Chapter 29

Celia

Ethan’s face changes. It is like he goes through the five stages of grief all at once, constantly shifting under his skin before he lands on something that resembles a calm acceptance.

“Is this…” his words trail off. Ethan diverts his gaze for a quick moment before his eyes return to mine. “Is this related to…him?”

I freeze. My mouth goes dry and I am unable to get the dry feeling to go away. I turn away from Ethan and avoid his all knowing eyes. My hands begin to shake.

“Ah. I see,” Ethan fills in the blank spots of my response.

A silence overtakes the air. It’s uncomfortable and calming at the same time.

Something from within the silence is the answer to Ethan’s silent question. I know that he was going to confess his feelings to me again today. If he was not going to, then he would not have spent so much time fussing with the blanket and fighting the wind.

I sigh and turn to look at the low hanging clouds. I wish that I could reach out for them, to touch the water particles that hang close together in the sky.

Yes, Ethan, my question is about Soren, our Alpha King and the man who took my heart and stomped on it until it stopped beating.

Yes, Ethan, my question revolves around the person that I am desperately trying to forget.

Yes, Ethan, my question is about the Alpha King who handed me a contract with a clause demanding that I leave the pack after his engagement party.

“Well,” Ethan’s voice breaks through the awkward silence. I turn to look at him, a breath escaping my lips. “I think you should go for it.”

“Go for what?” A quiet laugh escapes my lips, breathless and airy.

“I think you should go after him,” there is a hint of bitterness to Ethan’s words but I know he means well. It is not his fault that I ended up in a toxic situation with the Alpha King. Life isn’t fair like that.

“What if he does not listen to me? What happens then?” I ask him, not realizing that my voice is as quiet as a mouse.

“Then you make him listen to you, Celia. Everyone knows that you are a very smart and capable woman. You always do the right thing and you know what exactly needs to happen to make things better,” his expression slightly softens as he speaks. “At the end of the day, things are going to turn out the way they were supposed to be.”

“You think so?” I ask, needing that last ditch effort of reassurance that everything will be okay even if Soren kicks me out of his pack.

“I know it will be,” Ethan’s words instantly calm my nerves, my hands ceasing their nervous trembles.

I nod and smile at him, turning to look at the clouds once again. I watch him so the same from the corner of my eyes, a sense of calm overtaking my body. The wind feels warm against my skin as it blows by. I close my eyes and sigh.

“I…” I open my mouth but my voice immediately dies. “I’m sorry that we…that I can’t return your feelings.”

“It’s okay,” Ethan is quick to respond. Maybe a little too quick for my liking.

“No, really, I mean it,” I open my eyes and look over at him. He stares at the clouds, his eyes filled with tears. I do not comment on that, though. “You deserve someone so much better than me. I am a mess, to say the least.”

“You’re not a mess,” Ethan groans. He begins to sit up, bringing his hands to the tops of his knees.

“Yes,” I chuckle, sitting up alongside him, “I am. You deserve someone who is not a mess…someone who will reciprocate your feelings and will always look for you whenever you enter the room. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them, Ethan. You cannot settle for someone like me. I simply will not allow it!”

Ethan chuckles and looks away from me. I laugh with him and nudge into his side.

The awkward tension that once hung in the air has finally evaporated. It leaves us alone. It no longer poses a threat to the nice day that surrounds us. We can listen to the birds chirp and sing in peace, to watch as butterflies and ladybugs fly by, their buzzing wings tickling our ears.

“Hey, Celia?” Ethan asks. I hum in response. Ethan’s sigh is long and drawn out, his voice threatening to crack under the pressure he puts on himself. “Can we still be friends after this?”

“Of course!” I immediately respond.

“I do not want our friendship to be ruined just because you do not reciprocate my feelings,” Ethan clears his throat in an attempt to ease any new tension that blooms between us. “I mean, I don’t want to leave the pack after the engagement party in case things are not good between us.”

Ethan laughs. My veins run cold and I have to force myself to laugh alongside him. I place a hand on his shoulder and pat it.

“Now that is something that you definitely do not need to worry about, Ethan,” I say. I try to hide the bitter taste that forms on my tongue, not wanting it to seep into my words.

Thankfully, I do not think that he noticed the disdain behind my words. His face does not even falter as he turns to look at me. He wipes his hands on his dress pants and clears his throat.

It is too bad that things did not work out between us. I like Ethan, but he does not make my heart race or the butterflies in my stomach flutter. He’s safe…comfortable. If I were to choose him as my chosen mate, it would feel like I am subjecting him to a cruel fate. A loveless life that nobody deserves to live through.

I know what it feels like. It is not something that I could wish upon a person, especially someone as good and kind as Ethan.

I slowly stand up, holding out my hands for Ethan. With an exaggerated grunt, I help him from the ground, our laughter mixing into one.

Our movements are slow yet deliberate. I pick up the leftover boxes of crackers and the empty cans of juice and I quickly move to the side and deposit them inside the woven wooden basket that Ethan brought.

As soon as I am down with that, I drop and pick up two corners of the soft blanket that he brought. Smiles appear on our faces as I step towards him, passing off the corners into his grip. I drop to grab the new end and repeat the process, leaving Ethan standing there as I do all of the word.

I clear my throat and pass off the folded blanket to Ethan. He gathers the basket in his free hand and looks down at me with a smile.

“Thank you for this, Celia,” he begins “thank you for letting me down easy too.”

“Of course, Ethan. I hope I can still be your date to the engagement party,” I beam up at him, trying to keep the positive attitude on my face. He nods.

I stand up on my toes and pull Ethan into a hug. I look at the busy city street from over his shoulder, watching as people and cars pass by.

A black sports car catches my attention. I continue the repetitive motions and watch as Soren exits his car. He remains by the vehicle, though, and leans against the hood of his car.

“Get home safe, okay?” I pull out of the hug and pat his shoulder. Ethan nods and begins to walk away.

I turn towards Soren and suck in a breath, mentally preparing myself to tell him that I can heal him.