Chapter 62

Renee’s POV

“Did you ever call back that client?” Eric asks from the bathroom while brushing his teeth.

“Which one?” I reply as I shimmy into a pair of jeans that I refuse to admit are a tad too tight.

“Miller Inc,” Eric says and then I hear him spit in the sink and turn on the facet.

Crap. “I will tonight,” I say more-so to myself as a reminder.

Eric steps out of the bathroom, freshly shaven and dressed for work in cleanly pressed clothing. His appearance makes my heart skip a beat, but I play it off like it’s nothing.

“That’s a big client,” Eric starts and I shoot him a loon. He holds his palms up in defense. “Okay, okay” He digresses.

I reach for the claw clip and tie my hair up into a loose bun. Ever since Eric gave me his list of clients, over a hundred of them, I haven’t been needing to venture in to the city and pitching myself.

Part of me thinks him changing his business and giving me all his clients was all part of some grand plan to keep me home more, but even if it is- I don’t mind.

I get to spend more time with Debbie this way, and I’m not exhausting myself only catching glimpses of sleep on my train ride back home after a long day. Not to mention, the clients that I do have secured now are some of the biggest ones in the market- It be a waste of time trying to get more.

“What do you want for dinner?” I ask casually. Eric flashes me a smile from the mirror. Again, with my stupid heart.

“Whatever you make I’ll be happy with, always am.” Eric says and I hate the giddy smile that plays on my lips.

Since I’ve been home more, I’ve been able to cook more.

Debbie comes barreling through the door. “We’re going to be late!” She shouts.

“I’m coming,” I tell her, zipping up my soft pink jacket. I look at Debbie and pause for a second. She looks so much bigger than when she started kindergarten months ago. She’s going t be in first grade, but she seems like a second grader.

No longer is she hunched over and weighed down from the constant struggle to hold herself up right, her skin is more flush, her eyes aren’t sullen, but instead bright and full of life.

“What are you looking at?” Debbie asks patting herself down self-consciously.

“Nothing,” I tell her with a smile. “You just look great,” Debbie gives a twirl.

“I know,” She agrees and I laugh. I hope she never loses that confidence.

We all make our way downstairs and pull on our shoes and coats. “I’ll see you later tonight kiddo,” Eric says and rubs down Debbie’s head.

“Daddy! My hair!” She frets, quickly smoothing out the loose strands of hair that got tugged out of her braid. Eric looks at me and hesitates. I give him an awkward sideways hug.

“Be safe,” I say and quickly push Debbie and I out the door as my blood rushes into my ears. I never know how to say goodbye to Eric anymore. A simple good-bye seems to formal, but there’s no way we’re kissing good-bye, though that’s hwat it always feels like should happen.

I shake my head. We’ve just fallen into a good rhythm, that’s it. Nothing more. Eric finally came to terms that I needed something of my own, some independence, and he’s given it to me. All one-hundred clients, he’s given to me.

I don’t owe him anything. I’m making him dinner- that’s enough.

Finally, the winter has broken and bouts of spring pop up through the soil in an array of colored flowers and streaks of white sunlight push through cotton ball-like clouds.

In the car Debbie pulls out her math book and a pencil, though she tries to do it discretely, hiding her work behind a coloring book. I eye her through the rearview mirror.

“Did you not finish your homework,” I ask her my voice tight. Debbie sinks further down into her seat. “Debbie,” I order her to answer me.

“I was outside playing!” Debbie whines in her defense. I sigh.

It’s challenging to reprimand her for doing something children ought to be doing, especially since she never used to be able to run around outside during the spring. If she slipped on mud and fell, we’d be in the hospital that very night.

“You have to make time for both,” I tell her and she nods.

We drive the rest of the way in silence, but I can’t seem to shake this jittering feeling inside me. Ever since I saw Eric come out of the bathroom, my heart has been beating wild in my chest.

Maybe I’ve had too much coffee.

We pull up to the school and Debbie hurries to finish writing something before shoving her notebook in her bag. I debate about telling her to be more organized, but ultimately let it go. One thing at a time.

“Bye Mom!” She says and slams the door shut before I can even get a word out.

A memory of me helping her out of the car and up to the door flashes in my mind, bringing a tear to my eye. No one told me that with her improving health, I wouldn’t be as needed. I take a deep, shaky breath and grab my to-go mug filled with coffee.

I spill the contents out on the curb, the brown liquid splashing against the white concrete. I don’t know what’s up with today, but I just feel out of sorts.

I drive back home and along the way I attempt to make a plan of all that needs to get done.

Call back Miller Inc, update blog posts on the website for the latest Spring fashion details oh- I need to go to the grocery store and get asparagus. Eric will probably want it grilled. Do we have charcoal for the grill? Maybe Eric can grill it and Debbie and I can play outside.

I stop and think about Eric standing by the grill with his sleeves rolled up, maybe an apron on, the smoke clouding up around him.

Someone blares their horn instantly pulling me out of my thoughts. I realize I’ve been sitting at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green. I throw my hand up as a weak apology and embarrassingly continue on.

I try to get back to my list of things to get done, but I find myself more concerned that the weather will hold out so that my vision for tonight can come true.

I turn on the radio, maybe I just need to pull myself out of my thoughts. I flip to a station I like and try to let the music take over. I sign along, drum my hands against the steering wheel, and try way too hard to not think.

Then, the strangest thing happens. As I try to hit a high note, I almost howl. I slap my hand over my mouth. I think would have howled if I didn’t stop myself.

I haven’t howled in years. What howl would it be anyway? Would it be our pack howl? Would it just be a wolf sound. Where the hell was I going with that?

I whip out my phone and call Jasper. I need a doctor.

“Hey Renee,” Jasper says. He’s the only one who still calls me that. Somehow, I think it comforts him.

“Jasper,” I say shakily.

“What’s wrong?” He asks instantly concerned.

“I’m fine,” I say quickly. “I just,” I begin but then don’t know how to finish. It feels ridiculous saying what I’m about to say.

“What is it?” Jasper asks again. I open my mouth then close it. I start again.

“I just almost howled,” I say so quietly that I’m almost certain Jasper didn’t hear me, especially because there’s a long pause on the end of the line.

“How is Debbie?” He asks, suddenly sounding a thousand miles away. I frown at his seemingly random question.

“Uh, she’s fine, great actually,” I tell him. Jasper makes a sound like he’s thinking about something.

“That makes sense then,” He tells me, but I’m still confused.

“What makes sense,” I say and bring the phone closer to my ear.

“If Debbie’s health is improving, and you and Eric are co-existing peacefully- it’s only natural that your wolf would be reawakening since your family unit is back together and thriving,” Jasper says in his doctor tone.

I think about what he’s telling me and part of it makes complete sense, but part of it doesn’t. I’ve worked so hard to cut off all my wolf ties, years of training, and distance from Eric that I was positive my wolf was dead.

As though reading my thoughts Jasper replies, “You can’t undo biology,”