Chapter 93

ARTHUR

Even though I could sense that Doris wasn’t in the apartment, I immediately began to search, going from room to room.

I saw two of her suitcases in the smaller bedroom, and I immediately relaxed.

I whirled around and faced Jim, who was in the open doorway behind me.

“Where is she? When did she leave?”

“I don’t know. She must’ve left when I was on a bathroom break.”

There were a few dresses laid out on the bed as if she had tried on a few outfits and couldn’t decide on which one immediately. Now that I was pretty sure she was safe, I calmed down.

I walked back to the living room. Actually, staying in the showroom in this building was pretty smart. She didn’t have to pay for a taxi or a hotel; she wasn’t wandering the streets in the night upset and maybe not noticing her surroundings.

I looked at Jim. I could tell this was his idea.

The apartment was large and nicely decorated. It was a perfect place to stay.

“I guess this isn’t too bad."

Jim grinned.

“Doris was right here in the same building right underneath me all along.” Whereas perhaps I should’ve been angry, all I could do was laugh. “Clever,” I said to myself.

Jim and I both walked down to the lobby, and I bribed the other doorman to let me know when Doris returned.

Relief flooded me, and I called Ethan, the P.I., to let him know that I had found her.

“I knew you would. I’ll send you my bill in the morning.”

I couldn’t even be upset at that either. I checked my watch. The Arctic Avalanches should still be at practice. That’s where I’d go until I could see Doris again. I would watch the best and worst skaters on my team. While I watched them, I would come up with a plan.

DORIS

I stared at the record contract in front of me, unbelieving.

“This will change my whole life," I mumbled more to myself than to Mr. Owens.

“It will. And maybe your music will change a lot of lives. As I said, you should have an entertainment lawyer look it over before you sign it. The sooner it gets back to me, the better.”

I shook the record executive's hand and left feeling like I was floating on a cloud.

Automatically, I pulled out my phone to call Arthur and then remembered again that I was still mad at him.

The vision of him kissing Cathy flooded my mind, and like it had every time in the past few hours, my body warred with conflicting emotions.

It was hard. My brain alternated between the ecstatic joy of having a record contract in my hand and the devastating low of knowing that my romantic relationship might be over.

I knew I owed it to Arthur to at least break up with him face-to-face, but I didn’t want to see him yet.

I went to Central Park. I sat underneath the big boulder where Arthur and I had sat many times. The place where we asked Mia if she wanted to be a big sister, and she started jumping up and down with joy.

I put my face in my hands and let myself sob. Perhaps I never should’ve let the fantasy of such a perfect family and such a seemingly perfect guy give me hope.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, filling my cupped palms.

I cried and cried, silent, big, fat tears.

“There’s no use feeling sorry for yourself,” I said quietly. “You live in an exciting city full of possibilities. You still have the lease on your apartment. You’ve had a grand adventure.”

I stood up. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. Then, I brushed the back of my jeans to shake off the grass.

I would treat myself to a yummy fried cheese sandwich from my favorite deli, take my suitcases back to my old apartment, and explain briefly to Noah what happened.

I nodded. I would pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and get on with my life.

"Sounds like a plan."

ARTHUR

Howard, the doorman, texted me to tell me Doris had come back through the lobby.

I quickly finished my conversation with Pierre, who turned out to be an even better captain than I had anticipated.

My driver deftly negotiated the after-work rush-hour traffic. I burst through the lobby doors of my apartment building and took the stairs at a run.

Then I realized I had to go back and get the key for the model showroom from the doorman.

The second time I climbed the stairs I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I hadn’t come up with any grand plan. I simply would tell Doris the truth.

I knocked twice sharply and let myself in. Everything in the showroom apartment looked like it should, but Doris was gone. In the time it had taken me to finish my conversation, leave the ice-skating rink, and get across town during traffic, Doris had already left.

“Dammit,” I said, kicking the bottom of the couch.

Okay, where would she go? Probably to her old apartment to drop off her suitcases. Who knew where she would go after that.

I walked downstairs and battled traffic again.

I rang the doorbell to Doris’s apartment with my heart squeezed. What if she wouldn’t even hear out what I had to say?

I wasn’t surprised when Noah answered the door. I could see from his expression that Doris was there.

Noah’s lips rolled into one grim line, a moment of upsetting disapproval. Then he gave me a respectful nod and moved back so I could come in.

“I’m going to go downstairs to the Starbucks next door and have an extra large cup of coffee,” he said. Then he looked over his shoulders “Dor, I’m only a call away."

Then Noah shot me one last look. It was a cross between, ‘I trust you to fix this and not hurt her’, and ‘if you break her heart, expect me to punch you in the jaw’.

I waited until the door closed behind him.

“Little Dove? Sweetheart? At least come out and talk to me.”

Doris's mascara had streaked to leave raccoon streaks under her eyes. Her face was red like she had been crying.

“Oh, baby,” I said and opened my arms, but she didn’t come to me for a hug.

She crossed her arms under her breasts and made a "go ahead and explain yourself" expression.

“I’m guessing from your quick departure that you saw something that looked bad.”

The expression on her face sent a knife stab through my heart.

“It’s not what you think. Not even close. Let me explain.” And then I did. I told her everything, from how I was looking down about to text her hoping to have a little afternoon tryst, to Cathy throwing herself at me, to how I extricated myself as soon as possible.

Doris’s eyebrows went up first in surprise, then in doubt, and then with a hope that had my lungs feeling like they were in a vice.

“Little Dove, I’ve never given you a reason to doubt me, even with the strange way we started. Do you know what I stand for and what kind of man I am?” I waited, but she didn’t answer. “I hope you know how I feel about you.”

I opened my arms again, and while she didn’t come and hug me, she did take a few steps closer.

“So now I’m asking you something, sweetheart. I’ve never asked you for anything, but I’m asking you this, trust me. Please trust me. I know what it must’ve looked like, but I’m telling you with every ounce of my being, I don’t want anyone else but you.”

Doris burst into tears.

“Please come home, baby. I need you. Mia needs you. I love you, and I don’t want to be another day without you.”

Doris cried harder, huge sobs that shook her shoulders.

“Is that a yes? Do you need me to tell the story from the beginning again?”

Doris sniffed. “That’s a yes. I’ll return to the penthouse with you, and I don’t need you to tell me the story again. I got it the first time, and I believe you.”

Doris walked past me to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She gulped it down and refilled the glass.

Doris kept her back to me momentarily as if she needed a second to gather herself together.

Doris turned to face me and took a deep, calming breath. “I felt so unworthy. Like I would never be worthy of you.”

I started to contradict her, but she put up her hand in a universal sign for stop.

“I was devastated. What I had secretly feared might happen, that our relationship was going up in flames, might have finally come true.”

Again, I started to interject, but she firmly gave me a sign that I should wait until she was done.

“That’s why I left. Bob used me, tricked me, and had an affair. So yeah, this hit me in the self-esteem pretty hard.”

Doris took such a deep breath that she had to raise her arm slightly to let her lungs expand.

“I was crazy-level upset. But I calmed down and stopped. I thought for a minute. I remembered every moment we had together and how I felt a pull to you. I decided there had to be more to it than what I saw. I believed there was a reason, and I believed you didn’t do anything wrong.”

The tension I hadn’t realized I was holding in my shoulders relaxed.

“I’m not surprised that it wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry I had to run away. If you hadn’t come now, I would have come back to you for at least a chance to explain.”

This time, Doris walked to me, put her face on my chest, and her arms around my waist. I held her tightly.

"I knew you wouldn’t hurt me," she said softly.

I kissed the top of her head, the sides of her eyes, her cheeks, her mouth.

“Let’s go home, baby.”