Chapter 83

Renee’s POV

I poke my head through the bedroom door that was left slightly ajar before fully entering it. Seeing that it appears empty, I step inside and close the door behind me and twist the lock.

I flop down on the bed with a sigh and let the plush comforter envelope around me. Unfortunately the thousand-count threads do little to comfort me. I stare up at the wooden beams crossing the ceiling wondering when the last time they’ve been dusted.

The house is quiet which means Eric is out probably working. I just got back from dropping Debbie off at school, and then stopping for coffee, then gas, then taking the long way home.

I just can’t look at Eric right now when I’m feeling torn over my reaction to Jasper rejecting me. I shouldn’t care, but I think that I do. And if I do, what does that mean for my feelings for Eric? My stomach churns at the thought.

I glance at the small ___ clock on the dresser. It’s too early to be making myself sick over this, and I’m exhausted. I go back to thinking about dusting the wooden beams. My eye lids get heavy and my thoughts start to become abstract.

Maybe just a little nap would do me good.

My cell phone ringing tips through the silence. Ugh. I make a mental note to put it back on vibrate.

“Hello?” I answer without seeing who it is.

“Did I wake you? It’s 9:00 am,” Emily says on the other line.

“No, I was awake I was just about to take a nap,” I say trying to rid the grogginess from my voice.

“It’s 9:00 am” Emily repeats.

“I know what time it is,” I snap. “Sorry,” I add and sit myself up.

“Maybe you should go back to sleep, it sounds like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” Emily says and I murmur an agreement. She doesn’t know the half of it.

“What’s up?” I ask trying to move the conversation along so that I can get back to my rest. I yawn.

“I have some exciting news,” Emily tells me but she sounds nervous, almost like she doesn’t want to tell me. Curiosity replaces my sleepiness.

“You sound thrilled,” I say to her obvious lack of enthusiasm.

“I just don’t know how you’ll feel,” she says and I could have gathered as much. I’m up from the bed at this point, pacing back and fourth on the wooden floors.

“Just spit it out,” I say impatiently.

“Jasper asked me out,” she blurts and I pause. What?

“Jasper, like Eric’s brother?” I ask as if there’s another Jasper in the world that I know and would care about him asking Emily out.

“That’s the one,” Emily says nervously. “Are you okay?”

I roll my eyes at that cursed question. “What did you say?” I ask as though my answer to her question is dependent on her response.

“Well, I said yes,” Emily tells me.

The bike rises back up. “Em, I gotta go,” I tell her and throw my phone on the bed without being sure I ended the call. I run to the bathroom and let myself get sick.

What is going on with me? I bring a shaky hand to the cool noon of the profile toilet and flush.

I sink back and curl my knees into my chest. I think I love both Jasper and Eric, weather I want to or not. There must be something about screwing with a fated-mate bond that caused all of this.

I don’t know when Eric will be back, but I can’t let him find me like this.

I splash some cold water into my face, spray from lavender air freshener, and grab my keys.

Thirty minutes later I’m pulling up outside Jaspers office. I’ve given myself a pep talk on the way here and still clinging to that, I throw the car in park and cross the parking lot before I can talk myself out of it.

Through the hospital doors, Linda greets me from the front desk. “Good morning Renee! I didn’t know you’d be in today,” she says and checks her notebook. “I heard Debbie got some great news,” she says and I manage a smile, but don’t stop walking for the chitchat.

I come up to Eric’s office and see the door is closed. I know this means he’s with a patient. Uh oh. Which means, I’m forced to be alone out here with my thoughts.

I debate about knocking, just to let him know that someone is waiting. I raise my hand but can’t bring myself to do it. I always hated when someone knocked on the door while Debbie and I were in the middle of an appointment.

I always felt rushed, nothing that Jasper did to make us feel that way, just an internal pressure to hurry up. I don’t want to do that to whoever is inside.

I pace outside his room. Maybe he’ll notice the shadows of my footsteps from under the door.

I watch nurses and doctors crisscross the hallways with to-go coffee cups in hand. The aroma of coffee and polyester from the scrubs makes me dizzy.

Whoever is inside has been in there for awhile now and I mean, I’m a patient too. I’m sick, also. I need a doctor. Well, not just a doctor, I need to talk to Jasper.

I rap the door and instantly feel guilty. “Just a moment,” Jasper calls out in his usual friendly professional tone. I don’t reply.

Five minutes later the door opens and an old man on a walker fills the frame. He gives me a stink eye and I smile sheepishly. I’m definitely going to Hell For this.

“Renee,” Jasper says with surprise and concern. He holds the door open for me and I hurry inside, wanting to be away from the flare of the old man.

“Is Debbie okay?” Jasper asks.

“She’s fine,” I say breathlessly. “It’s me I’m worried about,” Jasper cocks an eyebrow.

“You?”

I bite my lip and nod. Then I open my mouth and let the words spill out of me. “I think I still have feelings for you, I didn’t know I did. But when you rejected me I started to feel sick and got all clammy. Then Emily calls me today and says you asked her out and I got nauseous again. And I’m so tired, like weakly tired. I think the love triangle is eating at my energy.”

Jasper stares at me unblinkingly. “Is that what was in my waste basket when I came back into my office?” He asks. I flush.

“Yes, sorry about that. What is that smell?” I ask practically gagging.

“Smell?” Jasper asks and sniffs the air.

“Yes, is that eggs?” I ask and cover my mouth with my hand. Jaspers eyes widen at me.

“I heated up my breakfast thirty minutes ago,” he says thoughtfully.

“You need to open a window,” I tell him and go stand near the big white window on the side of his office that overlooks the well maintained courtyard.

“So, let me get this straight. The past two mornings you got sick, you’re fatigue, and now you’re complaining about strong smells.” Jasper says and I nod.

“Yeah, I think something is messed up with my fated-mate bond. Like the rejection from you is somehow related to what I did with Eric years ago,”

Jasper laughs. “What’s so funny?” I ask, almost insulted.

Jasper leans against his plastic examination table. And crosses his ankles. “Well, I’m no woman but I am a doctor and to me it doesn’t sound like you’re love sick or experiencing any kind of fated-mate related illness,”

I square my stance. “Well, then what is it?”

Jasper smiles. “Renee, it sounds like you’re pregnant,”