Chapter 49

Evelyn

With just a few days before the New Year, people are out and about in town. Ava’s already waiting when I arrive at Joe’s, seeing as I’ve been struggling to find parking.

I may live in New York now, but I still know very little about my new hometown.

The hostess smiles as I tell her I’m meeting a friend who’s inside, so she nods, and I head over to Ava.

Though I saw her only yesterday, it still feels like I haven’t seen her in forever. Her hair, still thick with curls, cascades around her shoulders.

She’s wearing a thick sweater and staring at her menu. I walk up to her, touching the table to get her attention without scaring her.

“Hi.”

Ava looks up at me with her light eyes, her makeup shimmering on her face. It’s like I barely know this person, when in reality, she might be one of the best friends I’ve ever made.

“Hi,” she repeats back, the two of us still just watching one another.

“Can I sit?” I know the answer, but I feel like I’m still invading her space.

“Yeah, please.”

So, I shimmy into the other side of the booth, shedding my coat and beanie from my head. I fluff the curls out, and then gently take the menu before me.

We order soda, burgers and fries, and then we’re left with no buffer between us. Just the conversation that we’ve been prolonging.

“You look good,” I start, genuinely wanting her to know I see her and understand the pain. “I really like your makeup.”

Her light skin tinges pink, clearly unexpecting the compliment. “Thanks,” she replies while darting her eyes down to the table. “New stuff for Christmas and all.”

“You’ll have to send me the names of everything. I’ve been meaning to try more in the makeup department.”

“You look good, too,” Ava reassures me. “I was glad to see you with Sebastian at the track yesterday. I know he lets the racing get to his head. Sometimes his need for an anchor outweighs the need for a friend.”

I squint a little, unsure what she means. “Sorry?”

Ava’s face twists a little, which seems to be in part due to needing to explain. “Sebastian’s good at getting lost in his anxiety on the course.”

“I’ve never seen him like that.”

“He’s gotten better at hiding it. But I’ve been to a lot of his races in the past. Trust me, when he’s scared, he can’t hide it.”

“But he still raced after Isabella and William interfered.”

She nods, rolling her eyes. “I shouldn’t have expected William to be a better person after what he did to you and to Sebastian. I hate that I went with them as if nothing happened.”

“It was great to see you there,” I assure her. “I could tell that you genuinely want him to be happy.”

“I do,” she responds.

“But you haven’t forgiven us.”

Ava sighs. “It’s not so black and white. I know in my heart what you told me is the truth. You’ve never given me a reason not to trust you after all. Always being your genuine, kind, and sweet Evelyn self.”

I bite my lower lip, trying to find the right words to use. “You thought we didn’t care about your feelings.”

“In retrospect, a bit selfish on my part. But at the same time, you were both lying for months on end about everything.”

“I swear, Ava, we slept together one time. I hadn’t known he was the son of my mom’s new fiancé. I hadn’t seen him before; I hadn’t even known his name when we met.”

“That’s what Sebastian insisted as well.”

A door opens in the conversation, and I lean forward. “So, you know, then. That we were complete strangers.”

“But why did you sleep with a stranger? It’s not that I’m slut shaming, but I don’t understand where the motive comes from.”

“My boyfriend cheated on me. Sebastian offered to bandage the wound. I wanted to stop feeling like shit and wanted to teach my boyfriend a lesson.”

Ava sits back and crosses her arms, seemingly digesting this information. She looks at me, then she looks around the bar and shakes her head.

“Did he tell you? That he spoke to me before Thanksgiving?”

“Yes,” I nod. “He told me when we were driving home.”

“Did he tell you what we spoke about?” She wonders, uncrossing her arms as she leans back against the booth.

Thinking for a moment, I try to recall the conversation in the car when he told me. “He just said that it didn’t go well, and that you were set in your ways. We didn’t talk about it again after that.”

“Well, that is true.”

“But I haven’t stopped feeling guilty,” I go on. “Look, Lucas was the worst boyfriend in the world. Sebastian has only wanted me to feel as though losing you wasn’t the end of the world. Except, for me, it kind of was.”

She huffs one laugh out. “That’s a little dramatic.”

“I have very few people in my life these days. I uprooted everything I knew, and I left Hawaii and came here to live this life I don’t understand even now.”

“And you and Sebastian just continue to pretend you don’t have feelings for one another around everyone you love?”

“I don’t even want these feelings. I was so determined to have a one night stand with this man and then leave him behind on my journey to New York. Instead, I end up in some bad fan-fiction trope where I’ve slept with my brother!”

“Stop-brother,” Ava reminds me.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me here and move on. That’s impractical, and also just foolish of me. But what I do want, what I’ve wanted for over a month now, is for you to understand how things got so fucked up.”

Our drinks are dropped off at the table, and we stay silent for a moment to keep our conversation from moving across the room. I grab my drink and take a sip. I realize that I don’t have a lot of fight left in me for this situation.

So, if Ava feels there’s nothing to solve or nothing to discuss, then I might have to walk away today with one less friend and struggle to keep my dignity in check.

Then, I hear Ava sigh once again. “Stop expecting me to fall to my knees to do anything for your praise because I don’t fucking care how you feel about me.”

I recoil. “What?” That’s absolutely not what I want her to think!

“That’s what I said to Sebastian when he pulled me out of my class the day before break. He wanted me to understand where he came from, and I…” Ava looks down at her lap again, seemingly unsure what to say next. Her face is pinker now, and as I watch her, I see tears slide down her face.

“Ava, I want you to hear me. I don’t see you as a stepping stone on a path. I don’t see you as some idiot who couldn’t see the truth. You’re the friend that I have treasured since getting to know you. That is how I always think of you.”

“And if I say I’m not yet ready to forgive either of you because I still feel as though I was used and manipulated into believing the truth you two created?”

I shrug, though it hurts to hear. “Then that’s what I’ll have to get through my thick skull.”

“You don’t hate me for telling you both all these…horrible things?” Ava asks, wiping another tear away as she turns and looks out around the bar. Clearly, she’s doing her best to remain distracted.

Maybe it’s so I don’t see her cry.

“You’re right. Your feelings are justified here, Ava. I never intended to hurt you through any of this, but I understand even more now just how much and why it hurt you.”

“I can keep your secret for you, Evelyn.” Her words hold such a massive weight I feel the wind knocked out of me almost immediately. “Seeing as you and Sebastian have made it clear the beginning was never in the plan, I can keep all of this to myself.”

“So, what’s the catch?” I ask, used to this by this point.

“No catch,” she insists, biting down on her straw. “But can I give you some advice that has nothing to do with you two ending whatever this is?”

“Yes,” I reply, nodding a little.

“I don’t know how long it’s going to be before you two are found out. I don’t mean this as an idle threat or promise. I mean this as someone who knows more than most people.”

“I know.” I have thought this through so many times at this point. “But we’re too far in with all of this. Even though I tried to deny anything that I felt for him, Sebastian Cain’s got my heart.”

“Then try to ieep a stronger eye out for anyone who may want to expose you. Isabella and William already have the idea planted in their heads now. Others might see you both and bring attention to it. You have to be careful.”

“I know,” I reply, nodding again. “I’m just trying to make everything perfect.”

The burgers are dropped off quickly, and we sit there still watching one another. The burgers remain unmoved, untouched, and uncommented on.

“Perfect is a social construct that we’ve grown attached to.”

I can’t help but crack a smile at Ava, who shyly gives one back as we settle in to eat our food.

Ava promises again that my secret is safe with her. But her words hold severe weight. What happens if we are found out? Who will be the villain? Who will be the hero?

And will my life ever be the same again if that’s the outcome?