Chapter 32

Sebastian

I hear every word out in the main room. It’s frustrating to hear everything that’s happening out there. But it does make me wonder one thing.

Am I any better than my roommate? What about Lucas? Gregory?

Every man that comes to mind, I question what the difference between us might be.

I believed I was the only one worthy of Evelyn’s affection and attention because I can be there for her and protect her from the evils of the world. However, now I wonder if I’m the mess.

“Sebastian!” Evelyn is shouting as she pounds on the door. “Come on, let me in. I want to talk!”

“Go away, Evelyn!” I call back, running my hands through my black hair, turning my neck back and forth as I try to handle a growing headache from getting worse.

“No, and I’m going to kick down this door if you don’t bother to unlock it.”

I roll my eyes, knowing she’s bluffing. “Sure, Princess.”

“You don’t think I know how? I’ve watched every episode of Law and Order, Sebastian. You better open this door before I kick the damn thing off its hinges and splinter the wood.”

The thing that’s pretty terrifying, is that now I do believe her. Exasperated, I open the door and poke my head out.

“Door open. Here I am. Now, door shall close.”

I push the door, but Evelyn is faster than I am, and her foot catches the door before it can slam against the wall.

“Get out of here,” I command.

She shakes her head full of curls and to my surprise, finds a strength I didn’t know she had to open my door against me. As soon as she’s made her way in, she slams the wood door behind her.

“What was all of that?” She demands of me, but I just shake my head, knowing she doesn’t understand anything.

“Two men were having a conversation.”

“Two men? You two looked like barbarians fighting over who gets to sleep in the dry part of the cave tonight!”

“Oddly specific example,” I murmur.

“Answer the question!” She stomps her foot. “Why did you think taking your anger out on William was going to get you anywhere?”

“You’re telling me that this man who made you cry and embarrassed you in public is allowed to get away with such a thing?”

Evelyn shakes her head. “I never said that, Sebastian, I asked you why you got into that fight.”

“Because he was a fucking tool! Because he doesn’t care that you’re important and off-limits.”

“Oh, this again!” Evelyn groans, walking past me toward my bed.

“Yes, this again,” I mock her. “What did you expect?”

“You don’t need to fight William to defend my honor or whatever, okay?”

“Is that what you think that way? You can’t even bother to think that maybe I was doing it because he’s in the wrong, and I want him to understand that?”

“And what happens if you seriously injure him? What do you expect us to do then? Sit on the sidelines and watch you throw your life away?”

“He’s nothing more than a tool, Evelyn! He’d figure his shit out and move on.”

“That’s not the point, okay? What you did wasn’t necessary and, in the end, could have seriously damaged your reputation or life!”

“Who cares about any of that? What’s important is that the fear of God has been put into the leech. He’s done. And now we don’t have to worry about him.”

“Is that actually what this is? Or is this about you being the only person who can talk to me, touch me, be with me?” She glares, her eyebrows furrowing so far down I worry they might fall off her face.

I can’t help but laugh at this. “You really are dense sometimes, Princess.”

“So, what then? Why is this my fault? What is it I did that you can’t seem to let go of?”

“You won’t commit to me, even when I constantly ask!” I toss back at her, my skin growing hotter by the minute.

Evelyn throws her arms out in front of her. “Because we’re going to hurt everyone around us if we come clean!”

“Why does everyone else matter before us?” It’s always weighing on my mind, and it’s starting to really piss me off.

“Why are you so dead-set on making sure there is an us? We’re two different people from two different worlds.”

I clench my fists. “Yet who was the one who asked for my help on our birthday? Who needed a distraction from her world and her pathetic excuse of a boyfriend?”

Evelyn throws her head back and lets out a loud, frustrated noise. “Me, okay? I trusted you to give me exactly what I needed that night, and you did. You gave me a night I haven’t been able to forget, does that make you feel better?”

Our breaths are coming out heavy, each person’s chest heaving as we watch one another.

But there’s something she’s said I was never expecting to hear.

I didn’t know Evelyn still thought of that night, let alone thought of it in such a high manor.

It feels stupid to ask her if she means what she’s said, but her eyes flash the truth to me. She’s not making this up. She’s truly bookmarked that night in her mind the way I have.

“It’s not just you,” my mind screams at me. “The feelings aren’t one-sided.”

My light eyes stare into her green, noticing their unusual speckled design. There are specks of brown in her iris, and we watch one another like pray in the wild.

As if we were questioning what the next move might be, I finally decided to write the rules myself. I walked right up to Evelyn, planted a kiss on her lips, and wrapped my arms around her body.

To my surprise, Evelyn doesn’t fight me, and she kisses me back. It’s exhilarating and shocking and I don’t seem to know what the fuck to do with my buzzing body.

After a long moment stuck together, we pull apart and rest our foreheads on one another’s.

“I need to know your answer, Princess,” I whisper. “I can’t wait any longer.”

“I—I just—”

“No. I have to. I know it sounds incredibly harsh, but I need to know. I’m not moving forward until the answer is out there.”

Yes or no, it doesn’t matter. All I want at this moment is to freeze time and stay in limbo like this. Before the entire world I know changes forever.

But I’m shocked to find Evelyn nodding her head against mine, breathing heavily into my face.

“Okay. I’ll go along with the second condition. No more stating we can’t be together,” she whispers to my skin.

It prickles at each word, the stress to stay standing through her declaration growing until suddenly and without truly thinking about it, I crash our faces together again, kissing Evelyn the way she deserves to be kissed.

I’m so much closer to what I’ve wanted for months, yet somehow, this kiss feels better than anything I could have possibly imagined.

I pull Evelyn closer and hear her moan into my mouth. God, I’ve missed that moan.

“Holy shit!”

Our lips rip apart from one another, and Evelyn and I swing our heads toward my bedroom door.

Standing with her mouth agape and white as a sheet, Ava is there with her hand still on the knob. I feel Evelyn’s body stiffen at this, and watch as if in slow motion, Ava turns and heads for the front door, swearing under her breath.

“No, wait, Ava!” Evelyn shouts, running after her friend.

Evelyn

I can’t even begin to remember how to breathe right now. Ava is standing at the door, frozen by what she must be seeing. Sebastian and I rip away from one another, jumping like in a video game as we each clear the other side of the room.

“Oh God,” I whisper to myself.

My worst fears, my worst nightmares: they’ve come to light. We’ve been caught, and by Ava, no less.

No one dares to move or say a word for almost a full minute. It’s so quiet a pin could drop and would sound like an atomic bomb.

Then, turning on her heel, the cheerleader goes to leave abruptly without another word.

I don’t look at Sebastian, and I don’t even bother expecting William to be waiting out in the main room. He’s most likely been scared off from his own apartment.

I rush out of the bedroom and start shouting at Ava to come back.

“Ava, I’m sorry, please, wait!”

Ava whips around, hurt and tears staining her face. “This whole time? It’s been Sebastian? He’s your brother!”

I correct her. “Step-brother! Besides, we had a history before we knew our parents were going to be married.”

“And yet you didn’t stop this.”

“I tried to stop this! I tried every fucking day.”

“But you’re still sneaking around and sleeping with him?”

“We haven’t slept together since the first time, when we met.

“Why should I believe you? You’ve been lying since the second I met you! Why should I listen to anything you have to say when you’re the one committing vile acts?”

My heart is screaming in my chest at her heinous words, wanting so desperately to get her to hear me. “It’s not like that, please believe me!”

“You lied, you betrayed me, and you’ve been using me!”

“No!”

“Then what do you call all of this?!” She screams, sending me backward in fear. “You’re a liar! I can’t even look at you!”

She starts to turn to leave, but I find my courage, even if it’s just for a second.

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone, please, Ava!”

Her face contorts into disgust, clearly repulsed by the thought of us sneaking around together. But she doesn’t respond or say anything at all, shaking her head.

“Please,” I whisper, my own tears gathering and ready to fall.

“You’re sick,” she sneers, shaking her head at me. “I don’t want to see you anymore. I’m done.”

That’s the end of it. Ava turns and begins to sprint down the hall of the apartment building as I call her to come back. She turns a corner and I lose her, and that’s when everything hits me.

“Princess,” I hear from behind me, and I fall to the floor as I cry.

He gathers me in his arms as I wail into his shoulder, heartbroken at what has transpired here.

“This is what I was so afraid of!” I weep, letting his shirt become stained with my hot tears. “She’s going to tell everyone!”

“You don’t know that,” he responds.

“It’s my fault,” I cry as Sebastian holds me closer, “It’s all my fault.”

Did I make the right choice in choosing Sebastian? Did I make the right choice is befriending Ava when I have been lying to her?

I keep murmuring, “It’s all my fault,” into Sebastian’s neck, and he holds me while I cry, before he carries me back into the apartment to lie down. He doesn’t try anything; he doesn’t touch me or tease me.

Instead, he lays me down on his bed and cuddles me close to him as I cry my heart out.

And even with my broken spirit, being in Sebastian’s arms brings me enough comfort that at some point in the night, I end up crying myself to sleep in the man’s arms.