Chapter 53

Renee’s POV

It’s been a couple of weeks living at Eric’s, and while it hasn’t been horrible it also hasn’t exactly been home either.

We mostly keep out of each others way, only talking if it involves Debbie. It’s weird, it’s like five years of me being Renne hasn’t happened and we’re hitting play on our old life picking up where we left off. Except now we have a kid, but the distance and tension is still all the same.

The only indication that I ever lived as someone else is when Eric occasionally messes up and begins to call me Renee before correcting himself.

Though when he calls me Annie, I get the urge to correct him and say my name is Renee. I haven’t really had time to process another metaphorical death of myself.

“Oh! Can I get this one?” Debbie yells from down the aisle holding up a giant stuffed animal.

I release the tag of the overly priced lamp that I was mindlessly inspecting.

“Uh,” I begin to answer Debbie but Eric steps from around the corner.

“They also have this one, did you see it?” Eric holds up an even bigger stuffed unicorn and Debbie’s eyes widen as she drops the pink teddy bear from her hand.

We’re out redoing Debbie’s room, finally. She loves the entire house ever square inch of it from the botanical garden to the indoor spa, everything except her room. It’s too baby-ish she said.

So, here we are at the third department store of the day finding the perfect decorations for her. I would’ve stopped us at one store, but Eric insists on taking her wherever she wants. I can’t tell if he’s really doing it for her, or for himself.

Even now as his lips spread into a goofy grin at the sight of his daughter reaching out the item in his hand, something inside me stirs.

It’s obvious to anyone looking that he’s cherishing every moment with her.

“Where did you find this?” Debbie demands to know.

“This way, I’ll show you,” Eric tells her happily and together they run off to the other end of the store.

“What a good dad,” I hear someone say. I’m pulled from my thoughts and notice an elderly woman leaning on a cane and staring lovingly at the now empty space where Eric and Debbie were.

“Yeah,” I agree honestly. “He’s the best,” I tell her and as I say it, I realize maybe I was in the wrong to withhold his daughter from him. He clearly loves her with more love than I ever thought he had in him.

My heart throbs. I excuse myself from the woman and step outside the department store. I need some fresh air, an I doubt they’ll notice I’m gone.

There’s a slight drizzle outside so while not exactly a breath of fresh air, the wetness splashing against my face is a good wake up call. This is Eric. The same one who forced me to fly across the country with him to some random clients house all because he didn’t want me to have dinner with someone. He’s controlling and arrogant, I have no reason to be feeling bad for him.

Except I do.

With a grunt I dig into my purse and pull out my phone. I find Emily’s contact and call her. I need some girl time. I need to get away.

By the time we get home the drizzle has become a downpour and we are thoroughly soaked.

We hurry inside, and Debbie shakes her body as though her fur got wet despite the fact that she isn’t transformed.

“I’m going to take my stuff up stairs and start decorating!” Debbie says and yanks the two heavy plastic bags toward the direction of the stairs. The trail lazily behind her, still Debbie presses onward.

“Those bags are heavy,” I mention to Eric. “Don’t you want to carry them for her?” The question seems to go right over his head.

“Why? Look how strong she is. She’s got it,”

I roll my eyes and slip out of my wet shoes. “I’m going to go get changed,” I tell Eric so that he doesn’t follow me upstairs.

“I’m not sure if you have any clothes left, everything is still in the wash,” Eric mentions.

One thing I still haven’t gotten around to doing is bringing all my clothes from my apartment over. Part of me is still holding onto the idea that maybe I’ll be able to go back. But with these small comments Eric makes it known that won’t be happening and it’s in my best interest to move all my stuff over or risk having no dry clothes.

“I’ll pick something out of the wardrobe that has all my old things,” the words spill from my mouth before I have a chance to reel them back in.

Eric has since put a lock on the wardrobe before he moved us back in. I suspect to keep me from knowing what’s in there for whatever reason. Maybe he doesn’t want me to know he’s kept all my old clothes for so long.

Maybe the same way I hope I’ll go back to my apartment, Eric keeping my clothes was his way of hoping I’d return. And now I have.

“How do you know about those?” Eric asks the suspicion thick in his tone. I try to relax my muscles before turning around and facing Eric.

“I just figured that’s what’s in the wardrobe that used to be mine,” I say as casually as I can. Eric raises an eyebrow at me.

“Have you been in here without me before?” His question is so direct, I’m not prepared for it.

“No,” I answer quickly. Technically I have been only for a little, but then he stumbled home drunk.

“You were there that night,” he says. His eyes brimming with clarity.

He’s talking about the night we kissed.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I tell him and turn back out the front door instead of going upstairs. “I’m meeting Emily. I’ll be home later,” I say and can’t get out of the house quickly enough.

I meet Emily at a small café not too far away. I’m shaking as I come into the coffee shop.

I pass my jitters up as a result of the cold rain.

I order a green tea at the counter, I don’t think caffeine would do me any good right now.

I take a seat by the window and watch as Emily hurries from her red car to the shop. She tugs on the hood of her ten colored rain coat. The door slam shuts behind her from a gust of wind, the little bell chimes abruptly at her entrance.

I wave her over. She smiles when she seems me and for a moment I’m pulled back to the orphanage. She has the same child-like smile and gorgeous long dark hair.

A few people turn to look at her as she strides across the black and white tiles floor with her arms out stretched in my direction.

She’s used to the stares and double-looks. She gets them all the time. She’s beautiful, but more so it’s how she carries herself.

I’ve modeled my Renee personality a lot after her, she’s completely different than timid Annie.

“It’s so good to see you,” she says and wraps me in a hug. Our wet clothes squish together, but despite the cold water, I still feel the warmth of her love radiating from her.

“You too,” I say and blink away tears.

She takes the seat across from me without ordering. “How are you?” She asks.

I laugh. It’s such a simple question, but one I find impossible to answer. Emily nods sympathetically.

“At least you don’t have to worry about in-laws or explaining this to parents,” Emily says so nonchalantly its like the tragedy of that reality is nonexistent.

“If that’s the only silver lining, I’m screwed,” I say. Emily shrugs.

“Hey we’ve gotten you out before, we can do it again,” Emily says and I pause. The silence stretches a beat too long. She raises an eyebrow at me. “Unless, you don’t want out?” She says.

I bite my lip nervously. “I don’t know,” I admit. Emily leans back in her seat, her arms crossed, and her mouth agape in shock.

“Annie, are you falling for him again?” She asks.

I struggle to meet her eye. “I might be,”