Chapter 45

Evelyn

I sleep like shit. All I hear in my nightmares is Sebastian and his father screaming at one another, like they’re on fire and blaming the other for the flames.

I eventually give up trying to get any sleep. There’s no point, especially when my brain can’t stop swimming.

I want to talk to Madelyn because, in truth, I can’t believe Gregory did that to his son. All I wanted to ask Sebastian last night after he kicked me out was, “How often has he hit you?”

There’s nothing that can be done now, obviously, seeing as Sebastian’s nineteen. But is it assault?

“Please don’t argue with me.”

Those words bounce around the most. His vulnerable, weak tremble in that single sentence. It’s the first time I truly heard Sebastian speak like this.

I distract myself by watching videos on my phone, trying to keep everything inside my mind. When I finally told my mom about what happened back in Hawaii, I thought we’d all be okay. But instead, there’s a whole side to Gregory I never imagined.

He might not hit his wife. But hitting his son? I don’t know which would be worse.

“I need to tell her,” my brain insists. But it’s not my business. I wasn’t even supposed to be in the room when it happened.

Would Gregory believe me if I said I heard it from this room?

Something in my mind flips, and I look up Sebastian’s Formula One races. All of this time I’ve never thought to see just how good he is on the track.

I might as well see why Sebastian’s father hates his racing.

When the knocking sounds on my door, I know it’s Madelyn coming to get me up.

“Present time, Eve,” she calls joyously. “We’re making French toast and bacon, too!”

I sit up, sighing from the lack of sleep and exaggeration of my exhaustion. While part of me was truly excited for today, now I only feel fear.

“I’ll be right down,” I tell my mom.

“No need to change or anything, stay in your pj’s.”

“Alright.”

I hear how dead I sound in my throat, and I wonder if she can hear it too. All I care about, though, is making sure Sebastian is okay today.

We’re sitting around the tree only ten minutes later, Sebastian sitting beside me with seemingly no care if we’re touching shoulders.

He looks as shitty as I feel—bags under his eyes and tiny welts across his cheek. My mom either doesn’t notice or refuses to see them. I don’t think Gregory’s touched her, but it’s also not her place to tell him how to parent Sebastian.

Everyone goes around opening the gifts placed before them. We eat our breakfast as we go, having surface-level conversations on what gifts we like and where we got them. Madelyn hands me her gift, smiling so wide I’m afraid she’s going to crack.

“I found this for you, baby. I hope you have such an amazing time back in Hawaii, so I wanted to give you this.”

I open the long burgundy box with a small laugh at the contents. “A puka shell necklace,” I say, somewhat in disbelief she got me one.

“I know you had a bunch of the cheap, easily breakable ones. But I tracked down a shop that guarantees high-quality works.”

The necklace is quite beautiful, and I slowly pick it up out of the box, looking it over. It’s larger than most Puka shell necklaces.

They usually wear a little bit like a choker, but this one hangs down to my clavicle. I pull my thick curls out of the necklace and show it off. “Does it look nice?” I ask sheepishly.

Madelyn claps her hands. “Perfect!”

“Beautiful,” Sebastian whispers so only I can hear him.

“Now, even when you come back to New York, you’ll have a piece of Hawaii!” She seems so proud of herself. Maybe our conversation earlier this week really has impacted her more than I expected.

“Thanks, Mom,” I say, giving her a kind smile.

“Of course!”

Gregory’s gift is a pair of dress shoes I remember him mentioning to me a while back.

My mom’s gift is a collage of images of the two of us, before it morphs into the four of us. It was hard to find pictures, since there aren’t a lot in existence.

But I know it’s something she’ll love.

In addition to the necklace, Gregory gave me the newest phone on the market, saying he would have bought me a car but didn’t know what was appropriate and had been vetoed by Mom.

“Sebastian can take her anywhere she needs!” Madelyn replies, waving her hand in the air.

“She can’t rely on someone else forever,” he states.

“The only way she’s getting a car is if I’m there, too.”

Gregory kisses the top of her head. “Okay, honey.”

Besides the phone, he gives a gift card that he specifies is for our coffee shop on campus, a gift card for a spa day—which he’d given my mom, too—and a new purse.

“Your mother picked out the purse,” he admits. “I don’t know a bag from a pocketbook to a tote.”

The bag is beautiful. It’s a brand-new Kate Spade bag, and I know these go for hundreds of bucks. I usually purchase from clearance, but this is something else.

“This is too much,” I say, lifting my head to my stepfather.

He waves a hand off. “Oh, please, let me spoil my new daughter. I’ve never been given the chance to do so.”

I look back down at the red purse, gift cards, and phone, then back at him. Does he know I know he’s been abusing his son?

“Thank you,” I tell him instead, nodding.

Sebastian’s next to give me a gift, and I hold my breath as he hands me his purchase.

It’s a small box that he’s clearly decorated himself. It’s honestly sweet to see how he put effort into the decoration. I don’t even care what’s inside because my heart is pounding at the gesture.

But I do, knowing the room is watching me. Inside are a few things. First are two round trip tickets to and from Hawaii.

“Holy shit,” I whisper. I look at Sebastian. “You didn’t have to pay for our flight!”

He shrugs. “Merry Christmas, Evelyn.”

God, I want to kiss him.

“There’s something else,” he states, nodding to the box. Below the plane tickets are a few more tickets, this time for his F1 races in the cockpit.

“Hell yeah!” I cheer, laughing a bit. “Perfect.”

“I have one more thing that didn’t fit in the box,” he admits, reaching around the tree to a large box with my name on it.

Excited, I rip the paper off to find an F1 helmet. But the difference is the art that covers the entire thing.

Hawaiian flowers, some princess crowns, coffee cups, what looks like Lake Davey, his car, and more. It’s all memories of our time together, and I want to burst into tears by the kindness and thoughtfulness.

“Sebastian…” I can’t even speak.

Sebastian

The helmet took me two weeks to fully design and finish. At four this morning, I finally wrapped it up. I want her to have her own helmet when we go to the track together so she can start doing her own racing.

She doesn’t have to become a world-class champion like someone else in the family. But it’s more teasing that I can add.

“All our inside jokes and school adventures,” I explain, knowing Madelyn and Gregory will ask.”

“That’s so smart and thoughtful!” Madelyn coos. “How nice of you!”

Gregory says nothing, and I don’t look for any affirmative words.

“Well, I think this means you have to give me a gift now,” I tell a still-stunned Evelyn.

It takes her a minute to realize what I’ve said, blinking rapidly as she seemingly comes back to earth.

“Sorry,” she whispers.

“No rush, baby,” Madelyn tells her.

Evelyn reaches under the tree to grab what she got me. I have no clue what she may have found for me.

I’d already planned on getting those tickets, but the helmet was a last-minute purchase.

I know she’s questioning if her gift is good enough. In truth, the only thing I really want from her is to spend the night together once more.

Also to know if I’m crazy, because I still think I’m falling in love with her.

She hands me the box. “Hope you like it,” she says, her voice a bit warbly.

I wish she weren’t nervous. If we were alone, I’d take her cheek in my palm and hold her there, watching her green eyes and rustling her thick curls.

Instead, I look down and begin opening the rectangular object.

It seems that Evelyn and I are in a similar mindset regarding gifts today because as I pull off the paper, I start to laugh at the gift.

In a larger-than-average shadow box sits newspaper clippings and images of my racing life.

At some points, Evelyn has highlighted or reprinted a word in a larger font, decorating the shadow box to prove my worth as a racer.

Now, it’s my turn to be stunned into silence.

“I know you do the things you love,” she says to me without really looking up at my face. “So, I thought you deserved to have all your hard work highlighted.”

But Madelyn’s the first to speak. “Look at that! Wow, Eve, this is beautiful!”

Gregory stays silent like he has for most of the morning.

“Thank you,” I find myself saying. “This is…wow.”

There are only a few more gifts to give and open, so about twenty minutes later, we’re cleaning up the paper.

“It was the best first Christmas I could ask for!” Madelyn is giddy. “I hope everyone loves their gifts.”

No one responds; we just laugh at her words. That’s just because Evelyn and I don’t know what there is to say.

It’s not until later, when Madelyn and Gregory go for a walk together that I sneak up to Evelyn’s room.

I knock and enter, and she’s giving me this tiny smile.

“You looking for something?” She taunts.

“You.”

I don’t even wait for a full second. I take the space between us and close it, kissing Evelyn so hard that I take all the air out of my lungs. I only want to taste her, to smell her, to be with her.

Evelyn doesn’t fight back, and she makes sure to wrap her own arms around my body, bringing me in tighter. It’s a wonder to kiss this beautiful woman that stands before me.

Her hair’s scent draws me in, and her lips taste of vanilla. Soft, tender, beautiful.

When we break apart, breathing heavily, I know that nothing is going to happen. I don’t expect it.

Instead, with my forehead leaning against hers, I whisper to her.

“Thank you for my gift.”