Chapter 167

Kayla

Jade blinked, surprised. “A witch?” she repeated.

I tightened my grip on her wrist, ignoring the pain in my throat as I forced more words out. “Do you… know one?”

She hesitated, then gave a small nod. “Yes. There’s one in the pack. She’s the one who taught me what I know.”

I pulled in a ragged breath, wincing at the fire that spread through my chest. Every movement, every breath, every word felt like torture. But I needed this. I needed a solution.

“Bring her,” I rasped out. The words scraped against my damaged throat like broken glass. “Now.”

“For what?”

“Bring her,” I commanded.

Jade looked at me, then at the brace around my throat, and realization seemed to dawn on her. Partially, anyway. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nicholas wouldn’t—”

“I am your Luna,” I interrupted, holding back a cough. I hated using my position this way, hated the flash of hurt that crossed my friend’s face. But I was desperate. “Bring her to me.”

She stared at me for a long moment, and then her shoulders slumped in resignation. “Fine. I’ll be right back.”

With that, she slipped out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the bottle of pills that still sat on my bedside table. I closed my eyes, refusing to even look at them. I wasn’t going to lose this baby.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, the soft click of the door opening woke me. Jade entered, followed by a tall, slender older woman with silver hair.

“Luna,” she said, inclining her head slightly. “You called for me?”

I tried to push myself up into a sitting position, but my arms trembled with the effort. Jade hurried forward to help me, adjusting the pillows behind my back.

“Thank you for coming,” I whispered, the words scraping painfully against my throat. “I need… help.”

The witch approached the bed, taking in my condition. “So I’ve been told. Jade mentioned you’re having trouble healing.” Her gaze dropped to where my hand still rested on my stomach. “And that there’s a child involved.”

I nodded. “My wolf… won’t emerge. Doctor says… baby is taking all my strength.” I had to pause, catching my breath. “Can’t heal properly.”

The witch sat in the chair Nicholas had occupied earlier. “And what exactly are you asking of me, Luna?”

I swallowed, the movement sending fresh waves of pain through my throat. “Need my wolf. Need to heal faster. For the baby.”

Jade tensed.

“You want me to help your wolf emerge,” the witch said.

I nodded, and even that small movement hurt.

The witch was silent for a long moment, studying me. “There might be a way,” she finally said. “But I must warn you—it’s dangerous.”

I narrowed my eyes, silently urging her to go on.

“There’s a potion,” she said. “Made from rare herbs and… other ingredients. It could potentially stimulate your wolf to emerge.” She leaned forward slightly. “But it might cause a miscarriage, and there’s no telling if that will happen until it’s too late. Is that a risk you’re willing to take?”

I closed my eyes, considering her words. The risk was enormous. But so was doing nothing. Without my wolf, my baby might and I might both die anyway. Or I’d be forced to take abortion pills. Both options resulted in my baby’s death for certain.

Besides, even if I managed to carry the baby to term, would it come out wolfless because of me? Would it face all of the same struggles I’d dealt with throughout my life?

Would my child be vulnerable to those who saw wolfless people as weak pawns and not worthy of respect?

Finally, I opened my eyes, meeting her gaze. “Make it,” I choked out.

Jade’s eyes widened. “No, Kayla—” she began, but I cut her off with a firm glare.

The witch studied me for another long moment, then nodded once. “As you wish, Luna.” She rose from the chair. “I’ll need to gather some ingredients. I’ll return shortly.”

Once she was gone, Jade whirled on me. “Are you insane?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” I managed.

Jade relaxed slightly at that, although her eyes caught the bottle of pills on my bedside table. I could see it in her gaze—the realization of the impossible situation I was in. Either take abortion pills and surely kill my child, or try the potion and only potentially end the little life inside of me.

I wanted to take the latter option. Or at least, I wanted that option available to me, rather than being forced to choose between two instances of certain death for one or both of us.

Finally, Jade sank down into the chair next to the bed. “So you are insane.”

I shrugged one shoulder and shot her a thin smile that didn’t reach my eyes.

True to her word, the witch returned within the hour with a small glass vial clutched in her hand. The liquid inside shimmered like dark honey, catching the light as she moved.

“It’s ready,” she said. “But I must ask once more—are you certain this is what you want?”

I nodded, reaching for the vial with a shaking hand.

The witch looked at me for another long moment, then slowly placed the vial in my palm. “The choice is yours, Luna. But I recommend waiting until you’re absolutely certain. The potion will keep indefinitely.”

I curled my fingers around the cool glass and nodded. “Thank you,” I mouthed, having lost the strength to speak any more.

“If you decide to take it,” the witch added, “you should be prepared. The emergence of a wolf can be… intense. Painful, even. Particularly when forced.”

I nodded again.

The witch bowed her head slightly. “I’ve done as you asked, Luna. The rest is in your hands.” Finally, she turned and left the room for good this time.

Once she was gone, Jade turned to me. “Nicholas will be back soon. Do you want me to tell him about this?”

I shook my head immediately, panic flaring up inside of me. Nicholas would never allow me to take such a risk. He’d take the potion away, destroy it. And while I wasn’t certain I would use it, I wanted—needed—to be the one to make that decision.

Not anyone else. Not Jade. Not Nicholas.

Me.

“Our secret,” I rasped. “Please.”

Jade sighed, but nodded reluctantly. “Alright. But promise me you won’t make any decisions without really thinking it through.”

I squeezed her hand in silent agreement, then watched as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Once I was alone, I stared at the small vial in my hand. I bit my lip, uncertain; even if I did take it, then I certainly couldn’t do it now. I had to wait until I could at least swallow without excruciating pain, and besides, I still wasn’t even sure if I would take it. I needed to think. But at least now I had the tools to try and make my wolf emerge if I so chose.

With trembling fingers, I reached over and slipped it under my mattress, hiding it from view.

The next few days passed in a haze. Nicholas rarely left my side, worrying until he made himself sick. The doctor visited daily, disappointed each time to find the abortion pills untouched.

Every moment I had alone, my thoughts kept returning to the vial hidden beneath my mattress. Was I desperate enough to take that risk? To potentially harm my baby in an attempt to save us both?

On the fourth day, when Nicholas stepped out to deal with pack business, I couldn’t stand being confined to the bedroom any longer. Moving painfully slowly, I made my way downstairs, needing a change of scenery and a distraction from the endless circle of my thoughts.

The TV remote lay on the coffee table. I grabbed it, sinking into the couch with relief after the exertion of the stairs. I turned on the television, hoping for something mindless to occupy my thoughts.

Instead, the screen filled with Nicholas’s face. My stomach dropped.

Someone had taken a picture of the day he had held Anna’s baby, and now it was all over the news.

“…and Alpha Nicholas certainly seems to have taken to the little one,” the news anchor was saying. “Too bad wolfless Luna Kayla will never provide Nicholas with such joy!”

I shut off the TV instantly, my hands shaking as I dropped the remote.

I turned away from the screen, bile rising in my throat. Without conscious thought, I found myself climbing the stairs again.

Back in the bedroom, my fingers found their way under the mattress, closing around the cool glass of the vial. I pulled it out, staring at the liquid inside.