Chapter 7 You Make Me Sin

LENA couldn't help but tear up when she opened Angel's sketch pad and saw her drawings. The drawing says everything about the little girl's sadness, confusion, and pain. Losing a father. Losing home. Seeing her mother suffer. The sudden change in her life.

Unable to sleep a wink, Lena rolled the blanket off her feet and got off the bed carefully. She kissed her daughter's forehead before she left the room, only wearing her night dress.

The hallway was quiet and dim-lit. She tiptoed her way downstairs when she saw a silhouette materializing in the dark. A man's back was on her. His broad shoulders, messy hair, and familiar figure made Lena's heart pound inside her chest.

Lucian was alone in the living area. In his right hand was a bottle of whiskey, half-empty.

The sudden change of her breathing was a reminder of how this man could affect her. She never felt so alive just by seeing someone before, and the thrilling feeling was too much to handle.

She turned to the kitchen, but halted when a voice reached her ear. A cold murmur that's enough to reach her ear and to inform her that he knows she's here.

"Can't sleep?"

Slowly, Lena turned. Lucian was now standing, staring at her in the dark. His eyes were slits and dark. His lips were wet and red.

Lena averted her gaze, unable to control the sensations inside her. "Not really..."

A soft but sarcastic chuckle escaped Lucian's lips. It was telling her that he didn't buy her reason.

"How fascinating it was that the woman I spent a hot and lustful night with not too long ago is now engaged to marry my father? The world could be so playful, huh?"

Lena panicked, looking around as she advanced towards him in reckless steps. "Lucian, you're drunk."

His brow shut up, and his lips finally showed the lopsided grin that looked so good on him. "Drunk? Not really. I'm just trying to figure out some things."

Lena took a deep sigh. "Don't mention the past anymore."

Lucian laughed again. This time, it sounded more dangerous and dark. "Ashamed that you slept with a college boy who turned out to be the only son of the old man you're going to marry next year?"

Lena was horrified as her heart skipped a beat in fear. Her lips quivered. "Lucian, please..."

"Please what? Hm?" He invaded Lena's personal space, looking down at her like he's staking a claim on her. "Please what, Magdalena?"

Her name escaped his lips like a natural word, and it made Lena's knees weak. She remembered that night. He didn't call her Maggie, or Lena. He called her Magdalena. Like he owns the right to call her by that name. Like it was both a curse and a prayer that could either save or put them in a very dangerous punishment.

"Tell me, Magdalena. What did my father offer you?"

Lena's lips trembled. The shorter the distance, the louder her heartbeat. He was so near and she could already smell the scent of whiskey and cigarettes.

The tension was too much. She felt like she'd pass out anytime.

"A...salvation."

His laughter was like a double edge knife that cuts not only her palm but her heart. Sinking into her skin like a poison. His laughter was meant to mock her reasons. Like he's telling her that she got everything wrong.

"Didn't you hear about my father's reputation?" His voice was spiteful. "You think he will save you?"

Lena forced a courage in her as she lifted her face to meet his blazing eyes, but guilt betrayed her. "I'm just doing what I must."

He inhaled sharply, teeth gritting in anger. "Is this what salvation looks like to you? Lying to yourself?"

Lena shook her head. "You don't understand..."

"I fcking understand everything, Magdalena. You are marrying my father because he got you out of prison. You are making yourself believe that he could really save you."

"L-Lucian..."

"You want me..." he whispered as he neared her more. Like a sin hard to ignore, he stood with all the power and danger. "You want me, Magdalena. You're just imprisoned by your promises to your wounded self."

"Stop..." Lena shut her eyes tight, not wanting to listen to him because it feels like she was listening to her inner self.

"Admit it, Magdalena. You were haunted by the memories of that night, right? You want me. Tell me, you want me..."

She looked up at him. Her eyes welled with tears. "Why are you talking like that?"

"Because you make me fcking insane!" He growled, eyes were lit by anger. "How dare you promise marriage to my father after you gave yourself to me?"

Lena sucked her breath, her heart clenching. "How dare you say that? It was just a one night stand, Lucian! Besides, you were the one who disappeared. You didn't show up again after that night like you were scared I'd chase you and leech you off. You didn't show up like you're disgusted by the fact that you slept with a prostitute!"

"I was grounded!" Lucian threw the bottle of whiskey on the carpeted floor. His expression was as dark as the night, as dangerous as the sea, and as scary as hell. "My manipulative father forbids me to go out after that night, Magdalena. I was grounded for so long. And when I went to that fcking club again, you weren't there."

Lena was shaken. "W-What? You...searched for me?"

Lucian's eyes softened as he slowly caressed her waist. "Of course, baby."

The loud beating of Lena's heart was almost close to screaming to the world about his feelings for this man standing in front of her.

He's forbidden. She knows that very well, so she took a step back, drawing a distance.

Lucian's eyes dropped to the floor, looking at the distance between them before he looked at her again with furrowed brows. "What are you doing?"

Lena swallowed hard. "It's all in the past now. We should forget about it-"

"Bullshit!"

A mouthful of air wasn't enough for Lena to recover from his angry remark.

"Forget about that night? You think I didn't try that? You think I didn't lay on the bed and try to forget the way I had you against the wall? The way I kissed you and you moaned my name? The way I fcking slid myself inside you like you are only for me? I fcking tried!"

Lena gripped the fabric of her night dress as she met his blazing eyes again. "Lucian, I have a daughter."

His jaw ticked. "The very reason why I haven't dragged you to my bed."

Lena's breath entangled as his words echoed in her head like a broken CD.

"I-I'm marrying your father."

A deafening silence conquered the then heavy atmosphere around them. Lena couldn't look into his eyes. She was scared he would find the answers in her eyes. It would make the situation more complicated.

His teeth gritted and his eyes darkened even more. He withdrew his step once. "Go back to your room, Magdalena. Before I forget your reasons."

Lena rushed back to her room and lay beside her daughter. Her heart pounding inside her chest as Lucian's words and gaze lingered.

She's breaking. Her self-preservation was collapsing again, and Lucian isn't helping. He was making it worse. He was making her dive into the fire of uncontrolled desire and reckless temptations. He was making her sin again.