Chapter 153

Kayla

I stared at the deer turning on the spit, its skin turned red and glistening with fat as the fire cooked it from beneath. The air smelled like roasting meat, mingling with the scent of fresh bread and mulled cider.

I was starving and surrounded by food that looked utterly delicious, and yet my appetite was nowhere to be found.

It was just a deer, I told myself. Werewolf society was almost entirely carnivorous, and I’d always loved meat—my father even used to take me hunting and fishing as a kid, so I was no stranger to killing and eating animals.

But something about seeing this majestic creature turning over a fire made me sick to my stomach. Maybe it was because I had looked into its eyes, shared a brief moment of peace, lowered my bow and decided to live and let live.

Or maybe it was because, if I shut my eyes, I could almost picture myself turning on that spit.

Meat. Something to be used and discarded, just like how Nicholas had used me to get Bluemoon.

I hated that I was thinking like this. I hated that the man who had just washed me tenderly in the bath, who had waited for me as I dressed in clean clothes and remained by my side as we returned to the feast, whose golden eyes had pulled me out of a spiral when Nora had almost bled out in the forest, made me feel this way.

Most of all, I hated that I still wanted him even after everything.

As I stood there now, dressed in a warm coat and wool pants, clean and dry with warm cider in my belly, I realized what I had felt when he had washed me in the tub—that other emotion that I couldn’t quite place at the time.

It was the mate bond humming to life for the first time in weeks.

Only this time, it was different. Normally, when the bond ignited, it felt like lava coursing through my veins—or perhaps a sharp tug whenever Nicholas used it to convey a thought or feeling. But this time, it was more like… settling into a warm blanket. Or breathing in the spring air after a long winter. Or perhaps being embraced by a long-lost love.

It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. It was gentle, so gentle it was barely even there, like a whisper across my skin, and yet it had wrapped around me entirely.

Even now, standing in front of the fire, I could almost still feel it. It wasn’t there anymore, not really, but I could feel its lingering effects buzzing beneath my skin like thousands of tiny fireflies. I never wanted to let it go.

I glanced over at Nicholas, who was standing a ways away, smiling and laughing in that easy way of his as he chatted with the warrior who had taken down the stag. The warrior was large and muscular, with dark hair pulled back into a bun and a dark spiral tattoo running up his neck and the underside of his jaw. He had a stunning blonde woman hanging on his arm, his mate, and he was wearing the stag’s antlers on his head like some sort of sick crown.

The very sight made me want to retch, and I quickly turned away, making my way over to the food table to eat some bread to at least try and fill my stomach.

Emma found me there as I was picking at a roll, trying to settle my stomach. “Aren’t you more hungry than that?” she asked, touching my arm. “After three days spent in the woods?”

I shrugged. “Not really,” I admitted. Truthfully, I thought my appetite had been gone long before this moment. It had been gone since Nora had shown me that audio clip just minutes before my wedding.

Just the very thought of Nora made my skin tingle uncomfortably. I was still pissed at her for being such a bitch, and at Nicholas for… well, obvious reasons. But now it felt even more tangled after what she had told me on the first night of the hunt.

Was it true that Nicholas had laughed in her face when she confessed her feelings? Was he truly that heartless, even back then? Was it true that Nora thought she was doing me a favor by trying to break us up, by showing me that audio clip?

I didn’t think Nora could ever be my friend, not by a long shot, but at least I understood her a little better now. If only I could say the same for Nicholas. And myself.

Emma pursed her lips, exhaling through her nose. “Nora’s gonna be okay, you know. Jade said she was in stable condition by the time they loaded her in the ambulance.”

I nodded, feeling marginally better hearing that. “Good. I’m glad.”

Emma cocked her head, looking surprised, but she didn’t ask why I cared about Nora all of a sudden and I didn’t have a chance—or even really the energy—to explain before Nicholas was suddenly striding up to us.

“Kayla,” he said, gesturing behind him where a group of couples—the stag-killer and his mate included—were gathering. “They’re holding a couples’ game. We should join, since… you know…” He cleared his throat, letting the implication hang in the air.

I sighed and set down my drink, following him. We had to create the image of a loving Alpha and Luna, after all. And, to keep morale high after a pack member’s injury, we had to participate in such things even more.

The game was simple enough—just one of those three-legged races where couples tied one of each of their legs together and raced to an ending point. Nicholas tied his right leg to my left one, and I plastered a playful smile on my face, waving to the small audience of pack members that had gathered, as we waited for the game to begin.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened out there?” Nicholas asked, leaning close as the other couples got in line.

I glanced up at him. “I’m fine. Really.”

Nicholas didn’t look convinced, but just then, the starting whistle went off and the couples began to hop down the impromptu track. Nicholas and I stumbled after them, absurdly out of sync compared to the others. Whenever I moved my right leg, he would try to move his right, and so on. It seemed we could never get a good tempo going, always trying to move in opposite directions at the same time.

“Come on,” Nicholas grunted, wrapping his arm around my waist as we neared the finish line. We were third from last place already. “Kayla, you’re way off.”

I grit my teeth in concentration. “Forgive me for being a little tired after three days in the woods and resuscitating a pack member,” I growled, my voice low enough so only he could hear me over the sound of the cheers and laughter.

Nicholas narrowed his eyes, turning his head toward me as if to bite out another retort. In that moment of distraction, we pitched forward, tumbling to the ground. Our heads knocked against one another as we went down, sending us both sprawling to the snow just inches before the finish line.

The crowd went wild, laughing and cheering. Little did they know it wasn’t a happy accident—just a frustrating one.

“Ow,” I groaned, sitting up and rubbing my forehead where I’d knocked it against his. Nicholas was already untying our legs, his face red, giving up entirely since we had come in last place.

I looked up and grimaced, then, as I saw the stag’s cooked head being placed in the center of one of the tables on a silver platter.

He couldn’t untie us fast enough. I was on my feet the moment the rope was undone, and then I was moving toward the treeline, needing to breathe. Once out of sight, I pressed my palm into the cool, rough bark of a tree, inhaling deeply.

But I wasn’t alone for long.

“Kayla.”