Chapter 61

Evelyn

Wanting to avoid Gregory and my mom, we sit in Sebastian’s car at the track. Though we spent the week in Hawaii wrapped in each other’s arms, everything feels like it’s such a higher stake.

“You think you can pack up quickly?” He asks quietly into my hair.

“Pack for what?”

“I want to go back to school.”

Sitting up, I stare at Sebastian. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

“What about the mess we left behind? Shouldn’t we try to talk to Gregory?”

Sebastian reaches out, pushing some hair out of my face as I quiver my lip. I don’t love this plan. In fact, I don’t even know if this is a good idea.

He sighs, shaking his head dejectedly. “I can’t, Princess. I really can’t face him again. Not now, anyway.”

“But my mom? The baby?”

“Then I’ll go back myself,” he deadpans.

“No, that’s not what I meant!” I rub my eyes as I fight to keep it together. “I’m allowed to be worried about her, Sebastian. She’s my mother.”

“I’m not talking to him again. I don’t want to spend one more night hiding under his roof, making him disappointed by living and breathing a life he doesn’t want!”

His eyes are already glistening. But he’s right. Gregory is strict. What chance does Sebastian have if he attempts to talk to his adoptive father like an adult?

My mind flashes back to Christmas Eve. The slap I never saw coming from my stepfather. The way Sebastian shut down. Hearing my love yell how he hates the man.

There’s no other choice. The best course of action is to give space to the businessman. And in truth, I know I’ll be safe as long as I’m with Sebastian.

So, I nod. “Okay,” I say. “You’re right. Let’s go back.”

Sebastian stares at me; for once, it’s not a hungry, sad set of eyes that I’ve grown accustomed to. This look is painful, and behind it, I see his appreciation for understanding where he is coming from.

He leans over, gently taking my face in his hands as he presses his lips to mine. I kiss him back with my own hand going to the back of his head.

Sebastian has been through everything imaginable. I wonder, as we hold each other again, does he know anything about his birth parents?

Or does he even care?

After midnight, we decide to return to the house and quickly pack and go. Mom went to bed. I can imagine Gregory hiding in his study or going to bed in a bad mood. I’m not sure. But as I get into my mom’s car to follow Sebastian home, I try not to overthink everything.

I just need to pack so we can escape. That’s what he needs. That’s what I have to do.

“Mom will understand,” I murmur to myself as we turn out of the parking lot.

At the house, we come in and quietly, quickly, and swiftly. I run to my room to get everything I’d brought home for break. I swipe my nightstand and hair supplies, skincare, clothes, and even my new helmet from Sebastian.

Most of the packing I do is on autopilot. I feel like I’m dissociating. It’s been many years since I’ve had this feeling. Even the pain from losing Ava for a while, worrying about hurting people and more, I haven’t gone back.

But now, it seems as though my mind has swung all the way to the other end of the pendulum.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

I do a quick recheck of my room before I grab my bags and head downstairs to meet with Sebastian. He’s already here, so I leave my mom’s car keys on the table, and we quietly leave for school.

After we’re on our way, I text Madelyn, so she knows we’re still alive. “I’m sorry for not saying goodbye, but this is what’s for the best. We’ll be okay, but the men need time apart. Going back to school. I love you.”

It’s still a week until classes start, but having Sebastian live off-campus it’s honestly for the best. Now, we can get back and get ourselves situated before the semester begins.

“You good?” Sebastian asks, not taking his eyes off the road.

I look up, startled. “Just telling my mom we’re okay and we’ll see her soon.”

He nods. “You didn’t tell her anything else?”

“Nope. I’m all in, Sebastian. I’m here for you and will be your anchor at any chance I get.”

No words are spoken in the dark, but Sebastian does move his hand to my lap where mine are placed. He finds one of them, squeezing tight, and I know he’s grateful that someone is on his side.

The rest of the drive is quiet, and I tell myself to stay awake. It’s not a long drive. But with the emotions so high, adrenaline, anxiety and a deep-seated worry for Sebastian, I must be crashing.

“You still offering that apartment?” Sebastian questions as we’re almost there.

“The one I’m not living in? Take it. Get away from William, the parties, and the stress.”

At a stop light, Sebastian leans over the seats and kisses me quickly, whispering his thanks in my ear.

We hold hands the remainder of the drive, making it back to the apartment complex with nearly no other cars on the road.

We unlock the apartment that Gregory gave me, still empty and void of life. “Good thing he already paid for the year,” I murmur.

There’s very little conversation as we get to work. Sebastian suggests we move him out now, hopefully avoiding William and any conversations that may take place. Together, we move out his bed, then grab anything of his.

“It’s not a ton,” he admits as we go back into his room. True, most of what liters the floor at this point is a couple odds and ends, books, and some empty water bottles. But there’s not much decorating to take down.

As he packs his room, he asks me to fetch some of his food stuff in cabinets, pots and pans, and other miscellaneous. I move quickly, still feeling like I’m not out of this dissociative state. But there’s not much to think about anyways.

It takes us about an hour, running back and forth as we just throw Sebastian’s belongings into the living room. We take the large pieces of furniture out, which is most of the living room. The TV, two couches, tables and lamps, all turning into a hodge-podge in his new living room.

“That everything?” I ask Sebastian when he comes out of his room with nothing but some socks and a textbook.

He nods. “Let’s get out here.” He leaves his key on the kitchen table for William to find and exits without a second thought.

It’s not until we’re putting the bed together that I finally see what time it is. We’ve been up most of the night, fighting the exhaustion and drooping eyes. But finally, around four in the morning, we crash into the bed.

Without changing or kissing each other goodnight, we fall asleep on top of the blankets together, Sebastian’s body buried against mine.

I dream of a simple time in life, not worrying about if anyone notices us talking together while walking to class. I see Sebastian continuing his racing career, my friendship blossoming with not just Ava but Olivia. The possibility of Sebastian and I running off to be together in a few years.

It’s a warm dream, like honey oozing out of the bottle and adding a sweetness to such a mundane life. But wouldn’t it be nice to have something boring to look forward to? Especially if it makes me happy?

I’m not sure that I’ll ever want to find out.