Introduction
“Kau ingat kau nak pergi mana?”
“Ke sana.” Aku merintih, mengangguk ke arah bangku.
Dia menatapku dengan pandangan yang begitu tajam sehingga membuatkan aku menggigil. Aku menelan air liur dengan susah payah, dan dia menunduk, bibirnya yang hangat menyentuh bibirku. Aku mengerang dan menggenggam bajunya, membalas ciumannya. Conrad menggerakkan tangannya ke belakangku dan meletakkannya di pinggangku untuk menarik tubuhku lebih rapat kepadanya semasa kami berciuman. Aku melingkarkan tanganku di lehernya.
Sebahagian dari diriku telah merindukan ciumannya sejak ciuman pertama kami. Ciuman ini penuh dengan keghairahan tetapi tidak kasar atau tergesa-gesa. Ia cukup sempurna. Tangan bebas Conrad mendarat di pipiku. Aku memaksa lidahku masuk ke dalam mulutnya; aku perlukan lebih lagi. Conrad nampaknya tidak mempunyai masalah dengan itu kerana lidahnya segera menari selari dengan lidahku.
Aku berjalan mundur, tidak melepaskan bibirnya, sehingga belakangku terkena kaunter. Terdapat begitu banyak emosi yang berputar dalam diriku. Aku menggenggam pinggulnya dan menariknya lebih rapat kepadaku. Conrad mengerang kuat ke dalam bibirku, dan aku dapat merasakan kehadirannya yang semakin keras melawan tubuhku. Dia begitu terangsang hanya dengan menciumku. Aku juga sama. Aku terangsang untuk pertama kalinya dalam masa yang lama.
**********
Satu malam.
Satu pesta topeng.
Seorang lelaki tampan.
Begitulah semuanya bermula, semua kerana aku dipaksa hadir oleh bosku untuk berpura-pura menjadi anak perempuannya atau aku akan dipecat.
Mata lelaki tampan itu tertumpu padaku sebaik sahaja aku melangkah masuk. Aku berharap dia akan beralih perhatian kerana dia dikelilingi oleh wanita-wanita cantik, tetapi dia tidak. Sebaik sahaja dia memutuskan untuk mendekati, aku akhirnya sedar dia bukanlah orang asing sama sekali. Dia dan keluarganya memiliki syarikat tempat aku bekerja. Dia tidak boleh tahu siapa aku sebenarnya.
Aku cuba segala cara untuk mengelaknya, tetapi tiada yang berhasil. Sukar untuk menahan diri apabila dia menatapku dengan mata itu dan senyuman yang memikat. Aku menyerah untuk melawan, menghabiskan beberapa jam bersamanya tidak akan mendatangkan bahaya, kan? Selagi aku memakai topeng, dia tidak perlu tahu siapa aku.
Aku tidak pernah merasakan kimia seperti yang aku rasakan dengannya, tetapi itu tidak penting kerana selepas malam ini, aku akan hilang dan dia tidak akan tahu siapa aku. Walaupun dia berjalan melewatiku di jalan, dia tidak akan perasan kerana apa yang dia lihat adalah seorang wanita yang menarik perhatiannya, seorang yang cantik yang sesuai dengan semua orang lain, tetapi dalam realiti aku adalah tiada siapa. Aku bukanlah sesuatu yang istimewa. Jadi masa yang kami habiskan bersama hanya akan menjadi kenangan.
Begitulah yang aku percaya. Aku tidak boleh lebih salah kerana hanya satu malam dan segalanya berubah. Aku berharap dia akan melupakan aku tetapi nampaknya itu adalah perkara terakhir yang dia lakukan.
Tidak kira apa, dia tidak boleh tahu kebenaran kerana dia hanya akan berakhir kecewa.
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About Author

Emma- Louise
Chapter 1
Maya
Saya sedang duduk di meja kerja saya, cuba menguruskan beban kerja yang bos saya letakkan pagi tadi. Saya terus mengingatkan diri saya bahawa saya hanya perlu bertahan untuk setahun lagi dan kemudian boleh tinggalkan tempat ini. Saya perlukan wang untuk kelas dalam talian saya. Saya telah berjaya bertahan selama dua tahun yang lalu; setahun lagi sepatutnya okay.
Saya sedang memasukkan maklumat dari kertas kerja ke dalam fail yang betul di komputer. Kadang-kadang saya rasa bos saya sengaja mengacau fail-fail ini hanya untuk buat saya marah.
"Maya, datang ke pejabat saya," Meredith memerintah.
Saya perlu tahan diri dari mengeluh. Saya faham dia adalah bos, tetapi tidak perlu untuk bersikap kasar dan jahat. Tidak hairanlah dia sering bertukar pekerja dengan cepat. Sepanjang masa saya di sini, saya telah melihat kira-kira sepuluh orang berhenti atau dipecat kerana perkara remeh. Saya telah berfikir tentang itu lebih dari sekali! Tepatnya, saya fikir tentang itu sekurang-kurangnya sekali sehari, kadang-kadang lebih.
"Ya, Meredith," saya berkata dengan manis.
Saya berharap saya mempunyai keberanian untuk melawan dia, tetapi saya tidak. Saya sukar menghadapi sebarang jenis konflik kerana saya dibesarkan dalam rumah tangga yang terabai dan kasar.
Saya menidurkan komputer saya dan menuju ke pejabatnya. Dia duduk di meja kerjanya, mengetuk-ngetuk jari di atas meja dengan tidak sabar. Dia berlagak seperti saya mengambil masa yang lama untuk datang. Saya datang sebaik sahaja dia memanggil.
"Apa yang awak perlukan, Meredith?" saya bertanya dengan lembut.
Dia tidak berkata apa-apa, tidak pada mulanya. Sebaliknya, dia memandang saya, hampir seperti dia sedang mengkaji saya. Ia membuatkan saya tidak selesa.
"Ya, awak sesuai," dia berkata.
"Untuk apa?" saya bertanya, keliru.
"Awak akan menghadiri majlis amal bertopeng hujung minggu ini menggantikan anak perempuan saya. Penting orang percaya dia ada di sana, tetapi dia kini berada di luar bandar. Awak mempunyai ketinggian yang sama dan warna rambut yang sama. Awak akan memakai topeng, jadi tiada siapa yang akan tahu perbezaannya."
'Luar bandar' adalah kod untuk pusat pemulihan. Anak perempuannya mengalami ketagihan. Dia keluar masuk pusat pemulihan sekurang-kurangnya tiga kali setahun.
"A-a-anda mahu saya pergi ke majlis itu?" saya tergagap.
Saya tidak pandai dalam acara sosial. Saya lebih suka bersendirian.
"Ya," dia menjawab, marah.
"Tak bolehkah awak cari orang lain? Saya tak pandai dalam acara sosial."
"Saya tak beri awak pilihan, Maya. Kalau awak tak pergi, tak payah datang kerja Isnin nanti, sesenang itu," dia mengherdik.
Saya tak mampu dipecat. Saya mengeluh, "Baiklah."
"Bagus. Awak akan tinggal lewat selepas syif awak kerana ada seseorang yang akan datang dengan gaun dan topeng untuk awak cuba. Jangan sesekali memalukan saya. Jangan tanggalkan topeng awak. Dan jangan risau tentang sesiapa yang mengenali awak kerana hanya nama anak perempuan saya yang akan ada di jemputan dan di tempat duduk awak. Saya sudah pastikan awak duduk dengan orang yang tidak pernah bertemu dengannya, orang yang bukan jenis suka berbual kosong. Bercakap bila ditanya dan tak lebih dari itu," dia berkata dengan tegas.
"Adakah saya perlu tinggal sepanjang malam?"
"Ya. Awak juga akan membuat sumbangan atas nama anak perempuan saya. Saya akan menulis cek untuk awak bawa."
"Baiklah."
"Kamu boleh pergi sekarang. Banyak kerja yang perlu kamu selesaikan."
Dia melambai tangan sebagai tanda suruh pergi. Aku tersenyum dan mengangguk, keluar dari pejabatnya. Aku tak percaya dia buat aku lakukan ini! Kegelisahan aku akan memuncak. Aku tak ada pilihan lain, sebab kalau aku dipecat, aku tak ada duit untuk sewa, bil, makanan dan kelas. Aku perlu cari cara untuk lalui semua ini. Cakap memang senang, tapi aku tak biasa minum alkohol. Ibu bapa aku buat aku serik dengan alkohol seumur hidup. Aku perlu buat pengecualian di acara itu sebab hanya itu cara untuk tenangkan saraf aku yang kacau.
Aku risau kalau ada orang perasan aku bukan siapa yang sepatutnya. Ini acara besar. Orang kaya dan terkenal akan hadir. Acara ini dianjurkan oleh keluarga yang memiliki syarikat ini, bersama banyak lagi. Aku tak boleh buat silap atau memalukan diri sendiri. Aku tak tahu kalau aku boleh bertahan sepanjang malam. Adakah Meredith benar-benar akan tahu kalau aku pulang awal? Sebaliknya, adakah aku mahu ambil risiko?
Aku mengeluh kecewa sambil duduk kembali di meja. Fikiran aku akan berkecamuk sepanjang hari. Kenapa dia tak boleh cari orang lain? Atau pergi sendiri menggantikan anak perempuannya? Kenapa mesti aku? Aku sebenarnya menanti-nantikan hujung minggu yang tenang sendirian, dan sekarang aku tak boleh buat begitu. Memang menyebalkan!
Sepuluh malam, dan aku baru sampai rumah! Sepatutnya aku dah sampai rumah empat jam yang lalu, tapi tidak! Meredith tinggal bersama aku untuk mencuba pakaian, kasut, dan topeng. Aku cuba lebih kurang enam setiap satu, tak ada satu pun yang dia suka. Dia habiskan kebanyakan malam mengkritik aku. Nasib baik, pakaian terakhir yang aku cuba dia suka.
Gaun itu cantik, bertali, panjang sederhana, warna perak dengan kasut dan topeng yang sepadan. Barang-barang itu aku tak mampu beli. Meredith akan hantar tiga orang ke rumah aku pada hari Sabtu untuk buat rambut dan solekan aku, dan orang yang buat itu perlu hantar gambar untuk kelulusannya. Mereka akan datang pukul dua belas! Acara itu tak mula sampai pukul lapan. Aku semakin risau, terutama sekali sebab akan ada orang asing di rumah aku.
Dia tak benarkan aku bawa barang-barang itu pulang. Dia akan simpan sampai malam Jumaat, barulah aku boleh bawa pulang. Aku hempaskan diri ke sofa, pegang bantal ke muka dan menjerit ke dalamnya. Aku betul-betul tertekan. Aku hanya mahu tidur, tapi aku perlu makan dan mandi dulu. Aku perlu berada di pejabat esok pukul lapan.
Aku mengeluh, bangun dari sofa dan pergi mandi. Aku tak percaya aku terlibat dalam omong kosong ini. Aku hidupkan air suam dan melangkah masuk, jatuh ke lantai. Aku bersandar ke dinding dan biarkan air suam mengalir ke atas aku. Aku rasa aku akan tinggal di sini sekejap dan hanya makan semangkuk bijirin. Itu cukup sampai esok.
Aku pejam mata dan biarkan diri menangis. Aku benci bila aku menangis, tapi ia buat aku rasa lebih baik. Aku akan berjaya lalui semua ini. Aku pernah lalui yang lebih teruk dalam hidup, tapi sekarang, yang aku boleh fikir cuma, siallah hidup aku!
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About Author

Emma- Louise
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