Chapter 54
Elena
“Of course I will be there.”
It was the end of Natalie's first week home, and I was on the phone with her mother, Alice. She was updating me on the latest with her cancer treatment, and unfortunately she was not quiet out of the woods.
At her post-op check-in, they saw that they hadn’t been able to get it all. She would need to have chemotherapy, but the doctors were optimistic. They were even putting her on the lowest treatment plan, which I reminded her was a good sign.
“You don’t need to sit beside an old lady while she gets her drip and watches bad soap operas,” Alice said. “You have so many more important things to do.”
“You are important, Alice,” I told her, speaking honestly. In spite of our rocky past, I didn’t want her to suffer. “I will coordinate with Natalie, and maybe we can take shifts so you always have someone.”
“Oh, that would be nice,” a pang of sadness hit her voice, “please let me know if you talk to her.”
I paused, confused. Wasn’t I talking to Natalie’s mother?
“You haven’t talked to her?” I tried not to sound too freaked out.
“Not since the party,” she sighed, “though she did send a heart emoji in response to my text. It felt odd to right out a message about chemo, but she didn’t answer my phone call.”
Luckily we were on the phone now, and Alice couldn’t see the face I was making.
“She’s been so busy, as you know,” I couldn’t believe I was trying to cover for my nemesis, “but I’ll make sure she knows about your schedule. And I promise I will be there Tuesday,”
“Thank you, dear.”
“And if you need anything else before then, please let me know.”
“Oh hush, I may have cancer but I’m not an invalid!”
We shared a laugh that I didn’t know I needed, then ended our call. I kept myself in that small moment of joy for an extra few breaths, then pressed the phone to my forehead in dismay. The cool screen felt nice on my skin.
Someone knocked on my half-open door, and I looked up to see Killian in the doorway. He looked curious and concerned, so I must’ve looked terrible.
“Everything okay?”
I let out a huge sigh, surprised that I felt tears in my eyes. “No.”
Before the first drops finished their journey down my cheek Killian’s arms were around me. We were on the edge of my bed, rocking back and forth. I sobbed, an ugly guttural noise, for what felt like thirsty minutes but was probably only two. He didn’t say anything, just held me and stroked my air and let me get my emotions out.
“It’s Alice,” I told him, choosing to focus on her part of the story for now. “I know it’s a routine treatment, and she’s in such good hands, but still. She’s so alone.”
“She’s not alone, she has you and me, and Natalie of course.”
“Of course,” I said sarcastically. “It’ll be fine, I’m fine, I’m sorry it just felt really overwhelming for a minute.”
“I get it, and you do not have to apologize for your emotions,” he said gently, “especially not to me. I want them all.”
His held the side of my face, and I titled my head to let it rest in his hand.
“Thank you,” I said. “It’s been a long week.”
His eyes twitched in pain, and I was almost happy to see it. It meant I wasn’t the only one having a hard time.
“We’ve had some unexpected…obstacles, I know,” he said, trying to stay tactful. “But we still have each other, and we can keep working on this new chapter of our marriage. Even if we had to cut short our honeymoon.”
He smiled, a small proposition as he reminded me of our night together a the inn. I felt flushed, and my eyes were drawn to the space just below his throat, the little hollow place that was both unassuming and incredibly intimate.
“That was a shame,” I said with a sly smile of my own.
“Well,” he said, leaning his body closer to me, “I’m to pick up where we left off, whenever you like.”
The magnetic force of our bond did the job for us, pulling our lips together in a delicate but passionate kiss. I was melting into him, into the bed, wanting the world to disappear even for just a few minutes.
His hands were behind my head, holding me up so he could prolong our kiss. My hands were on his chest, gripping his shirt and trying to get closer to his heart.
“Oh!”
We disconnected so quickly it was almost painful, like ripping off a bandaid.
Natalie stood in the doorway, looking embarrassed and half-covering her eyes with her hand.
“Natalie!” Killian said loudly, his lips red from contact with mine.
“I’m so sorry!” She said, an awkward laugh ringing out. “I was seeing what you were doing for dinner, both of you, of course, and I should’ve just…texted you or something, ohmygod I’m so sorry.”
She backed away and left, leaving the two of us stunned and frankly pissed that the moment had been ruined.
“Maybe I should,” Killian stood, running his hand over the back of his head, “I should leave you alone.”
I tried not to look hurt, and was surprised that I was hurt. My feelings for Killian still seemed to be out of my control. “Okay.”
I managed to consult with Natalie about her mother, and I came up with a plan so that we could each be there to support her when she needed it. She agreed to be there with me the first day, so we could both be clear on what the process would be like.
But on the morning of Alice’s first day of chemotherapy, Natalie was nowhere to be found. I searched the house in the morning, asked the staff to no avail, and filled her voicemail box with my incessant pleas for her to call me back.
Not wanting to be late, I had to go without her. I had arranged for a car to take us so I could sit with her in the back, thinking she might need help on the way home.
“Is Natalie going to meet us there?” Alice asked me when she saw I was alone on her doorstep.
I don’t know why I lied, but I couldn’t yet accept the truth. “Yes, I think so.”
Alice signed in and fortunately didn’t have to wait too long before she was taken to the chemo room. Other patients sat in reclining chairs, hooked up to IV drips, doing all sorts of different activities to pass the time. I had read somewhere that popsicles were a recommended treat to relieve swelling in the mouth, so I brought along a cooler and some novelty pops.
We chatted, read a magazine, and completed half a crossword puzzle. Alice kept looking at the clock and then the door, but after a while she gave up and closed her eyes to rest her head back. I didn’t have the heart to say anything about Natalie either way, so I just let it lay.
When I got home that afternoon, I was on a warpath. Luckily, it didn’t take long to reach the target of my wrath.
“Where the hell were you?”
My voice was harsh and spiteful, echoing off the mostly bare walls of Natalie’s new room. There were shopping bags on the floor by the closet.
“What do you mean?” She seemed genuinely confused, and looked at me like I had done something wrong. “I was out.”
“What about your mother?” I screamed at her. “It’s Tuesday, remember? We literally talked about this two days ago, we had a plan, and you just blew it off so you can go shopping?”
“Oh crap, I totally forgot,” Natalie said hesitantly.
“Bullshit!”
“Wow Elena, okay calm down,” Natalie said, hands in the air in defending herself, “I’ll be there next time, whatever. And honestly this trip was important, I was literally wearing the same three things for a week and I can only borrow so much.”
“How is that more important than your mother’s cancer treatment?” I spat in her face, closer than I ever wanted to be to her.
“Don’t tell me what is or is not important!” She wasn’t going to back down. “You don’t get to talk to me like that, not you who stole my life from me!”
“I didn’t—“
“Yes you did!”
She put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a small shove away from her.
“But it doesn’t even matter,” she said, smoothing herself, “pretty sure things will be back to normal around here.”
“What does that mean?”
“Oh, come on, Elena!” She said, mocking me. “You didn’t really think that Killian would say with you now that his real Luna has come back?”
“Killian won’t reject me, he told me. He doesn’t want you back.”
“Is that so? Then why did he give me this.”
She held out her wrist to show me a gold bracelet.
It was engraved with two words: My Mate.
