Introduction
메이 언니의 황홀한 신음이 방 안에서 흘러나왔다. 그 목소리는 취한 듯 정신없이 몽롱하면서도, 강한 거부감과 어쩔 수 없는 신음이 배어 있었다.
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Elara Voss
Chapter 1
메이 언니의 황홀한 신음 소리가 방 안에서 새어 나왔다. 그 소리는 마치 취한 듯 미친 듯, 강한 거부감과 무력함이 담긴 신음이었다.
아버지는 메이 언니를 오래전부터 탐내왔다. 어머니가 돌아가신 후, 메이 언니는 자주 와서 나와 아버지를 돌봐주었다. 아버지의 말로는 메이 언니가 아주 예쁜 여자라고 했지만, 안타깝게도 내가 어릴 때 시력을 잃어 메이 언니의 모습은 전혀 볼 수 없었다.
메이 언니는 분명 원치 않았다. 그녀는 내 이름을 크게 외치며 도움을 청했지만, 아버지의 위엄에 눌려 나는 다가가지 못했다.
내가 볼 수 없다는 것은 차치하고라도, 볼 수 있다 한들 내가 무엇을 할 수 있었을까?
단지 한 문만 사이에 두고, 나는 그저 멍하니 문 앞에 서서 안에서 벌어지는 메이 언니와 아버지의 싸움을 듣고만 있었다.
점점, 메이 언니의 저항하는 소리는 약해지고, 아버지의 천박한 목소리는 더욱 커져갔다. 몸을 떨면서도 계속해서 메이 언니를 언어로 도발했다.
분명히, 메이 언니는 이미 무감각해졌다. 그녀는 시체처럼 침대에 누워, 가끔 신음 소리를 내는 것 외에는 아무런 움직임도 없었다.
내 마음은 죄책감으로 가득 찼다. 그동안 메이 언니가 나를 돌봐준 것을 생각하니 깊은 미안함이 밀려왔다.
갑자기 눈가에 촉촉함을 느꼈다. 손으로 만져보니 눈물이 흐르고 있었다!
얼마나 오랫동안 눈물을 흘리지 않았는지 기억조차 나지 않았다. 이 갑작스러운 상황에 나는 너무나 충격을 받았다.
손으로 눈을 문지르며 눈물을 닦아냈다. 그리고 다시 눈을 떴을 때, 기적이 일어났다.
내가 볼 수 있게 된 것이다.
가장 먼저 눈에 들어온 것은 메이 언니의 길고 아름다운 다리와 아버지의 커다란 엉덩이였다.
메이 언니의 얼굴을 보니, 정말 아버지가 말했던 것처럼 천상의 미인이었다. 그녀는 절망적인 눈빛으로 나를 바라보며, 눈물이 눈가를 타고 천천히 흘러내리고 있었다.
아버지도 문 밖의 나를 눈치챈 것 같았다. 고개를 돌려 한번 쳐다보더니 곧 비웃으며 메이 언니에게 말했다. "걔는 볼 수 없어. 이렇게 있으니 더 자극적이네!"
메이 언니는 절망적으로 눈을 감았다. 그렇게 아버지의 유린을 받아들이는 동안, 나는 계속해서 멍하니 문 앞에 서서 이 남녀의 격전을 '감상'하고 있었다.
잠시 후, 아버지는 침대에 누웠다. 담배를 한 대 피우며, 옷을 입고 있는 메이 언니를 만족스러운 표정으로 바라보았다.
메이 언니는 옷을 다 입고 내 옆을 지나갔다. 내 어깨를 스치듯 건드리고는 마치 바람처럼 사라졌다.
메이 언니는 화가 났지만, 그녀가 아버지에게 화가 난 건지, 아니면 나에게 화가 난 건지 알 수 없었다. 아버지를 바라보니, 그는 여전히 연기를 뿜어내며 편안한 모습이었다.
나약한 나는 아버지에게 뭐라고 말할 용기조차 없었다. 그저 내 방으로 돌아와 방금 본 장면을 떠올리며, 부끄럽게도 메이 언니의 몸에 대한 생각이 들었다. 그녀는 정말 너무 아름다웠고, 나도 그녀와 한번 해보면 얼마나 황홀할까 하는 끝없는 상상에 빠졌다.
쾅!
내가 상상에 빠져 있을 때, 밖에서 문이 열리는 소리가 들렸다. 경찰의 목소리와 아버지의 외침이 들렸다.
알았다, 메이 언니가 신고한 것이다. 처음부터 끝까지 나는 밖으로 나갈 용기가 없었다. 그저 조용히 내 방에 있다가 경찰이 아버지를 데려가고 집이 다시 고요해질 때까지 기다렸다.
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Rage brewed as I elbowed open door.
Well, here goes everything.
About Author
Elara Voss
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