Chapter 24

Elena & Killian

Elena

The dream always started the same way.

I was on my knees in the dirt, my white dress stained with mud and tears, begging Killian not to reject me.

“I’m pregnant! Please! Our baby will die—”

But Killian just stared down at me with those cold black eyes.

“You’re lying,” he said, and I felt the mate bond starting to tear.

“Killian!” I screamed, reaching for him, but he was already turning away. Always turning away. In the distance, I could see Natalie’s silhouette standing like a goddess on top of a floating platform, silhouetted against the setting sun. Killian walked toward her without looking back. He just left me there, kneeling in the dirt.

The scene shifted, and suddenly I was choking. Inky black tendrils wrapped around my throat, squeezing until my vision began to fade. I clawed at them, trying desperately to break free, but it was no use. My strength was already fading. My baby was already dead. Thick, hot blood began to pour out from between my legs, staining the ground beneath me.

“Killian,” I gasped, reaching toward where he stood beside Natalie in the distance. They both stood on top of the platform now, towering above me, their forms nothing but black shadows now. “Please…”

But he wasn’t looking at me. He turned toward Natalie and cupped her face in his hands and kissed her like I wasn’t even there. Even as the life drained from my body, even as the baby slipped out of me before it had even had a chance to form a heartbeat, he only had eyes for her.

I was sinking into the blood now. So much blood, pooling all around me, my baby’s life force sucking me down into the abyss. Together. We would go together.

“Killian!” I tried to cry out, but no sound came. My throat was raw from the black tendrils, my body too weak to produce more than a whisper. He couldn’t hear me. Or maybe he just didn’t want to.

And then, just like it did every night, the dream began its cycle again. Me on my knees. The rejection. The choking. The blood. My baby. Over and over and fucking over, each loop growing more and more vivid than the last. I could smell the damp earth beneath me, taste the metallic tang of blood in my mouth, feel every blackened finger as it pressed into my windpipe.

And through it all, I called for him. The man who had once been my everything, my reason for breathing, my guiding light in the darkness. Even as he killed me, even as he chose her, some pathetic part of me still reached for him.

“Killian… Killian, please…”

But he never came. He was always walking away, always choosing Natalie, always leaving me to die alone in the dirt while they soared high above me.

The worst part was that even in death, even knowing what he’d done, my traitorous heart still wanted him. Still called his name desperately, hoping this time would be different. That this time he’d turn around. That this time he’d choose me.

He never did.

…

Killian

It was well past midnight as I sat in my study, staring at the same budget report I’d been trying to read for the past hour. The numbers blurred together, and none of it made sense. I couldn’t focus.

All I could think about was Elena.

The image of her exercising earlier wouldn’t leave my mind—her skin glistening with sweat, that tank top clinging to her curves, the way her body moved with surprising grace despite her obvious exhaustion. My body’s reaction had been immediate and embarrassing, like a lovesick young boy instead of a grown Alpha.

What had come over her? Why the sudden interest in self-improvement?

And what had come over me? Why was this change so godsdamned appealing to me?

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, willing the memory and my unbidden arousal away. This was Elena. My mate in name only, the woman I’d married out of duty. She shouldn’t have been hindering my work like this—she never had before.

And yet lately, everything about her fascinated me. Her newfound confidence, her sharp tongue, the fire in those unusual red eyes when she challenged me. Even her sudden interest in exercising felt like another piece of a puzzle I couldn’t quite solve.

Suddenly, a sound from down the hall made me freeze: something was whimpering softly. Or rather, someone.

Elena.

I was on my feet before I’d made the conscious decision to move, and followed the sound to its source. It was coming from Elena’s suite. Was she hurt? Had someone broken in?

I reached for her door handle, but before I could touch it, the door flung open from the inside. Elena stumbled out, her white hair wild around her face, eyes glazed over. Before I could react, she threw herself against my chest, her fingers clutching desperately at my shirt.

“Killian,” she sobbed, and the broken sound of my name on her lips made something crack inside my chest.

For a moment I just stood there frozen, my arms hovering out to the sides uncertainly. She was sleepwalking—that much was obvious from her unfocused gaze and the way she swayed on her feet. But the way she had spoken my name…

Finally, I carefully circled my arms around her. She was so small against me, and her whole body was trembling. When she sobbed openly into my shirt in her sleep, my eyes widened with realization.

Nightmares. That had to be the reason behind her recent… odd behavior. She must have been having nightmares and sleepwalking.

I recalled the night a few weeks ago, when this had all started—the day she had fainted in her bathroom. It didn’t seem as if she’d gotten injured during the fall, but if she had taken a bump to the head, then maybe it was causing her distress even in sleep. Or maybe her lack of sleep had caused the fainting spell to begin with.

Suddenly, everything made so much sense. She must have been unable to sleep properly for weeks now, and it was eating away at her sanity.

Sighing, I glanced over her head at the rumpled blankets on her bed. I could carry her back there, but… A small part of me wanted to bring her to my own room. It was embarrassing how the very thought made my heart stutter nervously in my chest.

Elena and I rarely shared a bed, especially lately. When she had first moved into the Alpha manor, I had given her her own suite so she could have a space all to herself. On the rare occasion we were intimate with each other, we usually parted ways after rather than sleeping together. We’d only shared a bed, my bed, a few times.

Then, with all of her past behavior… We hadn’t been intimate or shared a bed in weeks now.

“Maybe she’s lonely,” my wolf sighed. “Mates should sleep beside each other at night. It’s better for the bond.”

My wolf was right, even if I didn’t want to admit it. Sharing a bed felt… wrong, like something Elena and I were never meant to do, even before she suddenly decided she hated me. But if a lack of sleep and a strain on the mate bond was the reason behind her recent behavior, then maybe it was time.

Regardless, Elena clearly wasn’t going to wake up on her own, and leaving her alone in this state felt wrong on every level. So I bent and scooped her into my arms, surprised again by how light she was. Had she always been this small and frail?

She curled into my chest immediately, her sobs quieting to soft hiccups. “Don’t let go,” she mumbled against my neck. “If you let go, I’ll disappear...”

“I won’t let go,” I found myself promising as I carried her down the hall to my bedroom. “I won’t let go.”