Chapter 64

Renee’s POV

It’s hours before we hear the click to the bedroom door unlock, though instead of racing to bolt out the door- we savor the next few minutes together in bed. The soft sheets are wrapped around our legs, the silk pillow cases are damp and stick to our hair.

My entire body feels like it’s vibrating and my skin is damp with sweat- some of it Eric’s and some of it mine.

I lay nuzzled in Eric’s arm, breathing in his scent. With his arm that’s hooked around me, his hand traces small circles on my shoulder sending small tingles throughout my body.

The reactive urge to say something along the line of this can never happen again periodically rises up, but ultimately I force myself to be quiet and continue riding out the moment.

The room is now dark, except for the moons glow evading the darkness. Beside me I feel Eric’s breath against my head, the warmth of his exhales breezing down my neck.

Eventually we fall asleep.

I wake up from the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. The room is lit with mornings fresh sunlight. I glance to my side and see Eric is no longer in bed. I think that maybe I dreamt the whole thing, but I know I didn’t.

It’s Saturday, Eric isn’t usually up this early. Maybe Eric’s realized he was right all along, that this was a mistake and he doesn’t want me. Just like from before.

I pull the comforter up even further to under my chin and curl onto my side. How could I have been so stupid? I let myself get caught up in the moment, at his words- words that he didn’t even mean.

Just like from before he would recite what I would want to hear and I’d fall for it time and time again. Now, he got what he wanted and that’s it. He’s gone.

Maybe that was his plan, to put me in his shoes from all those years ago. Now it’s my turn to see it from his perspective where he comes home only to find his wife running out the door.

I could lay here all day and have a pity party, but I should probably check on Debbie. I sit up in bed so fast that my head spins. Maybe he took her. Just like I did all those years ago.

I ran off with our daughter and now he’s doing the same. I throw the sheets off of myself and nearly fall getting out of bed.

The door gently opens and I catch myself on the dresser and find Eric standing in the doorway holding a tray of food.

Relief washes over me, but then immediately so does confusion. Eric stands gawking at me, his jaw slack and his eyes wide. It’s not like he hasn’t seen me naked before.

“What is it?” I ask, my voice hoarse. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink for the last several hours.

“Annie,” Eric says as though he’s seeing me for the first time. He sets the tray down and quickly approaches me, only to stop midway as I draw back.

I don’t like the way he’s looking at me.

I move past him and inspect myself in the mirror. The second my eyes fall on my reflection, I understand.

My wolf has entirely awoken. I didn’t see my body while I was laying in bed because I was wrapped up in the comforter, and then the thought that Debbie was gone blinded me, then when I was getting out of bed I was so lightheaded I got dizzy and couldn’t see straight.

Though looking at myself now, fully and clearly, I can see that my wolf is back.

I bring my hands, my paws, to my face and touch the soft golden fur that lines my jaw. I turn my head and see the point in my white ears. I could cry. I thought this part of me was gone forever.

Eric’s fingers wrap around my hip. “You look beautiful,” he says into my ear.

I let my eyes roam over my body and see that though my wolf has been formant for years, I still look as strong as ever, perhaps even better. This is the figure of a true Luna one that is shapely and elegant, strong and feminine.

I’ve never felt more confident in my wolf form as I do now. I meet Eric’s gaze in the mirror. His love brought this out.

“Where’s Debbie?” I ask, so overwhelmed with emotion, I need something else or someone else to think about.

“I dropped her off at a friends house, I figured we could use the time to talk,” Eric says as though what he’s saying doesn’t matter. He’s looking at me like I’m the most important thing going on right now.

“She didn’t. . . hear us,” I try to ask, referring to last night but can’t find the courage to finish the sentence. Luckily I don’t have to, Eric shakes his head.

“No,” He says, and then he laughs. “Actually, she still thinks we’re fighting. She said she heard us arguing and then silence. She thinks we tired ourselves out yelling at one another,”

While I don’t usually condone lying to my daughter, this fib I’m okay with.

“Annie, your wolf is back,” Eric says bringing us back to the elephant in the room, though he sounds like he still can’t believe it and honestly I’m not sure I do either.

I glance at myself in the mirror once more. This really is happening. Jasper’s words echo in my head. Can’t undo biology. I begin to wonder how much of this transformation is related to just a biological reaction and how much of it has to do with emotions and desires of the heart.

This transformation may mean nothing except that I’m a creature of my own biological makeup. Eric gently places a hand on my cheek to turn my face to look at him.

When I do, he lowers himself to the ground. “Annie,” He says. It takes me a second to realize what’s going on. He’s on one knee, his neck is exposed towards me- a sign of vulnerability.

He reaches into his pajama pant pockets and pulls out a simple black box. “This isn’t exactly how I pictured doing this,” He lets his eyes drag over me. “Then again, seeing you as your wolf is not how I picture it either- you are so much better than I could have imagined.”

“Eric,” I try to interject him, but it’s no use. He blurts out the question before I can stop him.

“Will you re-marry me?” He words crash over me like a wave hitting a sand castle. All my walls are let down, this fantasy that I have been living in that I am someone completely different. It’s too much at once.

I want to protect the fortress that I’ve spent years building. I want to know who I am as my wolf. I’m shaking my head before the words are verbalized.

Eric’s eyes shift from awe to hurt.

“No,” I tell him. I watch as my answer crushes him.