a convincing message before going to the next person on the list.

Hours later, I got off the phone, exhausted. My head was pounding, and my heart was full of grief. Not a single person who had been part of the project before was interested. Many of them had moved on to other opportunities and were making more than I could afford to pay or just unwilling to come back since they didn’t believe in the project.

It probably didn’t help that I couldn’t fully articulate the science behind it in the first place. My scientific knowledge had slipped more than I realized. I hadn’t been able to answer the questions the way I knew I should have. My heart twisted with grief for all the things I’d lost and hadn’t realized.

Still, I’d called most of the people on my list and had nothing to show for it.

Hearing their reasoning and their complaints felt like I was being thrust back to the day I got divorced all over again, slapped in the face with everything I’d done wrong and the consequences of my own selfishness.

I was exhausted. Being this tired and trying some more wasn’t going to help me. I took a moment to step away from my work and gather my thoughts. I didn’t want to call anyone else, but I had to. I shook my head. Maybe I could just take a break. The temptation to pick up the search for Charles’ mate was strong, but I resisted it.

I had other things to worry about than my conscience towards a man that I said I couldn’t have anyway! I set my jaw, angry with myself about that stupid promise and angry about being angry about it. It was a smart idea. The right thing to do, given the circumstances, and I would make sure that things remained clean between us. Yet, the undeniable pull of our attraction didn’t seem to give a damn about good ideas and intentions. It barely seemed to care about that mate mark. It felt like it was dragging me closer and closer, no matter how I dug in my heels.

He has a mate.

No matter what he said, he had a mate.

As I glanced at the list of potential candidates before me, a sense of accomplishment mingled with a hint of trepidation.

My eyes pricked with tears. If I hadn’t been stupid and selfish, I wouldn’t be in this position, but what good would kicking myself do me now?

Especially when everyone else seemed to be willing to kick me twice as hard.

With a sigh, I set aside the list for a moment and turned my attention to the matter of my re-application to the doctoral program. Charles was right. I needed to finish, this was always meant to be my dissertation, but the fear of it was still gripping me.

The idea of returning to academia was both exciting and daunting, a chance to reclaim a part of my identity that had been stolen, hidden, and shoved away by Devin, my grief, my stupidity, and the demands of my children. My children needed me still, but they needed me to do this even more.

As I logged into the application portal, anticipation swelled within me. I opened the new message with hope and terror. What if I wasn’t accepted back? What if this was all just for nothing?

Accepted.

A surge of joy and relief coursed through me, quickly followed by a creeping sense of uncertainty. There wasn’t a financial aid letter there that had been there before. I clicked around but still found nothing but the cost of attendance estimate and the bill.

No grants.

No scholarships.

The financial implications of this decision began to dawn on me. The absence of grants and scholarships meant I would have to pay for it myself. Panic gnawed at the edges of my thoughts. I didn’t have the money for this, not all at once. I could take out a loan, but my credit was probably in the gutter.

Could I claim it as a business expense? Maybe, but Wolfe Medical needed all the cash it had for the bills coming up in a couple of months and in case of emergencies.

Turning away from the screen, I found myself drawn to a portrait of my grandfather that hung on the wall. His gaze seemed to pierce through time, a silent reminder of the legacy he had left behind.

Legacy.

I gasped.

The Legacy Fund!

That’s what my father had called it. It was the educational trust fund my grandfather had established for me and Eason. It was a gift I had long forgotten, a safety net that could potentially ease the burden of the financial strain I was now facing.

The memory of my grandfather’s unwavering belief in education and self-improvement brought a mix of emotions—gratitude, nostalgia, and a deep sense of responsibility. As I contemplated tapping into the trust fund, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was honoring his legacy by pursuing my education once more. The weight of his expectations mingled with the weight of my own aspirations, creating a complex tapestry of motivations.

With a determined exhale, I made a mental note to call our pack lawyer for the details of the trust fund.

I’ll always be here for you.

My jaw trembled as I remembered his words. My father and my grandfather always said it, and while I knew that wasn’t to say they would be alive forever, I knew it meant that they would always be supporting me. I took a note and put the due date on my calendar before starting to look through my re-admission checklist. I’d have to take some exams to ensure that I was still able to do the work, so I made a list of textbooks and reference materials to study before going back to working on things for the pack. As I opened the pack’s budget, I took a deep breath and hoped that whatever I did find wouldn’t be yet another fire to put out.