Chapter 82

Renee’s POV

“Well, I’d say she’s nearly perfect,” Jasper exclaims removing his stethoscope from his hears.

I pull away my fingers away from my mouth. “Really?” I ask, almost in disbelief. I thought I’d never hear those words.

“Really,” Jasper says with a genuine smile. I let out a cry of joy. Debbie jumps down from the examining table and walks over to the full length mirror leaning against the wall in the corner of the all too familiar office of Jasper.

I suppose the office won’t be as familiar for much longer if what Jasper is saying is true, which is why I don’t understand why Debbie isn’t jumping up and down for joy.

Year after year we’ve come here and for the first several years it was through tears and pity parties about how Debbie will never get healed or be like her peers. Now, she’s being told she’s finally like the rest of her classmates in terms of health and here she stands, slouched over and not making a sound as she brings her little hand up to touch her reflection.

“Is it true?” Debbie asks and I can’t tell if she wants it to be or not. Jasper and I glance at one another. I shrug. Jasper takes a tentative step forward.

“Yeah, Deb’s. It is,” Jasper says still maintaining the cheer on his voice, just dialed down. Debbie turns around and I’m shocked to see tears brimming her eyes.

“This is good news, sweetie,” I try to explain as I kneel down next to her. Debbie quickly wipes a stray tear that’s rolled down her cheek. An arm extends onto my vision and I see it’s Jasper offering Debbie a tissue.

Debbie takes it, but keeps it bunched in her hand. “But I won’t see Jasper anymore,” Debbie whines. I pull back.

“Is that why you’re so upset?” Jasper asks surprised. Debbie nods weakly.

“No one else calls me Deb’s but you, so I won’t hear that anymore. I won’t be needing check ups if I’m healthy and my mom didn’t chose you as my dad so I won’t see you at our house,” Debbie says and my face flames. Jasper chuckles.

“But that doesn’t mean I won’t ever see you,” Jasper says and Debbie rolls her eyes.

“Oh please, you stopped coming over long ago,” Debbie snaps and once again I’m amazed by her sass. Jasper doesn’t respond, not right away. It’s true. Jasper hasn’t been over in awhile for obvious reasons.

“I promise we’ll still hang out,” Jasper says and looks at me nervously while Debbie still has her head hung low.i know he doesn’t want to give Debbie false hope.

I give a half shrug because I’m not she if Eric would like Jasper spending so much time with Debbie, especially not since Eric’s aware of Jaspers feelings for me.

Not to mention the fact that Jasper and I do have a past. Then again, Eric and I are taking things slow so doesn’t that mean I can make the decision of who I allow and don’t allow to see my daughter?

“Renee, can I talk to you for a minute outside?” Jasper asks.

“Uh, she. Yes of course,” I tell him. I put both my hands on Debbie and help her start up straight. “Why don’t you change out of your hospital gown and put you’re regular clothes back on. I’ll be right back,” Debbie nods.

This is not how I expected our six month post surgery check up appointment to go. Honestly I expected some bad news, not because I want they for Debbie but because that was always the result. I think that’s what Debbie expected too and she’s grown comfortable in being let down.

I hold back tears as Jasper and I step into the brightly lit hallway. Bright white lights reflect off white tiles and white paneled walls. The only warmth in this place radiates from the doctors and nurses which have become like family since Debbie and I first came here. I suppose, in my case they really are family.

Jasper waits for the wooden door to clock shut before he speaks. I notice the swell of his muscles as his shirt sleeved scrubs hugs his bicep. He’s been working out.

“I just want to apologize,” Jasper starts and I force my eyes off of his arms.

“About what?” I ask confused as to how this conversation is starting out. I thought we would be talking about Debbie.

Another young nurse walks by, clipboard in hand and smiles brightly at Jasper. He gives a friendly nod back. If I don’t know any better I would say she’s into Jasper. I look at his physique again and I can’t blame her. Jasper got hot.

He was always attractive but n a well kept and respectful kind of way, but whatever he’s been doing at the gym has been working for him. “For involving myself romantically with you,” he says bringing us back to the conversation and I have to gather myself.

“Oh,” I say. “That,” I wave him off, ready to dismiss the whole thing but Jasper doesn’t let it go.

“It was unprofessional and I knew you were fated with my half brother and I should have known better. Instead I’ve made a mess of things and even upset Debbie in the process,” Jasper says sounding guilty enough for the both of us.

He seems to forget that I also partook in our romantic rendezvous. I also don’t regret it, not like how he sounds. “I’ll deal with Debbie,” I tell him knowing that Debbie will be fine in two days.

“I just want you to know that I don’t have those feelings for you anymore,” Jasper says and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. “I love you as a friend, or I suppose a sister in law,” Jasper says with a half smile, but I can’t manage to return his jovial attitude.

Instead, I feel the need to explain to him that Eric and I are taking things slow, but I don’t.

I don’t need to complicate things any further. Just then bike runs up my throat.

“Are you okay?” Jasper asks taking a step back. “You look like you might be sick,”

My hands get clammy and I swallow down the bile; my throat burns.

“Yes,” I choke out. “I’m fine,” I tell him but am I really? Why am I having this visceral reaction to what he’s telling me?

Is Jasper rejecting me giving me a taste of my own medicine to what I did to Eric six years ago? I look at Jasper, his good looks turn my stomach and now I have a headache coming on.

Maybe I have feelings for Jasper and him rejecting me is causing this reaction. “I have to go,” I tell him and quickly hurry back inside his office and shut him out knowing damn well I just locked the man out of his own room. But I need a minute. How is this possible?

My brain races to answer the question. I guess when I broke things off with Eric our bond was only partially severed, considering he still had feelings for me. Then I went and dated Jasper and let myself grow feelings for him that seemed to have just been festering beneath the service.

Then I get back with Eric and our bond strengthens, but maybe I never truly got entirely over Jasper and now he’s rejecting me just like I rejected Eric. My head spins.

I find his small training near his desk and vomit.

A minute after I finish, Debbie steps out of Jasper’s personal bathroom in his office. Perk of being a regular patient, you don’t have to use the public restrooms. “Are you okay, mom?” .

I wish everyone would stop asking me that.