Chapter 45

Raven

I stared in horror at the sight before me. My horse was now laying on the ground, her leg twisted awkwardly, the arrow I had loosed embedded deep into her knee. Blood seeped around the shaft, staining her glossy coat a dark crimson.

Panic surged through me as I scrambled off the ground and rushed to her side.

“Oh no, no, no…” I murmured, dropping to my knees beside her. “I’m so sorry, girl. I didn’t mean to…”

The horse groaned softly, her eyes rolling in pain. My heart clenched at the sight. I had never intentionally hurt an animal in my life and never planned on it, and now, because of my own recklessness, she was suffering.

Neil approached us, his expression unreadable. “We need to end her suffering,” he said flatly, already drawing his sword.

I looked up sharply. “What are you doing?”

He sighed, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. “She’s lame, Raven. The kindest thing we can do is give her a swift, painless death.”

“No!” I shouted, throwing myself over the horse’s neck. “You’ll have to kill me instead!”

Neil raised one dark eyebrow, clearly surprised by my outburst. “Don’t be foolish. This is the way of things. Injured horses don’t recover from wounds like this.”

I glared up at him. “She’s not just an animal to be discarded! I can help her.”

Neil paused for a moment, staring at me, before he sighed and shook his head. “You are being irrational. It’s cruel to let her bleed out like this.”

“Cruel?” I snapped. “What’s cruel is giving up without even trying to save her!”

“And how do you propose we do that?”

I hesitated for a moment, my mind racing. Then it hit me. “Herbs,” I blurted out, pointing at the surrounding forest. “With the right herbs, I can make a poultice to stop the bleeding and prevent infection. She’ll pull through. She has to.”

Neil crossed his arms. “You think some leaves and roots will fix this?”

“Just help me gather them!” I shouted, my sharp voice echoing through the treetops.

He stared at me, taken aback by the intensity in my voice. After a tense moment, he nodded slowly, but seemingly more so out of exasperation than agreement—maybe even to teach me a lesson. “Fine. What do you need?”

Relieved for the moment, I rattled off a list of herbs I remembered from college. “Comfrey, yarrow, calendula if you can find it.”

He gave me a skeptical look. “You realize I’m not an apothecary.”

“Just look for plants with these descriptions,” I insisted, quickly detailing the physical appearance of each one.

Neil glanced around the forest. “Alright. Stay with the horse. I’ll see what I can find.”

As he disappeared among the trees, I turned my attention back to my horse. Gently stroking her neck, I whispered in her ear, tears pricking my eyes. She struggled beneath me, but calmed a little at my voice. “It’s okay, girl. We’re going to fix this. I promise.”

Minutes felt like hours, but eventually, Neil returned with an armful of plants. “I think this is what you asked for,” he said, tossing them on the ground beside me.

I sifted through them, nodding. “Yes, this is perfect.” Without hesitation, I began chewing the herbs, grinding them into a paste with my teeth.

Neil watched me with a mixture of fascination and disgust written across his face. “That’s… one way to do it.”

I ignored his comment. “I need you to hold her still and help me remove the arrow.”

He frowned. “Pulling it out will only make it worse.”

“Please, Neil. Just trust me.”

He hesitated, then knelt beside me. “Fine. Hold her steady.”

Together, we worked to keep the horse calm. Neil grasped the arrow shaft firmly. “On three,” he said. “One… two…” On two, he yanked the arrow out in one swift motion.

The horse screamed, and so did I. Blood poured from the wound, and I quickly spat the herbal paste into my hand, pressing it firmly against the gash. My fingers instantly went warm and sticky with the red liquid, but I kept pressing the poultice into the wound as best I could.

Neil shook his head as I worked frantically. “This is futile.”

“Stop it!” I snapped, whirling on him. “Why are you being so negative?”

He met my gaze, his eyes cold. “I am just being realistic, Raven.”

“Realistic or heartless?” I shot back. “Ever since last night, you’ve been nothing but cruel!”

His jaw tightened. “I haven’t been cruel.”

“Yes, you have. You’re clearly taking out your frustrations on me!” I stood up, my fists clenched at my sides. “I get it, Neil. Your fiancée is missing, and that’s horrible, and I’m sorry. But it’s not my fault!”

He blinked, clearly not expecting me to say that. “This isn’t about Serena.”

“Isn’t it?” I felt my palms begin to itch. “One minute you’re… you’re kissing me up against a tavern, and the next you’re treating me like I’m nothing!”

“Raven—”

“I’ve had enough!” I wiped at my eyes angrily. “I am so fucking sick of men like you and Nathan treating me like an object to be used and discarded! I’m sick of it!”

He stared at me, speechless. I didn’t even realize I had uttered Nathan’s name—didn’t realize it until it was too late. With my face heating, I huffed and turned away, dropping to my knees beside the horse once more. I picked up another handful of herbs and stuffed them into my mouth, chewing them into a paste.

“And now you want to kill my horse because it’s convenient?” I growled around the herbs. “No I won’t let you.”

A silence hung between us, heavy and suffocating as I worked. Finally, Neil looked away. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

I sniffed, surprised by his admission. “What?”

He stood up. “I’ll gather more herbs.” Without another word, he disappeared into the forest once more.

Left alone, I returned my focus to the horse. Her breathing was labored, but the bleeding had slowed a little, and the air smelled sweetly of medicinal herbs. “Hang in there,” I whispered, stroking her ears with one hand while I smeared the poultice across her wound with the other.

I wasn’t sure why I had brought Nathan up like that. Maybe it was because of what he had said when we broke up: that our whole relationship was nothing but transactional.

Maybe it was because I didn’t want whatever I had with Neil, with my mate, to be transactional. And last night… last night didn’t feel that way in the midst of our instinct-driven passion, and yet here he was, treating me like a stranger today.

I couldn’t go through that again.

Neil returned shortly after, handing me more herbs. “Here.”

“Thank you,” I murmured, taking them and repeating the process of chewing them into a paste. As I worked, Neil knelt beside me, helping to hold the poultice in place. I heard fabric tearing and looked up to see him using his pocket knife to cut up a length of fabric from his pants, his jaw hard as he worked.

We worked in silence, the tension between us easing slightly. When I finally finished, I leaned back, exhaustion washing over me. Tears still clung to my lashes, but I brushed them away. Neil leaned forward and wrapped the makeshift bandage around the horse’s leg, securing it tightly.

But her screaming had hardly ceased. If anything, it had only gotten worse; and her eyes were glassy now, glazed over from the blood loss.

“She’s still in pain,” Neil observed softly.

“I know,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

I looked at him, searching his eyes. It was hard to tell if he was apologizing for his behavior or for the likelihood that the horse wouldn’t make it. Maybe both.

“I just… I can’t stand the thought of killing anything,” I admitted hoarsely. “Maybe death isn’t as macabre and fascinating as I thought.”

He nodded slowly. “I understand the feeling. More than you think.”

We sat there for a few moments, the forest around us eerily quiet. The horse let out a weak whinny, her eyes closing.

Neil stood up, retrieving his sword once more. “It might be time.”

A lump formed in my throat. “No…”

“I promise it will be quick and painless,” he said. When his blue eyes met mine, they were more sympathetic than I expected.

I swallowed hard, knowing deep down that he might be right. And that he would definitely keep her from suffering, just as he had when he had executed that man in the woods.

“Okay,” I whispered, my voice breaking.

Gently, I lifted the horse’s head into my lap, stroking her velvety muzzle. “Thank you for everything,” I said softly. A single tear escaped, sliding down my cheek and landing on the wound.

Neil raised his sword, preparing to deliver the final blow.

But before he could, the horse stirred. Her ears perked up, and she nickered softly, opening her eyes.

“Wait,” I breathed, holding up a hand to stop him.

Neil paused, lowering his sword slightly. “What is it?”

The horse began to shift, attempting to stand. We both watched in astonishment as she slowly rose to her feet.

“The wound…” Neil started.

With my breath caught in my throat, I reached forward and tugged the bandage aside. My eyes widened as I saw it.

The gash on her knee was gone, the skin smooth and unbroken.

The wound had healed. Completely.