Chapter 86

That following morning, I slowly got myself ready and headed toward the kitchen where I found Lily. The poor woman looked as though she had aged about ten years due to all the ongoing chaos. But the moment she saw me, she instantly perked up and practically rushed to my side.

“Oh my God, my dear,” she whispered. “How are you?”

What a loaded question that was...

With all that had gone on, I wasn’t entirely sure how to answer her. I merely shrugged my shoulders and shook my head in silence. For some reason, that seemed to have been enough for Lily. She didn’t push me for any further details and instead got to work, making us some tea.

I noticed a few of the staff members were trying to poke their heads in to catch a quick glimpse at me before scurrying off.

‘Well, obviously, some things haven’t changed around here,’ I thought.

“I thought that James said that the woman who looked like Evelyn was gone,” I said.

Lily nodded her head in confirmation. “Oh, yes. She’s long gone.”

“Then why is everyone still openly avoiding me like before?”

Lily handed me my tea and took a seat across from me. “To be honest, I think many of them are feeling a bit embarrassed. They’ve become aware of how poorly they treated you while that whole Evelyn thing was going on and they’re not sure how to go on working around you as they have before.”

Again, I lightly shook my head and tried to overlook the ordeal.

“How did you sleep, I’m afraid to tell you that you look terribly exhausted,” she stated with a wince.

I was able to recall nearly every part of last evening, which in itself was shocking all on its own. But the one that truly stuck with me was James—not my uncle kidnapping me and then holding me at gunpoint. Not the fact that he wanted me to forgo my marriage to James and switch to Michael.

‘All of that stuff would have been normal for me to be hung up on. But no.’

It was the way James spoke and treated me that actually set me off kilter. When it came time for us to go to bed, he’d softly pushed me to head to our bedroom while he chose to stay in one of the nearby guestrooms. He placed a chaste kiss on my head and gave me a saddened look.

“We’re going to talk tomorrow. Right now, I want you to rest.”

It wasn’t a rejection but it sure as hell felt like one. Was he having second thoughts about wanting us to still be together?

I tried to think beyond that idea and realize the delicateness of our situation. But sleep barely came.

If my mind wasn’t wandering toward James, then my thoughts had been consumed by the truth regarding my parent’s death. It all left me deeply hurt and disturbed.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat and turned my head to see James standing in the doorway, looking as tired as me. He gestured for me to follow him toward the library where we sat down.

“Mia, I...I don’t think I know where I should even begin,” he confessed. “I feel like I’ve been nothing but a failure and an ongoing disappointment that I know I don’t have a right to even ask for your forgiveness.”

“And here I thought you were the one disappointed in me,” I commented. James stared back at me in shock. “I thought it was the reason why you didn’t tell me about us being mates.”

He drew closer and reached out for me. He curled a finger under my chin and prompted me to look at him.

“I’m so sorry if I have ever given you that impression,” he said heavily. “I seriously believe that you think too highly of me at times. Believe me, Mia, I am no saint. I have flaws and issues just like everyone else. When I offered you that marriage proposal all those months ago, I will honestly admit that I was doing it for selfish reasons. I’d found my mate and there was not a chance in hell that I was going to risk losing you.”

My heart swelled with a feeling I never thought I would experience. An honest, true spark of joy. A flicker of hope. It was like finally opening up the windows and doors to an old room that had been left abandoned and forgotten.

I wanted to say ‘yes’. I wanted to allow us both to move on without any more second thoughts or doubts; however, there was still something crucial that needed to be addressed.

“What about Evelyn?” I questioned. “Weren’t you still in mourning during that time?”

A short pause passed between us before James decided to speak again.

“I want to tell you a secret,” he said. “Before Evelyn went missing, she was three months pregnant with our child.”

My eyes widened while my jaw went slack. This time it was me who was now stunned. “Oh my God, James—”

“No, no. Stop, wait! I didn’t tell you this to make you feel bad. Everything you’d said to me back at Emily’s place was right. I shouldn’t have tried to pursue a new relationship when I knew I wasn’t fully over what went on with Evelyn.”

“James, first of all, do not treat what went on with you and her as though it was nothing big. The two of you were married and were expecting to build a family together.”

“There is a part of me that will always care for her.”

I nodded my head and took his hand in my own. “And I am willing to accept that.”

“Mia, I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I know that something like that is going to come with time. But...would you be willing to give our relationship another chance?” he asked.

Based on the multiple looks of shock and pain that James gave me, there was so much that we still needed to be talked out.

“Okay...” I said. “But, based on everything that's happened, I may need for us to really take things slow.”

I watched the wave of relief fall over James’ face. He gave me a soft smile. “Going forward, I promise I will always be honest with you and tell you the truth no matter what,” he promised.

I knew, well enough, that there was no chance of us going back to the way that we originally were. But it was alright because we were on the mend.