Chapter 44

Renee’s POV

I almost slam the door shut behind me forgetting that Debbie is asleep upstairs. I shut the door slowly and quietly, but my insides are screaming at me and my breathe is at a rapid fire.

Unable to remain still, I stride across the foyer and take the stairs two at a time to my bedroom.

I quickly strip out of my black clothing and throw on my pjs. Now it’s like I never left.

Except that I did and everything is hitting me at once. Having committed a crime, kissing Eric, stealing a letter made out to me from years ago, kissing Eric!

My body is still shaking. I don’t even know what I’m feeling, I’ve never had all these emotions happening inside me before. Exhilaration. Fear. Disbelief at what I just did. Pride at what I just did because aside from grabbing the letter, I also secured my notes.

As I bolted out of Eric’s bedroom I stopped in the office and rifled through the desk, my notes were jammed between two trashy clothing catalogue magazines. A place Eric would never look. Seeing where Mia gets her inspiration from it’s no wonder she stole my designs.

“Okay,” I sigh under my breath. First things first, I need to check on Debbie.

I tiptoe down the dimmed hallway and peer through the cracked opening of the door. She’s a asleep. She lays on her back, her lips slightly parted, and her arms up as though surrendered to sleep. She looks so peaceful, my own body yearning for that kind of contentment, but that won’t happen until I read this note.

I go back into my room and lock the door, just in case Debbie awakens from her deep sleep and comes in. She’ll wonder why the door is locked considering I’ve never done that before but I’ll deal with that if it happens.

I go to my bed and rip the letter open. Then I squeeze my eyes shut. I need to get a hold of myself. Eric should not have this much influence over me. I broke those ties years ago. I have to remember this letter is to Annie, not to Renee. Annie is dead. Something click for me in that moment. Annie is dead.

I slowly open my eyes and the thin piece of paper suddenly becomes heavy in my hands.

I drop it and look at it laying on my bed, fully aware that this note doesn’t belong here.

If I truly believe and want Annie to remain dead then I can’t read this letter. Reading this is only digging up her grave, rehashing the past, and it won’t change the current moment- it’ll only deepen my confused emotions towards Eric. Do I want that? I know I don’t before I even finish asking the question.

I look at the letter for what it is. Evidence. It’s evidence that I broke into someone’s house, even if it used to be mine; that was another life. This note not only connects me to a crime, but if Eric finds out I have it then it’s proof I am his ex-wife.

I swallow a lump in my throat. I acted so stupid.

Though it might be too late to return the note, because there’s no way I’m breaking and entering twice, it’s not too late to prevent further complicating things.

I pick up the letter and before I can think of anything else, I rip it. The sound of its tear is soft because the paper is old, but it’s deafening. This feels wrong, probably because it is but I can’t stop now. I keep going. I rip it again, and again until all that remains are fragments of shredded paper with smeared ink.

I collect the pieces and throw them in the trash.

Exhaustion hits me, replacing every other emotion I had just felt. I crawl under the covers and pull them up over my shoulder and try to shut out every thought screaming at me.

With morning comes a partial sense of refreshment with a lingering side effect of guilt hangover. Though my sleep was deep, I still feel tired. I groggily reach over my bed to turn off my alarm clock. I also my hand down in my phone and what comes next is a the sound of something slapping the floor. My files.

I almost forgot that was the entire reason I snuck into Eric’s last night. The letter consumed so much of my attention that the fact that I can prove my innocence didn’t even phase me. It was like it didn’t even matter.

I throw the sheets off of me and crouch down next to the bed collecting my papers. Today is the day I prove to everyone at Blue Moon Group that I’m not some cheap liar who copies other people. Especially from Mia.

Motivated with a new sense of determination, I get ready for the day.

I dress in my best lilac pencil skirt paired with a navy sweater that makes my eyes pop. Today I make a statement.

I drop Debbie off at kindergarten. She skips in through the front doors and I hold my head high and pretend not to notice the jealous stares from other mothers dropping their kids off and the double-looks from their husbands.

I know I look good and I feel good. This is like when I renewed my identity and became Renee, it’s like no one can touch me.

I stop to get a coffee before going into work which causes me to be late, but it doesn’t matter. Not when what’s about to happen is about to take place.

I push open the glass doors to the board room where the winter line design meeting is taking place. Heads whip towards me to see the commotion. I stride into the room, the sunlight from the windows shining right on me.

“You’re late,” Mia points out like I should be ashamed, entering the room in a breathless panic scrambling to play catch up. I pause at the front of the room.

“I thought you wouldn’t be part of this design line anymore, considering …” trails off. I take a sip of my coffee and hold up my file in my hand. I watch with joy as the color drains from Mia’s face.

“Considering what? That Mia stole my designs?” I ask and show the folder to everyone in the room. I put my coffee down and then spread open the file, displaying my original drawings, notes, dates, and details of each design.

The room falls quiet. People look between me and Mia.

“Is this true?” Asks. Miss eyes go wild, she’s desperate for an out but there isn’t one. Sure she knows I had to break into her house to get them, but that doesn’t change she pathetically stole from me. She doesn’t care about the legalities of the situation, she cares about her reputation.

Mia quickly stands from her seat. “You all believe her over me? Do you know who I am?” Mia cries out and it’s hard not to laugh. No one answers. Mia shrieks and storms out of the room.

A couple people murmur apologies to me, probably embarrassed by how easily they were swayed by Mia.

I shrug them off. They’re apologies are a mile wide but an inch deep.

Calls the meeting. She says she has much to discuss with Eric.

Considering all what’s happened today, and that the winter line is being put on hold I don’t have much work to do. Especially since all I did was work when everyone else was scrambling to figure out what happened with Mr. Arrington. If anything I’m ahead and everyone else is behind and I can only do so much until others catch up.

I decide to take a personal day. I’m sure Eric will understand.

I’m going to pick up Debbie and we’re going to the park. No, maybe the carnival. Whatever she wants.

I get in my car, turn the radio up and sing all the way to Debbie’s school. Man it feels good to finally be out from underneath someone’s power.

I can’t wait to see the look on Debbie’s face when she finds out she’s getting done school early. She’s going to be so excited. When was the last time we had just a girls day? I can’t even remember.

I get pages in through the doors and walk down the small hallway to Debbie’s kindergarten . The door outside the room is decorated with children arts and crafts. It’s precious.

I spot Debbie’s, a drawing of me and her l. She’s playing soccer and I have a drawing pad in my hands. I may be biased but hers is definitely the most advanced. It’s nice knowing she got at least one thing from me, her artistic ability.

I knock on the door and Mrs. Hazel greets me with a bit of a confused look. I know that face. It was the same face she made when Eric picked up Debbie from school. My heart drops.

“Where is she?” I ask.