Chapter 53

Sebastian

Gregory and I have not spoken since the first day of the year. That’s utterly fine with me because, finally, after all the planning and waiting, Evelyn and I are leaving New York and flying to Hawaii together.

The issue with that, however, is that I haven’t spoken to her, either.

Or Madelyn.

Or anyone, really.

The fight with my father has affected me much more than I care to admit to anyone, including Evelyn. I’m just so full of frustration and disgust.

Not to mention, I pushed Evelyn away after the argument. The only thing we’ve said to one another since that day was, “Excuse me,” after we nearly collided in the hallway.

I haven’t stopped thinking about our night together. The magic I felt through every cell in my body as we were tangled in the sheets and each other’s legs was a sensation I didn’t have the easiest time explaining.

I was bursting at the seams. Every single second has been burned into my brain like a brand, and I have no idea what to say to her.

“Flight 415, please report to your gate, last call for the gate for flight 415!”

I see Evelyn’s curls whip around to the sound of the announcement, then back down to her phone clutched in her hands. Her eyes tell me more than her face does, which I’m surprised by.

The weeks after meeting her, I couldn’t read most of the expressions she shared. It was all a guessing game.

Now I feel her next to me not only in nervousness but also in fear.

She wants me to be open with her.

I’m just too frustrated in general to have this conversation.

Which is ironic since we haven’t spoken since we had sex.

“You’re being so selfish right now.”

For a second, I wonder if I’m hearing things. Evelyn’s voice comes across deep but also flat. I raise an eyebrow and turn to face her.

Those green eyes bare into my chest like fire. I try to act like her words don’t bruise me.

“How’s that?” The words just slide out as I turn away to look around the airport.

“You’re a hypocrite.”

Icy cold words sting. I didn’t know Evelyn had the power to go from one extreme to the other with her attitude.

“Please tell me why.”

She scoffs, but I keep my eyes off of her.

“You used me, and now you think you can just get by without a word or even an apology?”

I watch an elderly couple walk slowly across the aisle. “What’s to apologize for? You wanted sex just as much as I did.”

I know this isn’t true. I know this isn’t right. And her backhand tells me that as it collides with my arm.

“You have got to be kidding me, you fucking dick.”

I don’t turn my head, but Evelyn grabs my jaw and turns my face in her direction.

“I know you and Gregory had an explosive argument. But you don’t get to do that to me, do you hear me, Sebastian?”

Her tears are welling up in her gemstone eyes. She grips my jaw slightly tighter, biting her lower lip as she lets the tears fall down her face.

“You don’t get to pretend that nothing has changed here.” Her voice cracks and even breaks between her words. She pulls her hand away but points a finger at me. “You were there. You were part of it.”

I feel a lump in my throat as her lower lip quivers.

“You can’t just talk to me like nothing happened.”

And now my stomach has dropped six feet under.

She shakes her head, pushing her hair out of her face. “If you’re really going to sit here and act as if you’re above me, then you better not get on this plane with me.”

Evelyn stands up and stomps away, covering her face as she goes off to the bathroom down the hall.

My phone starts to buzz in my pocket as I watch her go.

Is this all I’m good for? Breaking Evelyn’s heart?

The buzzing keeps going, and I grab the phone and stare at it.

Gregory.

I narrow my eyes. “In what world would I want to speak to you?” I hiss at the device. I ignore his call, throwing it down on my lap with a huff.

Call after call and text after text, I’ve left Gregory on silent. But is it right to do the same to Evelyn?

“Don’t you love her, jackass?” The question hurts, and my eyes follow where she ran off to.

As if speaking with another person, I shake my head. “Of course I do.”

“Isn’t that enough to be a man? To be honest?”

Is it, though?

I roll my eyes and look up at the airport’s ceiling. Maybe I need to ask myself more truthful questions.

I sit in the airport, zoning out as people continue to live all around me. Do I deserve to be here with Evelyn?

She finally comes back when the plane starts to board and refuses to make any eye contact with me.

Instead of expecting anything, I grab her carry-on, hand her ticket over, and let her lead the way for first-class boarding.

I don’t bother speaking or annoying her while we get to our seats. I add her bag to the top rack, closing the compartment as she settles in her seat.

I have to stop doing this.

My phone starts to buzz again, but it’s at this time I realize Evelyn’s is, too.

“I didn’t realize he was bringing you into this.”

Evelyn seems surprised at my words, and I gesture to her phone.

“Gregory?”

She looks at her device, then back at me. Shrugging, she sighs. “He hasn’t left me alone since your fight.”

I let my heart bleed all over the floor. “I didn’t know that.”

“Because you didn’t bother to talk with me.”

“I thought this was just between the two of us.”

“You opened yourself up to my involvement.” She crosses her arms as she glares at me. “What did you expect to happen, Sebastian? That we could share a night together and you could continue to treat me like I’m nothing.”

“You’re not nothing,” I try to assure her.

“Well, you have a funny way of showing it.”

I am a jackass. Evelyn’s absolutely right.

“Do you…regret sleeping with me?”

That’s not at all what I’m expecting her to say, and I immediately whip my head over to look at her so fast that I immediately groan from the pain I put in my neck.

“What?!”

“You slept with me, and then you didn’t speak to me. Almost like everything was my fault.”

“No!” It’s a bit too loud, but the people around us don’t seem to give a shit.

“Then what?” She pushes back. “I don’t understand anything that’s happened!”

“In no world would I conceive the idea of regret when it comes to sleeping with you.” I reach over and touch her hand in her lap, making her jump.

She looks out the window, biting at her lip again. “How am I supposed to know that?”

“I’ve wanted to be with you since the beginning, Princess. Since the very first moment I laid my eyes on you. You think I could regret anything when it comes to you?”

Returning her gaze to me, I see the damage I’ve done, and I instantly wish I could take every horrible thing I’ve said and done back.

Evelyn’s lip quivers, so I lean in closer. “I want you. I wanted you; I still want you, and I will continue to want you. Do you hear me?”

She sniffs as her tears finally break way; the damn destroyed. A slight shake of the head follows.

“How do I trust you? How can I trust that you’re telling the truth?”

Our lips touch as the sentence ends, my tongue slipping into her mouth just enough that she breathes out against my skin.

We pull apart as our noses touch, keeping her close to my face as I take her scent in.

“I’m sorry.” I emphasize it as heavily as possible. “And if I have to prove that to you every day from now on, then I will.”

“You can’t keep doing this to my heart.” I feel her tears slide down my own cheeks, and this is the moment I realize what I must do.

While we’re in Hawaii, in the alone time we deserve, I’m going to tell the truth.

I’m going to tell her that I love her.

After that, there’s no going back.