Chapter 70

Asher had heard my apparition crying. Now he wanted an explanation. I didn’t blame him for wanting the truth, but I still couldn’t tell him.

“I’m sorry, Asher,” I started. “But…”

He held up both hands stopping me. “I don’t want to hear you lie to me again, so just… don’t.”

He was upset with me, and I hated it. But the reasons I had to keep my secrets were too plentiful, too serious. Once more, I prayed that he would understand when he eventually learned the truth.

“Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. “Keep your secrets for now. My first priority is getting you out of here.”

Relieved, I placed my hand in his and let him led me back to the stairwell and down to the lobby.

I was absolutely exhausted, moving like a zombie. Without Asher to guide me, I likely would have walked straight into several walls, and then the door, which he held open for me.

Ever watchful, he tracked my every step and kept me safe. Though concern flashed in his blue gaze.

I wished I could reassure him, but I was just too tired. And with Asher so close, I could let myself go a little. I could turn off my brain and trust him to get me home safe and sound.

Yet when I heard a familiar, unwelcome voice call my name, my adrenaline forced my brain to focus again.

“Cynthia!” Joseph leaned against the outside wall of Brent’s dorm. When I glanced over, he kicked off and approached us.

Asher tugged me behind him, blocking Joseph’s view of me.

“What do you want?” Asher growled, immediately on guard.

Joseph scoffed at him. “Muzzle your guard dog, Cynthia. I’m only here to give you some friendly advice.”

I still hadn’t parsed through my many complicated feelings regarding Joseph. I didn’t trust him. I didn’t particularly like him. But he was my baby’s father.

That made things complicated.

Asher growled louder. I touched his shoulder, hoping to comfort him before his wolf pushed forward too far.

Joseph really lacked in self-preservation skills around Asher’s angry wolf. He seemed to enjoy provoking him.

“This is a warning, Cynthia,” Joseph continued, ignoring Asher entirely. At least he stopped trying to approach us, which calmed Asher’s wolf somewhat. “I know you are snooping around Brent.”

He did, only because he had spied on me through the necklace that was supposed to be a gift to celebrate our new start.

“You’d better leave well enough alone,” Joseph said. “Or you’ll join your friend Aimee at the bottom of the Academy’s food chain.”

“No one asked for your advice,” I said, from behind Asher’s shoulder.

“I’m looking out for you. Maybe you can’t help yourself from being Asher’s whore –”

“Watch it,” Asher snapped.

“But at least he’s the son of an Alpha. Have some self-respect. Keep acting like this, and you’ll spend all your time down in the mud with the other pigs.” Joseph spoke boldly, barely pausing at Asher’s interruption.

Asher, body tense as a bowstring, took a threatening step forward. “Call her a whore one more time. Call her a pig.” His voice was low and dangerous, rough from his barely constrained wolf.

“Asher,” I said. Joseph wasn’t worth his anger. Not when he was only calling me names. “I’ve been called worse. I can handle him.”

That had apparently been the wrong thing to say, because his anger flashed into full-on fury. He stepped forward again.

“Say it!” Asher roared. “Give me a reason to turn you into pavement.”

Asher going feral like this should be enough to frighten anyone, Joseph included. In the past, Joseph’s hands had shaken and he’d stumbled back. And even in moments where he’d acted braver, the truth of his fear widened his eyes.

Now, however, his body posture was relaxed. He smiled, like a kid who’d gotten everything he ever wanted.

“You want to try to clobber me? Then do it for real,” Joseph said. “Consider this a formal challenge, Asher.”

I gasped in surprise. A formal challenge was something the Academy took seriously. They would fight fairly, before witnesses, with the rules of the match being upheld by overseers and referees.

In a fair fight against Asher, Joseph had no chance of winning. Why, then, did he appear so confident?

“What are the terms?” Asher asked through clenched teeth.

Wait. Asher couldn’t actually be considering this!

“The loser has to agree to stay out of Cynthia’s life,” Joseph said.

“Hold on,” I said, coming to Asher’s side. Surely I was the one who got to decide who never to see again.

“Agreed,” Asher confirmed, not so much as glancing at me.

Anger shot through me. “Asher!” He hadn’t even considered my opinion.

“Great. I’ll schedule it and send you the details.” Joseph was ignoring me too.

“Fine,” Asher agreed.

I stewed in my anger as the two shook hands.

Then Joseph winked at me. “See you soon, Cyn.”

Asher’s hands formed fists. He began to retract one, readying a punch. Quickly I stepped in the way, placing my palm on Asher’s chest.

If he threw that punch now, after a challenge had been accepted, he would be held in contempt of the Academy’s rules. Annoyed as I was at him, I wasn’t about to let him get himself into trouble over Joseph.

My touch eased him somewhat and he lowered his fist down to his side.

Joseph finally walked away, laughing as he went. When his cackling could no longer be heard, I frowned at Asher.

“How could you do that?”

Asher took several deep breaths, calming himself before he spoke.

“This is the only way to keep Joseph away from you for good. Short of killing him.”

Was that a joke? “Asher –”

“I won’t lose, Cynthia. Not to him.”

“Forget winning and losing!” I shouted, my anger metastasizing. I pulled my hand away from him, crossing my arms instead. “This is my life. You can’t just force Joseph out of it because he’s mean sometimes.”

“’Meansometimes?’” Asher’s voice was dangerously measured. “Have you forgotten everything that snake has done to you? He spied on you. He forced a kiss on you. He calls you those vile names and treats you like dirt.”

I hadn’t forgotten, but the reminders wilted some of my righteous anger. Even so, my point remained. “You can’t kick him out of my life Asher. You know why.”

I couldn’t mention the baby like this, in public. Even though no one seemed to be around, the incident with the necklace had instilled extra caution in me.

Asher softened too. Slightly. Just enough to sound more like a disapproving friend than an older brother with a lecture.

“He’s not good for you, Cynthia. He doesn’t treat you right, and he never will. Even after…” He waved to my stomach but didn’t say it aloud. “You can’t expect things to be different.”

“This isn’t your decision to make, Asher. If he stays away, he’ll definitely never change. And if he never changes, than my dream of being a family…”

I couldn’t voice the words, that my dream might be impossible. To give it up felt like giving up a part of myself – the part that held hope for a happy future.

This hope was already in pieces, after all the things Joseph had done. It was so fragile now. The slightest pressure could destroy it forever.

“Cyn,” Asher said, and I melted at the nickname. Joseph had tried to tarnish it in mockery but Asher so easily made it right again, just by saying it aloud.

I knew he had only said it to soften the blow that was to come. I could see the pity in his eyes.

I braced myself, anticipating hurt.

“Joseph will never give you the life you want. He won’t change. If you stay with him, you will live in hell for the rest of your life.”

The words still hurt, cutting deeply into my heart. I feared he was right.

But even so, Joseph was my baby’s father. I couldn’t just cut him out of my life even if I wanted to.

“You shouldn’t have taken this challenge,” I said, tears threatening.

“Cynthia,” his voice had changed, now stricken with disbelief. “Do you… want me to lose?”

Asher and Joseph. The man I secretly, selfishly adored and the one my baby needed.

To keep one and lose the other forever.

How could I ever choose?