Chapter 65

Elena

Months had passed since I arrived in the Lycan realm.

I couldn’t imagine having ever been anywhere else, and even less could I imagine leaving. Slowly I have learned more about our people and customs and have shadowed the Queen in her ruling duties along the way.

It is so impressive to me that she rules alone, along with trusted aides and counselors, and that she never chose or was forced to marry again. A matriarchal society with a single Queen was so foreign an idea to me, since in the world I came from no one could assume power without a Mate.

“It is not exactly a custom among all Lycan tribes,” my mother explained to me, “but I was fortunate enough to have the support of my people, as well as their sympathy. Losing your father was a great loss to us all, and he has no replacement in this world.”

My father, I learned, was not Lycan. Their coupling and marriage was also somewhat radical, and it was exciting to be a part of such a badass bloodline.

“You look like him,” she said as I held a family portrait of the three of us. I was an infant, round and white like a puffy cloud. “You have my coloring, of course, a commonality among us. But you have his eyes, the way they crinkle when you smile. By the moon, Elena, it’s like having a piece of him with me when I look at you.”

Her hand went to her to dampen the sound of her sigh, still an elegant gesture even in her emotional state. In our time together I was starting to recognize her mannerisms, I was obsessed with watching my mother move and interact with others. She was like a chameleon among her people, shifting her aura to ease the situation and the people around her.

At that moment, she was just my mother. I stood and put my arms around her, and she reciprocated mindfully. We were both still new to this affection, but both committed to reconnecting in this way.

“I wish he was here,” I said into my mother’s warm bosom, tucking my chin and nuzzling into the folds of the scarf she wore. “I know wherever he is, he’s happy to see us back together.”

“Yes, my sweet girl,” she squeezed me tighter and planted a kiss on my forehead, “we must be grateful to the goddesses for uniting us again. It can be nothing but Fate, and we can only submit and surrender to the higher plans for us.”

I nodded but said nothing, my mind wandering away from this Fated moment and into another.

I miss Killian.

My wolf had been so energetic since I had come here, and some of the best explorations so far had been transforming and frolicking and hunting in the woods. I never understood my Lycan power, always following the werewolves I’d been around.

But my wolf was also lonely. And she was craving her Mate.

There were of course other young people in Lycan society who were more than intrigued by the appearance of the long-lost Princess. My mother nipped it in the bud, refusing to hold any sort of debutant ball to announce me to the public and to potential suitors.

And there were some attractive and charming individuals, and I entertained the idea of starting a new life. But whenever I tried to imagine even going for coffee with another person, all I could think of was Killian. I ached for him, and I wondered if I would be able to survive here without him.

“Fate can be so cruel, though, can’t it?” My question was rhetorical, and my mother sighed as she let go of our embrace. “It took me away from you, it led me to Killian and almost a child, and then it brought me back in time and back to you. What does it all mean?”

“We can never know, darling,” my mother said. I like that she was still trying out pet names for me, and I accepted every one. “All we get are forks in the road, opportunities seized or missed, and the realities that lie on the other side.”

“Must you always speak in riddles?”

She laughed, and I was a child again. It felt like nothing could go wrong while I was in her company.

“A mother’s wisdom is sacred, of course.”

She brushed my hair back off my shoulder, her favorite gesture of endearment. It made me stand up taller, breathing into my full chest, and I felt fully empowered to take on whatever other trials or tribulations Fate might throw my way.

“I do wish I could have a piece of Killian,” I said, finally out with the thought that was nagging me. “I had a hope that maybe our last time together, that I might…”

My mother took my hand, not needing me to finish the sentence.

“And I was thinking about what you said,” I continued, almost choking on the words. “You said there was another way?”

Three nights later, we were in the woods at midnight. I wore a billowing shift dress for comfort and ease during what was to come. Logically, I should have been afraid of what was about to happen.

All I felt was calm. The white fabric on my white skin made me glow like a beacon in the darkness.

My mother, Queen Lorena of the Lycan Realm, stood before me in a tall headdress and charcoal gown. She held a golden chalice in one hand and a golden-hilted hunting knife in the other.

There was no one else with us, though it was no secret that we were out there. The rest of the pack would be waiting for us, to celebrate our success or mourn with us our failure.

“We call up on the Goddess of the Moon, who goes by many names!”

The Queen’s voice produced a low rumble of an incantation, and I felt the leaves trembling in the trees. I had fasted for the last twenty-four hours, so my mind and body were on high alert for sudden changes around me.

“Selene, iNyanga, Myeongwol! Mother of night and provider of illumination in shadow, we call upon you here. We are your children, we are mothers, we are worshippers at your altar of wood and stone!”

Either I was woozy from hunger or the world was brighter around me. I looked up and saw the tree tops bending away from this circle we were in, opening up a large portal to the sky.

“We ask for you gifts, for your guidance, and to restore what was lost. Make rich the womb of this woman, your daughter!”

A nod from my mother, and she extended her hand toward me. The blade of the knife glinted in the light. I took it by the hilt, and with my other hand open I sliced carefully through the skin of my palm.

As the drops of blood beaded up, I squeezed my hand over the ground between us. It dripped slowly into the center of an elaborate symbol drawn in the dirt. I felt the earth vibrate under my bare feet.

The Queen reached to take the knife from me, replacing it with the chalice. I immediately smelled a pungent brew of herbs and something slightly acidic, but I didn’t want to think too hard about the ingredients. The wind rushed up as I took the cup, raising it to the sky.

And as I looked up, I saw her.

The Moon Goddess herself, sitting atop her orb, a bemused look on her face. She did not speak, but I understood her question. My eyes burned from looking upon her, a body hard to decipher but her face always clear.

I took a breath, grounding my toes into the earth beneath me.

“Mother, I am ready.”

I drank down the contents of the chalice, feeling both burning and a sweet sensation down my throat and somehow into my lungs as well as my stomach. That sweet burning radiated to the tips of my limbs and back again, settling at my center.

All of that energy was focused on my womb.

I dropped the cup as I gripped my abdomen, the feeling congealing and morphing and attaching itself to me. The light was brighter around me, a direct beam from above surrounded my body as I began to convulse.

I looked to my mother, and though her face was lined with tears she was completely still. She knew better than to interfere with whatever was happening to me.

My ears were muffling sounds, and my tongue was heavy in my mouth. I finally had to close my eyes as I collapsed to the ground, writing with what was a searing pain in my stomach.

What is lost, maybe be restored.

And suddenly, it was over.

The words had permeated me as I stood on the brink of passing out, and then I was a puddle of sweat and tears in the dirt of the dark, empty woods. My mother rushed over to me, the maternal instinct returning quickly.

“Elena!”

Her voice was high and strained as she helped me up from the ground. She looked me over for harm, but on the outside I looked unscathed. I knew, however, what was different.

I was pregnant.