Chapter 60

Evelyn

Sebastian hasn’t come home. It’s been hours, and I’ve been waiting by the door for him to walk through.

My heart hasn’t calmed, my tears have lingered, and I’ve refused to speak to Gregory about anything, causing him to grow agitated with me.

“I don’t understand any of this!” He’d shouted after walking away from me, and I’m pretty sure he has remained locked in his office since.

My mom has been sitting with me for a bit.

“It’s just an argument,” she continues to try and assure me. “He’ll come home.”

“I’m not sure he will,” I tell her without taking my focus from the door.

“I didn’t realize you and Seb were so close, like actual siblings,” she whispers, moving a curl of hair behind my ear.

“You could say that.”

We sit again in silence for another ten minutes. I keep texting Sebastian to ask where he is, but I don’t get any response from him.

Other texts seem to be coming in, though, but I don’t understand what any of them are about.

“Your secrets will be changing everything.”

“Should have known better.”

“The higher you think you’ll climb, the harder you’ll fall.”

All different phone numbers send those texts, so I figure it’s just a shit prank gone wrong. “Eve, come on, you need to eat or do something.”

I still don’t look at my mom, but I hear the strain in her voice.

“Why does he treat Sebastian like he’s not worthy of anything?”

She creaks in her seat, but she takes her time before actually giving me some type of answer.

“We weren’t here while he raised his son.”

“His adopted son,” I correct.

“Adopted or by blood, there are over fifteen years that we don’t have knowledge of.”

That’s when I look at her. With tears still stinging my eyes and my heart wildly crashing inside of me, I sniffle at her. “You didn’t raise me like that.”

She shakes her head, her own face draining of color. “No. But I also didn’t have all the same resources Gregory has always had.”

“And that constitutes hitting his son? Whether he’s adopted or not?”

Madelyn sits up straighter. “I don’t know when he started doing that, baby.”

“It’s still assault!” I counter. “How can you possibly defend your husband when he abuses another person so often?”

She bites her lower lip as I wipe at my face with my sleeve, sniffing in again. “You and I may have struggled, Mom. But even with what happened at the hotel, we never fought like they did.”

I roll my eyes toward the ceiling as more tears form. “It’s so hard to look at Gregory now!”

She reaches out and touches my hand with hers. I immediately pull away. Is my mother actually defending her abusive husband right now?

“Baby—”

“You know he’s been short-tempered with him! You hear the way he talks down to him, belittling him and all he wants to do. Have you even seen Sebastian race?”

Madelyn gives me these sad eyes, and I instantly hear her response.

“I love you, Mom,” I tell her with a shake of my head. “And I know Sebastian really cares about you, too. But he has been through things we’ll never be told. Just like you said.”

“He may open up,” she counters.

“Like Gregory did with telling you he abuses his son?”

“I don’t know if he did!” her jaw snaps back at me, her eyebrows narrowing. “There is no information for me to go off of here. I don’t know who started what fight and who did what, when, and how!”

“Sebastian isn’t his blood,” I push on. “And he refuses to play the part of the perfect son.”

I shake my head again. “Sebastian loves racing. He’s so good at it. And every time they argue, it’s always about the exact same things. Racing, the family business, and Sebastian never being good enough to be his son.”

“How did you know that’s the actual conversation they had?”

I sniff a third time, looking back at the door. “Because I’ve heard them. I heard their entire fight on Christmas Eve. I heard Gregory slap his son. All because he doesn’t want to conform to his adopted legacy.”

“Eve. He’s nineteen. He can leave if he wants.”

Another eye roll from me. “But he won’t! I didn’t think Sebastian was good for weeks after we met! And then I find out what he grew up with in Gregory. What did he do to come off as a disappointment in that man’s eyes?”

Madelyn doesn’t respond. Her breathing hitches as I wait silently for her words to come, though they refuse to.

“He may be annoying sometimes, but Sebastian is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I can only imagine he worked his ass off to prove himself, but he probably always came up short. How would you feel if you weren’t enough for someone, let alone your own father?”

I snort out a laugh and shake my curls out, running my fingers through the hair with severe anxiety twitching in my fingers. “I don’t even think he knows his birth parents, Mom. That must be so painful.”

I feel so nauseous.

“You never really wanted to know your father,” Mom says quietly. I almost miss it. I look at her again, feeling the pain in my chest continue to constrict me.

“Because he left us. I have no desire to give a man who couldn’t stay any of my thoughts. You told me I’ve always been so strong and compassionate. Because I didn’t know what I was missing.”

I stare at my phone again, hoping to see Sebastian’s name appear on my screen. But there’s a saying about hope. It breeds eternal misery.

“I have to go find him.” Standing quickly, I move to the coats hanging up by the door.

“Honey—”

I turn back to her and immediately interrupt. “I’m sorry, Mom, I’m not wasting any more of my time.”

Her matching green eyes stare into me, and I just shake my head as she keeps watching.

“What are you so afraid of?” I question, begging to understand. “He’s a human, Mom.”

Looking behind her as if to confirm we are alone, she nods her head toward her set of keys.

“Make sure he’s okay. Maybe tell him not to come home right away. Just…watch out for your brother.”

I grab her and hug her tight, thankful for her understanding—albeit small. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, now hurry up, make sure he’s safe.”

I don’t hesitate to go, grabbing her keys and heading out.

There’s only one place I can think of that Sebastian might feel he can hide without fear, without being reminded of the pain he must be feeling.

It’s a short drive to Underground Raceways, and when I pull up, there’s only a handful of cars in the parking lot. I scan for Sebastian’s model, but the night sky makes it nearly impossible to see.

I get out of my mom’s car and rush to the entrance, hopeful that my gut instinct is correct.

Once I’m down at the tracks, I see him, sitting alone on a bench with his bouncing legs, watching the cars on the circuit whirl down the dirt path.

There’s no one else down here besides Sebastian and whomever is racing, and as I grow closer, I see a bottle of something in his hand.

I really hope that’s not alcohol.

“Sebastian?”

He’s surprised by my voice, jumping up from his seat and nearly losing his bottle from his grip.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been worried about you.”

“Pfftt, no you haven’t.”

I take the bottle of what I now know is Vodka and pull it from his hands. His breath reeks, but the bottle is still almost full.

“I love you, remember? In no universe could I have been ignorantly waiting for you to return home.”

I take his face in my hands, the taller man’s face clammy. I wonder how much he’s cried since he ran out.

“He’s horrid, Eve,” he whispers, which I nearly miss from the cars on the track. “I don’t…I never know…”

“I’m sorry,” I say as I stare into his teary blue eyes. This handsome man, who confidently told me to ditch my once boyfriend and sleep with him, is crumbling before me. I don’t value him less for feeling disheveled, for having a heart and never being given the proper love to show for it.

But it’s at this moment in time that I recognize how broken the man I love truly is. Because this has been going on for most of his life. And no one has ever been there for him.

“I’m here,” I tell him firmly. “I’m right here.”

He just sort of breaks after that, his entire face screwing up as though eating a lemon and leaning down against my shoulder to burst into a fresh set of tears.

I pull him down onto the bench, holding him as he allows himself to fall apart.

“I’m here, Sebastian. When you’re ready.”

I just hold him like that for a long time, and neither of us has to say a word as we do.

My heart just cries out for this man that I love and all the damage he’s been holding in.