Chapter 100

Grace

It had taken an hour after I woke Eason up to get to the right person in the police forces to activate the curfew protocols. I didn't even know those existed until tonight. I thought Eason would go back to sleep after it was done, but he just settled at the table on the back patio in the cold night air on his laptop for the next few hours. I didn't even think he went to sleep, even though I did.

I woke up feeling guilty and showered. Either Charles or Eason had set out a new suit in a deep, rich royal blue for me, but the luxury of the way it felt on my skin felt hollow. I couldn't even feel a bit of joy at the breakfast that Charles had made. Eason was at the table, tearing through steaks with what looked like a frozen drink beside him. He didn't look much better or say much before leaving and heading to City Hall. The chauffered car picked me up and drove to City Hall. The streets were filled with people like normal, and my mind was miles away.

The guilt was eating away at me in a way it hadn't since this started. Yes, I felt terrible that I had let Devin do this. I felt terrible that all of this was happening, but more than the regrets that I knew were coming were all these regrets that were just now showing up.

The distance between me and Eason, how little I really knew about the world, and the fact that as much as I wanted to make excuses, I couldn't.

I had always known that when Dad died, I would be alpha. It had been expected, acknowledged. It was most of the reason I had gotten away with as much as I did in high school and college, from all the fights to just the general disregard I'd had for so many people even before I let a practical stranger take over my family's pack.

You are a coward.

To hell with everyone doing their best to get us through all of this but you, like always.

I wanted to say that Eason's words were unfair. He hadn't had to face the fear of being homeless with two children. He hadn't faced divorce and destitution.

Eason also hadn't been dumb enough not to ask the questions that needed to be asked out of some misguided sense of love.

I was a coward, and every day felt like a struggle to try and get past that. I leaned my head against the glass and took a deep breath.

I'd come so far from that panicked day of realizing what kind of state Mooncrest was in. Mooncrest had come so far, but there was still so much more to go.

If we got out of this...

I bit my lip and met my own gaze in the reflection of the glass.

If we got out of this, I'd be better.

How? I didn't know, but just as I hadn't been able to see the path from homelessness to now, I was sure there was a path in the darkness from here back to safety.

I was stronger now. I had to be, not just for me but for my kids and everyone who had been sacrificing to support me. I owed this to the young woman whom I'd made walk away from her dreams for fantasy, to my father's memory, and to every Alpha Wolfe who came before him.

The car slowed to a stop in front of City Hall. I took a deep breath, remembering my father's speech. I'd saved it to my phone. I got out of the car and headed up the stairs past the podium that had been installed there when the building was built. It had been the same podium my father had given his address in.

I went inside the office of the alpha and took a deep breath before playing his address again. I smiled at the way his blue jacket seemed crinkled across the front. He looked tired and furious, like he'd fallen asleep at his desk and woke up to bad news. He looked like a leader pouring every bit of himself into the well-being of his pack. I let the words wash over me, trying to borrow some of that strength and determination. My hands were shaking. My heart was racing. Fear was turning my stomach.

A knock sounded on my door.

"Come in."

The door opened with Eason and Amira coming in. He was showered, eating a popsicle, carrying his laptop, and dressed in one of those tailored blue suits that screamed young professional. Behind him was a tall mass of a man I didn't recognize until I saw his eyes.

"Charles?"

I blinked, taking Charles in. He wasn't wearing his usual three-piece suit. A lock of his hair was braided and it was all tied back neatly out of his face. Fabric pooled around his neck like a wide turtleneck, and there was something in his ear flashing with a soft white light. The outfit was all black, plated with metallic black panels that almost disappeared if you didn't look close enough. He was dressed like an Enforcer right down to his black combat boots. My heart fluttered as he came in. Surprised and interest filled me. He looked damn good and was more of a pick-me-up than I thought I would get today.

"I thought..."

He smiled as Eason set his laptop down, rumbled, and left again. Charles crossed the room to me. His stride was confident and easy. He crouched beside me and took my hands.

"What was... that about?" I asked.

"He said he was taking a break from you for a bit," Charles said, squeezing my hands. "As I understand from Amira, you two had words yesterday."

I nodded stiffly.

"How are you feeling?" Charles asked, eyeing me. "Be honest."

My jaw trembled. "I want to run."

"Normal."

"I don't want to be here."

"Understandable."

Tears burned in my eyes. "And I feel... so guilty."

"Completely reasonable." Charles pressed a kiss to my hands. "Dealing with whack jobs isn't easy, but you aren't alone in this."

He cupped my face. "Cecil and Richard are with Kelly, and they're safely in an Enforcer van. Your house is empty. Eason will be remaining here, as will Amira. The rest of your staff, including Margaret, are..."

As he continued down the long list of people, where they were, and how he was ensuring their safety, I felt something in me relax a little.

"I'll be heading security for your address today, and Enforcers are already working with the police on their patrols." He flashed me a warm smile, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "If a Blood Moon jackass tries to slip in, I'll know, and we'll deal with it. All you need to do is address the citizens, alright?"

I nodded stiffly. "I..."

"Eason's wrote you a speech," he said and smiled. "Contrary to his silence... he wants so very much for you to be the alpha he knows you can be."

My eyes widened. "He... gave me the impression he thinks I'm a coward."

"A bit harsh, but he's known you longer," Charles said. "And has his own emotions tangled in this, but being a coward stops the moment you think, act, and live beyond the fear."

My shoulders slumped. "You think I'm a coward too."

"We all have cowardly tendencies," he said and leaned up to kiss me gently. "It's part of being alive--self-preservation and all that. What we do with those tendencies, whether we act on them or choose something more, is what keeps us from being cowards. And it's far more important to know if you think you're a coward and what you intend to do about it."

I gripped his arm, holding him so tightly my knuckles popped. "If I say the wrong thing and he blows us all up--"

"That's not something you can know, and it's not a reasonable thing to think." I looked up at him. "This man has an agenda that likely includes the patent and the threat you stand to be to the States' political scene."

Me a threat? He had to be joking.

"And if his plan was served by killing you outright, he would have blown up Mooncrest already. Don't let the menace fool you. This is a game of checkers, not chess."

I blinked at him as he stood and fiddled with my hair, twirling a curl around his finger.

"Is this another lesson about business, or are you just trying to make me feel better?"

He grinned. "They're not mutually exclusive, and terrorism, and thus counter-terrorism is a business. No matter what anyone says."

I let my gaze drift over him. "You never said you were an Enforcer."

"Tradition," he said. "You like it?"

I licked my lips. "It's a great distraction tactic."

"Eason thought so, too." Charles chuckled a low and melodious sound that sent a shiver down my spine. "Maybe I'll convince you into an adults-only costume party later? You can come as the saucy alpha looking for a good time."

I closed my eyes. "Are you manipulating me?"

"I am."

"Keep doing it."

He laughed and stood. "She's ready."

The door opened and Eason walked in. Charles kissed my hand one last time and walked out.

Eason gave me an earpiece, tested it, and let me read the speech once before I realized he was going to feed me the address. It was comforting to know that even though he was pissed off with me, he was still on my side.

I grabbed his hand before I went to the front door.

"Thank you."

He said nothing but nodded stiffly and nudged me toward the door before turning to Amira and a few other staff, saying something about recording and broadcasting.

The anticipation in the crowd was palpable as I stepped up to the podium alone. I had never felt so exposed in my life, but I caught sight of Charles walking the perimeter and several other Enforcers and felt better.

"Deep breath," Eason said in my ear. "Head up. We've got eyes on you, and you're safe. Richard is safe. Cecil is safe. All you have to do is give the speech and come back inside. When you're ready, greet them and we'll start."

Easier said than done, but I nodded. A quick scan of the sea of reporters and concerned citizens showed their expectant faces, their cameras flashing in my direction. It was a defining moment for Mooncrest and for me.

Taking a deep breath, I began, my voice projected through the microphones to reach every ear in the vicinity. "My fellow Mooncrest citizens, thank you for joining me today..."