Chapter 78

I was devastated. Numb. That mysterious magnetic pull that had been pulsing within my chest for weeks finally made sense. I never knew where it came from or why it was there, to begin with—had it actually been my wolf trying to reach out for James this whole time?

It perfectly explained why I always seemed to feel safe and protected whenever he and I were together. It explained why I would always try and seek him out and feel an immense loneliness whenever we were apart.

But now what? What was to happen to the feeling now that I pushed him out of my life? Would the pull fade away? Did I want it to?

‘No,’ I thought silently to myself. ‘I don’t want this feeling to go away.’

That imaginary cord that was tied around my heart provided the warmth and comfort that I’d been desperate for my whole life.

When I closed the door on James, it was as though I was the one trying to sever the tie between us. The feeling was enough to bring me to my knees.

In fact, I had to brace my arm on the wall in order to keep myself standing upright. But it wasn’t enough. I slowly began to slide down and bent my knees inward toward my chest.

As the tears proceeded to trail down my face, I fought to push all the mind-melting thoughts out of my head. Through my blurred vision, I saw Emily quickly dash over to me and attempt to pull me up.

“It’s going to be okay,” she hushed. “At least now you know the truth, right?”

I struggled to keep my cries and soft whimpers down to a minimum. It was true. At least now, I was fairly certain that there weren’t any more secrets between him and me at that point. For what that was worth...

Emily brought me back over to the couch and handed me a few tissues to dab my eyes. A humorless laugh slipped past my lips. “You would think I would be happy. Me, of all people, is meant to be mated to someone like James Derek,” I muttered.

Under any other circumstances, I probably would have been happy, knowing that I was truly meant to be the long-time love of my life. However, it all felt like a massive bout of deja vu when he first told me that he loved me.

But now, it was hitting me ten times more because it involved so much more than a matter of personal feelings—apparently, fate had decided to pair the two of us together. What baffled me all the more was that James knew we were mates all along, and purposely didn’t tell me.

Why? Was I really not good enough in his eyes? I honestly wondered if I would ever stop feeling so inadequate.

I pressed a hand to my chest and tried to stifle the pain that thrummed within me. I wished that my wolf was actively awake. In a time such as this, perhaps it would have offered some guidance as to how I was supposed to move forward.

Emily gently rubbed my shoulders as a means of helping me calm down. There was no doubt that she overheard everything that went on between James and me. “I feel terrible, Mia. I don’t know what I can do to help,” she said.

I gave a short laugh and leaned into her arm. “You’ve done so much for me just by letting me stay here,” I told her.

Suddenly, I felt her perk up and a wide smile started to spread across her face. Oh, boy. Something told me that Emily just got an idea in her head.

“I have an idea!” she announced. I suppressed a snort and gave her a look of interest. “You and I should go to the spa tomorrow! Think about it, it should help loosen you up and relieve a lot of the tension you’ve been keeping in your muscles lately.”

A day at the spa actually sounded nice. If it wasn’t able to help me relax, at the very least, it would give me a distraction from my life. I gave Emily a nod and she bounced with excitement.

...

The following day, Emily practically pulled me into the health spa like her life depended on it. The place was absolutely stunning and luxurious as one could imagine. I was pleasantly struck by a tranquil smell of lavender and mint.

Apparently, she had us booked for special massages, facials, pedicures and manicures.

Everything started off strong. The massage was pleasant and left me feeling relaxed. However, while in the midst of getting my nails done, I kept feeling an ongoing wave of melancholy. I was still numb but didn’t want to spoil the day she had planned for us.

For the sake of Emily, I did my best to lighten up. But between the two of us, I could tell that she was nervous for my well-being. Within the past two hours, I think she asked about how I was doing at least half a dozen times.

“Do you think your relationship with James is salvageable?”

“That’s what I’ve been wondering about most of the day, to be honest,” I responded. “I’m not sure how either one of us is able to move forward with these sorts of issues.”

“I know that you’re trying to put some distance between the two of you,” she started. “But I really think that you and him need to find some common ground again. You know I don’t think it’s healthy for your body to undergo so much stress and emotional pain when you’re this far along in your pregnancy.”

When Emily and I finished up our time at the spa, we made our way out to the car. Right as I reached for my phone, I felt someone bump into me. My footing faltered slightly and I struggled to gain my bearings.

“Oh! I’m sorry I wasn’t—”

“Mia?” a familiar voice spoke out.

I lifted my head to find Ben standing just a foot away with the same baffled look on his face. His features softened as a wide smile curved his mouth.

“Ben?” I felt myself lit up with excitement. “Oh my God! Hey!”

The two of us shared a brief laugh, having coincidentally run into each other for the second time.

“So, what brings you to this side of town?” I said half-jokingly.

Ben chuckled and held up a small stake of white envelopes. “I was heading toward the post office. Gran has me running errands for her while I’m off from classes for a bit.”

“Oh, I see,” I said. “I hope she’s doing well.”

Ben nodded his head and gradually let his eyes travel over me. “Mia, you really look beautiful. Did the two of you just come from the spa?”

I felt my face slightly flush as Emily and I nodded our heads. “Yeah, I actually feel a bit revitalized.”

“I’ve really been wanting to catch up, are you interested in meeting me for lunch tomorrow?” he asked.

I could sense Emily giving me a wary look from the side. I know she wanted me to take this time to really think over my relationship with James...However, I wanted this time for myself.

‘God knows James would have never allowed me to meet with Ben under normal circumstances,’ I thought.

“Yes, that would be nice,” I said to Ben. “I’ll meet you tomorrow.”