Chapter 105

Harper’s POV

Mason and Brandon wave from behind us as the car pulls away. The second SUV follows behind us with three of the warriors, while the fourth drives the SUV with me and Lucas in it.

I look down at the copy of the map that Lucas printed for me and follow the highlighted road with my eyes. Like Lucas explained before, we’ll head toward the human quarter where I used to live before turning off onto an old highway that cuts through the neutral land between our pack and anther pack.

My anxiety bubbles beneath my fake mask of calm. I don’t know if I should be hopeful about seeing this witch. Lucas claims that she’s powerful and that she’s restored wolf souls before, but as I sit here with Erie’s head in my lap, I feel nervous.

Lucas has explained the trip several times over the past two days, but something still bothers me. I’m not sure what it is, and every time I try to pinpoint the worry, it flees. It’s usually replaced by thoughts of Lucas and the conversation we had.

“I will wait,” he’d said.

Those three words have haunted me for two days, taking up my mind while I eat, sleep, and even while I exercise. I’ve been stuck on the same chapter in my book for days because of him. It’s incredibly irritating, yet at the same time, I like the fact that he’s willing to wait for me to come around.

The conviction and sincerity in Lucas’s voice when he tells me he’ll wait is real. He isn’t pressuring me to forgive him, isn’t pushing me to change my mind, isn’t trying to run from his mistakes… he simply admitted what he’d done was wrong and asked for forgiveness.

And I think I’m almost ready to give it to him.

After the betrayal and anger, and after leaving, I thought I wouldn’t have to see him again. Our mate bond was basically simplified to fraying threads when I left, but now… now it feels like a steady cord connecting the two of us together.

Brushing my fingers through Erie’s fur, I peek at Lucas who is talking with Ronan. I try to be sneaky with my perusal of the man who could end up being my mate for the rest of my life. Flashes of what our life could be like if I accepted him fill my mind.

Us eating on the couch while watching movies.

Us going for a run together once I get my wolf back.

Us going out on dates on quiet nights where the pack doesn’t need him to lead.

Us visiting the elderly pack members to make sure they’re comfortable.

Us playing with the new pups born into the pack.

Us hosting parties and celebrations with the entire pack.

Us traveling to other packs to offer healing or leadership advice.

Us forming a strong bond that was strengthened through rough times.

So many images move through my mind like a slideshow, and I can’t help but wonder what it would really be like to accept Lucas as my mate. Could our life be as sweet as those small stolen moments we shared before Logan ruined things?

Can I really let go of the anger and fear, and finally accept Lucas as my mate?

Again, I think I want to. Losing your mate, even from rejection, creates a hole inside that can never truly be filled again. I’ve already felt the unforgiving vacuum of pain that was created by the strained mate bond, but I can’t let myself fall into a painful mating just to avoid feeling alone.

Not that a mating with Lucas would be painful. Over the past week, he’s proven that he means what he says when he promised to wait for me.

Lucas keeps promising to protect me, to wait for me, and to help me. So far, he hasn’t broken any of those promises. In fact, he’s gone above and beyond to prove himself, and I almost feel freer now than I’ve felt in a while. For the Goddess’s sake, he’s even helping me get my wolf back like he said he would before he threw me in prison.

I look down at Erie to find her already looking down at me. I want to ask her if I was wrong, if shutting Lucas out so quickly was a mistake, but she wouldn’t be able to answer.

Sighing, I close my eyes and think it over. Shutting Lucas out seemed like the only option when he threw me into prison, even as I felt the need and desire to explain myself to him. I wanted him to know I was innocent… needed him to know.

That part of me has never changed.

And now that he knows, he’s treated me fairly and with respect.

If the tables were turned, would I have made the same decision? Would I have listened to Logan and put Lucas in prison?

The question rolls around in my mind, and the only answer I can come up with is, yes. I think I would have done the same thing, which means it’s not really fair for me to stay angry at Lucas for something that I, myself, would have probably done.

When I open my eyes, I find Lucas watching me. My head is on his shoulder, and my body has somehow drifted closer to him. It’s like there’s a magnet between us that pulls me toward him at every chance I’m not paying attention, and this time, I don’t pull away. I let myself lean on him and the comforting feeling that always emanates from him.

“What are you looking at?” I ask with a bit more snap in my tone than I mean to.

“We’re here,” Lucas says.

“What?”

I lift my head and look out the window at the dense forest surrounding us. It’s already darker outside, I note, and we haven’t even entered the forest yet.

“Those are the tallest trees I’ve ever seen,” I whisper, leaning past Lucas to get a better look. A sharp intake of breath has me looking back again, and I have to bite back the laugh when I see Lucas. He looks like one of those stress toys that have the eyes that pop out when you squeeze them.

His eyes bounce between my hand on his chest and my other hand that’s on his thigh. Most of my body is leaning over his, crossing into his space.

“Sorry. I was just looking,” I say, pulling back.

We climb out of the car in a semi-awkward silence before walking over to the other warriors who wait at the edge of the forest. They’re already on alert, scanning the area for any threats.

Ahead, all I can see are trees and darkness. It’s not even midday yet, but like Lucas said, the treetops blanket the forest and block out the light. Tiny gaps in the canopy let in bits of sunlight, but it’s just enough to be able to see as we begin to walk.

Lucas keeps a hand on my back to guide me. Erie trots at my side, her head swiveling this way and that when she hears something. I don’t hear anything, but I trust that she’s not distracted. Wolf hearing is more than four times better than ours… that is, unless you’re a werewolf.

“Stay close in case of rogues or other dangers,” he says, and I know by other dangers, he means the Domain. We haven’t heard anything from them since we escaped, but that doesn’t mean they’re not out there.

Again, I’m struck with how selfless Lucas is. My heart flutters at the idea of him protecting me. I should be all for girl power and protecting myself, but it’s nice to have someone who cares and thinks of your safety.

As we walk, and as Lucas helps me over a fallen tree, I think about letting our bond grow. I’m worried, yes, but Lucas is starting to ease those worries with each action he takes to help me.

No more holding back.