Chapter 15

Renee’s POV

Eric and Debbie assume their positions on the field. Eric is offense and Debbie is center, the only position in soccer other than goalkeeper that requires the least amount of running. For the sake of her health, I’m grateful for this.

I’m also grateful for the opportunity to stand back on the sidelines and just watch. Without Eric at my side, I feel like I can take a deep breath.

The ref gets ready to blow his whistle and Debbie gets a nervous look on her face, I try to signal to her to just have fun but it’s Eric she’s looking at. He throws her a thumbs-up sign and Debbie’s face relaxes.

The ref blows his whistle and the games begin. Just about instantly Eric commands the field. The soccer ball is being passed his way every chance a player gets. He interweaves through the opposing teams and is quick on his feet.

I find myself staring at him. A lot. And I let myself. For the first time since he’s been back in my life, I get to watch him and scrutinize him and not the other way around.

Then I’m hit with a sense of Deja vu. Watching him now reminds me of when I used to watch him from afar long ago. Long before he was very proposed to me. Back when I had a secret crush on him, everything about him would mesmerize me. The way he moves, the way he’s built. It tugged at my heart.

Some hushed whispers and giggles pull me out of my trance. I look around me and it’s obvious I’m not the only one enamored by Eric, and based on the way the ladies to my left are fanning themselves I would say it’s not just his soccer skill they’re impressed with.

Just then a couple of them turn to me and shoot me a dirty look. I quickly turn away wondering how they knew I was looking at them except that’s when I see Eric running across the field and pointing at me. Why is he pointing at me? It’s then I realize the game is over.

Debbie and Eric have won the game. A few other girls and boys Debbie’s age come up and give their congratulations, I’ve never seen Debbie smile so big. When she sees me coming toward her she runs up and grabs my hand. “Did you see me, mommy? Did you see?”

“Yes,” I lie, but I can’t tell her I was watching Eric the whole time. “You did great,”

“They want to get our picture!” Debbie tells me excitedly. I look over and see the ref with a camera slung around his neck.

“We take photos of all the winners every year to commemorate the event,” he explains. Debbie spins out from under me and pushes me next to Eric and plants herself right in front of us. I’m about to wiggle my way out and stand next to Debbie when I feel a tight grip around my waist.

“Don’t move,” Eric whispers coldly in my ear. I freeze, this is the voice I remember from five years ago.

The ref snaps the photo before I can even plaster on a fake smile. Debbie turns around, her smile growing ever bigger. “That was so much fun!” She says brushing her sweaty hair out of her face. “Let’s go on more rides,” Debbie says pulling both of our hands and dragging us behind her.

While I love my daughter and her happiness, I just want this day to end.

We make our way to just about every ride in this amusement park. We’re coming up on our tenth one when Debbie faces Eric and me.

“You sit here,” Debbie says pointing to the seat up front. Eric nods in agreement. “And when we go downhill you raise your arms up and scream, okay? You have to scream” Debbie tells him like the quality of this day is contingent on this one action.

“I will scream,” Eric confirms with just as much seriousness as Debbie. Sure enough, when the tip of the cart begins its descent, Eric raises his arms in the air and lets out a sound somewhere between a scream and a cheer. I stifle a laugh. I’ve never seen this side of Eric, the side that’s trying to let go. We step off the carts and somehow Debbie is still bouncing off the walls asking to go on again.

“I’m going to sit this one out,” I say, needing a break. I expect Eric to say the same thing as shuts his eyes and he rubs his temples. I brace myself for his attitude.

“I’ll go with you,” he says instead and I shake my head. Did I just hear him correctly? He clearly looks like he’s had his brain rattled around enough for one day and he’s agreeing to go on again, for the third time.

He’s never been so patient with me. Not when I was Annie and not at the company. Maybe if he ever showed me some patience we could be this happy family now. Of course, he has his own happy family now with Mia and Nilo.

Even if Eric did a paternity test and found out Debbie was his, I’d still fight for custody. She’s my daughter, I’ve been the one who’d always been there for her. Not him.

“Last time,” I tell Debbie. Not just for Eric’s sake, but mine. He can’t waltz into someone’s life and insert himself as a father just because he ruined that opportunity long ago, even if he really is the father.

By the time we leave the amusement park, the day is nearly done. We walk across the parking lot, the sun setting behind us. I’m going to sleep so well tonight, and I know Debbie is too.

“Before you head off, I have a final surprise,” Eric says. He tells us to follow him to his car. I eye him suspiciously, but he doesn’t notice.

We come up to a black four-wheel-drive, I’m pretty sure this model hasn’t even been released yet, and how Eric got it is beyond me. He taps something on his phone and his trunk pops open.

I cautiously approach, half expecting there to be something from my old life that Eric is going to use to somehow prove that I am who he thinks I am.

Eric turns around and leans into the trunk, his broad body shielding Debbie from seeing what he’s getting.

She stands on her tippy toes and tries to look over her shoulder, seconds bursting away with anticipation. I hear the striking of a match and I pull Debbie back. If Eric has figured out who I am, he has to hate me. The reaction, the headaches, the lie that I died. He might actually hurt us.

Then he turns around and yells, “Surprise!” Debbie’s face lights up with joy as she stares down at the huge birthday cake that Eric is holding in the palms of his hands. I stare at it with my mouth open. It’s probably the coolest birthday cake, ever.

It’s pink and in the shape of a rollercoaster with a tiny plastic toy princess seated on a cart made of frosting about to go down the hill. “How did you-?” I can’t finish the question and I shouldn’t even be surprised.

Eric being able to get a cake like this, even though Debbie told him about the plans today is nothing to him.

“Make a wish!” Eric tells Debbie, letting my unfinished question hang in the air.

“I wish I could spend all my birthdays with my mommy and daddy,” Debbie closes her eyes and blows out the candle. My heart drops as if it’s the thing on the rollercoaster cake and not the plastic princess.

“Unfortunately, Debbie, that can’t happen,” I tell her gently, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Eric isn’t really your father.”

“Yes, he is,” Debbie whines. “He told those other moms watching him play soccer that you were his wife!”