Chapter 46

I told myself I was down in the archives to clear my head, to figure out what to do next, to put that damn kiss out of my head. I was trying to figure out how the fallback plan even got leaked and how to make it make sense. I was trying to prove I could still help. That I was worth keeping here.

The archives were freezing, and I couldn’t stop shaking. The lamplight caught on the dust in the air like particles of accusation. I started cross-referencing documents with my mother's journal. My fingers traced my mother’s old notes, her careful, calculated script. She'd written about treaties that saved people and condemned others. I could hear their whispers about me. About her. About what I might become. About how much worse I already was.

Richard's voice snapped through the hush. "Amelia."

I didn't turn. "Don’t."

He walked closer. "You’re making them doubt you. You know what this looks like to them? You were an outsider I brought in when the House was already cracking. I sold them on your treaty knowledge, your analysis of the old alliances. They said you couldn't be trusted because you were an orphan, that you were too wolfless to be worth it, that you were dangerous because you were different. I overruled them and forced you in. Then I put you in the summit team, made you my strategy lead. Everyone heard the rumors about you coming into my room at the summit. They think I'm compromised. They think you leaked the fallback plan. They think you're here to betray us. They see you as my liability, not my partner. Every time you fight them without explaining, you make them sure they're right. And I can't fix that."

I slammed the drawer shut. Papers jumped. "Then maybe you should stop trying."

His hand gripped my arm. "I don’t want to. Don’t make me."

I jerked away. "Because you want me quiet? Obedient? Dependent on you to tidy my messes?"

He sounded like something was tearing in him. "Because if I let you drown, I lose everything."

I climbed the ladder with forced determination, trying to look like I had a plan even though my mind was blank. My jaw set hard as I grabbed the side rails. I wanted him to see I could do this myself. I was determined to reach something, anything, to prove I belonged there.

My hand stretched for a file I couldn't even read properly, my heart pounding in panic that I had no idea what it actually was. I kept going, breath shaking, arms burning from strain. I wouldn't ask for help. My boot slipped. My scream was muffled by the rush of falling. But he caught me. He didn't let go. His arms locked around me so tight I could barely breathe.

"Reckless," he spat. "You could have died."

"Died? Please, it's like six feet off the ground."

He shook his head. "You want to prove your worth so badly you’ll die for it? That’s your plan?"

My voice cracked. "Better than living like this. Better than watching you look at me like you hate that you need me."

His grip tightened. "I don't hate needing you. I hate that wanting you will ruin us both."

My eyes burned. "Then stop."

He closed his eyes, pressed his forehead to mine. "I can’t. That’s the problem. I can’t stop."

My wolf shifted under my skin. I felt it for the first time in years. Hungry. Ready to fight. "Then don’t."

His breath hitched. He didn’t kiss me. He didn’t let go either. He held me like he could keep me together if he just held on long enough. Then he set me down and turned away. His voice was shredded. "Don’t make me watch them break you."

I grabbed the journal and left, without saying anything else.

My apartment was too quiet. Through the peephole, I saw Simon next door, pacing. His voice was muffled but harsh. He was on the phone with someone. He cursed Richard, saying he was asking too much. Then I heard the break in his voice. The rawness. "I can’t bury another friend, Nathan. Not again. Not her."

A knock. I jumped. I wiped my face and opened the door a crack. Simon looked exhausted. Hollow.

"Amelia. Let me in."

I moved back. He stepped in and closed the door. The silence between us was thick.

"You’re not okay," he said finally.

I didn’t meet his eyes. "What do you want?"

"I want you to stop pretending you don’t need anyone. You don't have to shoulder all of this alone, from the council screaming at you to the plans leaking. You're not the only one trying to figure out who betrayed us or how the fallback plan got out. Stop acting like you can do this alone. Let someone help you. Let me help you. Let me stand with you."

My voice broke. "I don’t know how." I glared at him. "It's none of your business. You're just a healer, it's not like you're on the official campaign team."

He didn't even flinch. "I treat the body and the mind. Part of that is preventative care. And if you keep going like this, you're headed for a full breakdown or worse. And more than that, I'm your friend and I don't want to stand by and watch you destroy yourself."

I didn’t say anything. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. I went stiff, but he didn’t let go. I sagged against him. He smelled like antiseptic and woodsmoke. He smelled safe.

He rested his chin on my hair. His voice was raw. "I can’t watch you do this to yourself. I won’t watch you destroy yourself for him."

My voice cracked. "I’m sorry."

He shook his head. "Don’t be. Just let someone see you. Let me see you."

My throat burned. "I don’t want you to be collateral."

He held me tighter. "Then stop pushing me away."

A sharp knock. Simon tensed. He didn’t want to let me go. Another knock. Harder.

He sighed and turned, opening the door just enough.

Adam was leaning in the doorway. Smirking. Holding the blue dress from the mate ball. "You left this at my place."

I blinked. "That’s not mine, and how the hell do you know where I live?"

Adam's smirk didn't fade. "Jenny thinks it suits you. Said you’d want it back."

Simon bristled. "What the fuck do you want, Adam?"

Adam ignored him. His eyes locked onto me. "Rumors are spreading, Amelia. Jenny’s making sure everyone knows you’re the reason the fallback plan failed. Soon she's gonna know that you’re Richard’s blind spot. That you’re fucking your way into power. That you’ll betray us the moment it benefits you. But I’ll let her in on that after we tell everyone your dirty little secret about your mother."

I felt my blood freeze. "Get out."

Adam didn’t move. "You’re making it so easy for them. So predictable. They don’t want you here. They never did. Don’t you see that?"

Simon snapped. "Get out. Now."

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Oh, protective. Cute. Don't get your hopes up, not when she has the Alpha King wrapped around her finger. Or maybe she's already fucking you. I wouldn't be surprised. She'll fuck anything to get what she wants."

Simon lunged but I grabbed his arm. My voice shook. "Please, both of you. Just go."

Adam’s eyes narrowed. "You’re going to get him killed. Or yourself. Or all of us. Keep pretending you belong. But you know you’re the reason we’re falling apart."

Simon turned back to me. His voice was soft. "Amelia—"

I shook my head, voice breaking. "Please. Just go."

Simon’s face fell. He nodded once. Adam left first, whistling as he walked down the hall. Simon lingered. Looked like he might say more. Then he turned and left without another word.

The door clicked shut. I locked it. Slid to the floor. Pulled my knees to my chest. My wolf snarled inside me. I pressed my fist to my mouth and screamed until my throat tore.