Chapter 87

Harper’s POV

An ache in my head pulls me from sleep, and it’s almost instantly soothed as Lucas’s scent fills my senses. His scent wraps around me like the warmth of the blankets, and I have to resist lifting the blanket to my nose.

“You don’t like the way he smells, Harper,” I mutter to myself as I stretch and sit up. The room is still dim, the only light being the soft golden sunlight coming in through the window.

As I look around, I find myself alone, which is different than when I fell asleep. Lucas was sitting just inside the bedroom door, leaning against the wall, as I fell asleep last night. He didn’t say anything after I showered, just sat there and kept guard.

Whether he was keeping me in or keeping others from entering, I’m not sure. Either way, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I don’t want to go back to the cells, but I also don’t want to be confined to his bedroom.

Sighing, I flop onto my back and stare at the ceiling. My thoughts are a messy tangle of emotions—anger, worry, fear, appreciation, and curiosity. I’m glad he came for me and saved me before the Domain could sell me, but part of me hates that I needed his help in the first place.

I don’t want to owe him anything after how he hurt me.

And yet, I can’t ignore the truth. The mate mark on my shoulder is reacting to his presence more than usual. It doesn’t hurt anymore; instead, there’s this warm, tingly feeling that has started radiating from it each time he comes near me.

What’s worse?

When he’s gone, I want him to come back to me. I want him near, and I can’t stand that.

“He betrayed you,” I mutter to my body, begging it to listen to me. “What if he does it again? He could change his mind, reject you, and throw you back to the wolves… literally.”

Of course, I can’t expect a response from myself, so I sit up and drag a hand through my hair. Irritation rises within me, fanning hotter as I think about how he’s trying to control me. I look around the room, my eyes landing on the door, and I bite my lip.

I’m not going to waste my time waiting for Lucas to come free me from my gilded cage, so I toss the covers off my body and climb out of the bed.

My stomach rumbles loudly, and I press a hand to it while walking over to the door. The knob is cold under my hand, but it gives no resistance when I turn it.

The door pops open, and I pause. He didn’t lock me in.

Quietly, I ease the door open and quickly dart toward the door that leads into the outer hallway. I glance at his living area as I pass through but see nothing of interest. He’s not here. Either he trusts me not to run, or he’s confident that I won’t get far… which, with my lack of wolf, would be true.

Even more irritated now, I try the next door. It opens like the last one, and I step easily into the quiet hallway. My stomach growls again, urging me to keep going. I tell myself that I’m not sneaking out. I’m just going to find breakfast.

If Lucas catches me, I can blame my escape on him.

Something I quickly realize I’ll have to do, because I’m not even to the end of the hallway before Lucas turns the corner. I nearly run into him but jump back with a gasp.

“You’re up,” he says, sounding surprised. I look down at his hands and the tray he’s carrying. A plate filled with eggs, toast, and fruit sits in the middle of the tray, and beside it, there’s a glass of something that looks like orange juice.

“And you’re… bringing me breakfast?” I ask, unsure. It could be his breakfast, but something in my hopes its for me.

Lucas smiles, “Yeah. Come back to the room.”

Any hope I had is instantly dashed away at his words. There’s no anger, frustration, or accusation in his tone, but it irritates me. Still, I find myself following him back to his room. It’s like my body follows him of its own accord, not caring that we’re supposed to be angry at him.

Stupid mate mark.

Lucas doesn’t mention my escape attempt as I follow him over to the table by the small kitchen. He sets the tray down on the table near the window just as my stomach rumbles. I don’t want to admit that I need Lucas, but my hunger wins, and I sit.

He takes the seat across from me, leans back in his chair, and watches me like he’s trying to figure something out. The curious and puzzled look on his face makes me shift in my chair as I begin to eat.

The mate bond pulls at me, making it incredibly difficult to not pay attention to Lucas, but I do my best to ignore him as he talks, mainly touching on the weather and random pack updates that I don’t need to know. I don’t say much, just make noncommittal hums when he pauses to see if I was listening.

Still, I notice how he watches me, how his gaze lingers. He tracks my every movement, his eyes falling to my lips every now and then. It takes everything in me to pretend I don’t notice, to pretend I’m not also feeling the bond humming between us.

When his hand shifts slightly, like he’s about to reach for me, I move my hand into my lap. Lucas’s jaw ticks, the muscle jumping as his eyes darken with regret.

“Harper…” Something crackles between us, and I hold my breath as he continues, “I regret not trusting you before. I was angry and stupid, and a fucking fool.”

I raise a brow at that, and he chuckles bitterly. “Yeah, I know. If I’d just stopped to think, I would’ve seen that you were innocent. I know you probably hate me and will never forgive me for what I’ve done, but I—”

He cuts himself off, lifts his eyes to mine, and genuinely says, “I’m sorry.”

I dig my fingers into my thighs. I would like to believe him. The sincerity and seriousness in his eyes tell me he really is regretful, and Goddess, I want to forgive him. But I don’t know if I’m ready yet.

The memories of stone-cold walls, metal bars, and fear is all too raw. I can still feel the pain from screaming to be released, the agony from being left alone, and the exhaustion from healing myself over and over.

My throat constricts and burns, almost like it did when I was shouting for someone who never came.

For him.

The ache in my chest tightens, and I push my chair back. “I can’t do this right now.”

And I can’t. There’s too much to think about, too many emotions to wade through, and too much risk.

Lucas stands as well, and again, he reaches out like he’s going to grab my hand. He hesitates, though, before dropping his hands to his side and nodding once. “I’ll give you space,” he promises. Then, he leaves. He walks out of the living room and then out of his apartment, leaving me alone.

The silence instantly weighs on me, and I should be happy. I should be glad he’s giving me space, and yet… a part of me wants to call him back.

And I hate that.