Chapter 42

They announced my promotion like a death sentence. It was supposed to be a step up, but everyone knew it was about removing me from public view, tucking me into a back room so I couldn't embarrass them anymore. It was behind-the-scenes work. They wanted me invisible.

"Congratulations," someone mumbled, too quiet for the room to hear properly. Another voice cleared its throat. "Promotion well earned." It felt fake. Staged.

My mouth twisted and I caught Emma exchanging a glance with Nathan. "Seriously?" I whispered, glancing at Emma. She raised an eyebrow. "What?" I shook my head.

"Nothing. Just... This is stupid."

Emma tried to smile. "Hey, you wanted this. Command hub's yours now."

"Oh yeah?" I snapped. "Feels like you just want me out of the public eye." My heart pounded like it wanted out of my chest. Every eye flicked to me and then snapped away. Richard didn't say anything, but his eyes burned into me. Cold. Controlled. But I could see the heat there, banked like coals ready to blaze.

I moved my boxes to the command hub like it was a walk of shame. Emma hovered, cracking jokes to fill the silence. "Look at you, Big Brain Amelia. Don't overthrow the council your first week." My laugh was sharp and brittle.

"No promises." Her eyes searched mine like she could see everything I was trying to hide.

Simon didn’t bother with small talk. He waited until Emma left and then cornered me. "You’re off your game." I glared at him.

"I’m busy." He stepped closer, voice low and biting.

"No. You’re sloppy. Distracted. And it’s going to get us all in trouble."

My hands tightened around the files I was carrying. "If you have a problem, write me up." His eyes didn't waver.

"You want to fuck the Alpha? Fine. But don't get the rest of us executed because you can't keep it in your pants."

My vision went red. "Say that again. I fucking dare you."

He didn’t flinch. "You heard me. I blinked, shocked at how brutal it sounded coming from him. Simon had always been the reasonable one. The calm one.

"I'm not fucking him. And even if I was it's none of your business."

Simon's jaw flexed.

"You think I don't know that? If I knew it would fuck you up this badly I never would have let you in that room in the first place."

Emma returned just as I lunged at him. "Enough!" she yelled, shoving between us.

Simon didn't back down. "Tell her I'm wrong."

Emma's face was tight. "What the hell has gotten into you Simon? You're both acting like pups."

Nathan appeared behind us, voice like thunder. "What the hell is going on here?"

We all froze. His eyes landed on me. "Amelia. Can you lead?" My mouth was dry.

I nodded once. He didn’t smile. "Then act like it. If I hear about this again, you’re out of my command room. Simon, Emma, get out. Amelia, fix this."

They left. I stood alone, heart racing, fingers shaking. The hub felt like a prison after that. Whispers trailed me wherever I went. Papers rustled and silenced when I entered. I couldn't work in my room. Richard’s door was too close. Too loud. I heard him moving inside. I could feel him even when he wasn’t there.

Meetings were torture. Our knees bumped under the table. He didn't move. Neither did I. Our fingers brushed over files. Sparks. I snatched my hand back like I'd been burned. He stayed still, jaw tight. His eyes tracked me. Every move. Every breath.

That night the command center emptied. I stayed. Couldn’t go back to my room. Couldn’t face the silence. I wandered, aimless, until my feet dragged me to the archives. He was there, of course. Always there. Maps spread out like secrets. Hair messy from fingers yanking at it. Sleeves rolled to the elbow. Tension in every line of his body.

I stood in the doorway for too long. My heart tried to hammer out of my chest. My throat burned. "About earlier." My voice cracked.

He didn’t look up. "Not here. Not now." My eyes flicked to the blinking red light of the camera in the corner. Watching, recording, ready to condemn.

"So when? When do we talk about it?" My voice shook with anger and fear.

He finally looked at me. Eyes dark. Haunted. "It’s not just about us." My chest hurt. "It never was."

"You really want to do this? Sit here and pretend to plan while you act like nothing happened?" He looked back, eyes cold.

I couldn't hold back. "We don't have a choice. You think I don't see how you look at me? How badly you want me?"

His jaw tightened. "Stop."

"Say it," I demanded, voice shaking. "Say you don't want me."

He didn't. Silence fell between us. Papers shifted. My fingers trembled over maps. We fought in low, savage whispers about strategy. About alliances. About betrayal. Every word was a weapon. Our fingers brushed and froze. Heat pulsed up my arm. I yanked my hand away so hard I knocked a pile of folders to the floor.

He didn’t move to help. Just watched. Eyes burning. "Amelia," he rasped. "Don’t make this harder."

My laugh was broken glass. "Don’t you dare tell me what to do."

He slammed a hand on the table. Papers jumped. "You think this is easy for me? You think I don't want to touch you? To have you?"

I hissed. "Then do it. Please, just do it."

He stood so fast the chair clattered back. Breathing hard. "We can't. You know why."

"Because you're scared."

"You've heard how vicious the rumors out there are. If this continues, it'll destroy you."

I could've sworn I saw the wolf stirring in the depths of Richard's eyes, yet he reined it all in, murmuring: "I can't just stand by and let this happen. Not when it started with me."

My eyes burned. I hated the tears that threatened. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do? Pretend I don’t want you? Pretend last night didn’t happen?"

He was silent. Jaw tight, eyes everywhere but me. I let out a sound halfway between a sob and a snarl. I turned and fled.

I didn’t stop until I hit my door. I pressed my forehead to it. My knuckles raised.

I sat up all night. I could hear him moving inside. I could hear his breath. I could feel the heat of his body even through the wall. My thighs clenched with remembered heat.

I opened my journal and started a letter I knew I'd never send. My breath hitched remembering the heat of his mouth, the sound of his growl. I whispered to the empty room and pressed my thighs together like I could make the ache go away.

My hand shook so bad the words came out jagged. I want you. I hate you. I want you to be honest with me. I want you to stop pretending. I want you to say it's worth it. I want you to fight for me. I want you to let me be yours. I want to stop feeling like the only one who cares. I want to stop lying to myself. Tears dripped onto the page until the ink bled. I crumpled it and held it against my chest, sobbing, rocking myself in the dark until the dawn broke and I was too exhausted to move.