Chapter 58

Shouldn’t Cynthia be in trouble for making us late?

I nervously hooked my fingers together in my lap. Elena was right. I had made everyone late by oversleeping. Even if the party hadn’t been my idea, my inability to wake up on time had been due to my own negligence.

I deserved to be punished.

“Have her do laps,” said another cheerleader.

“At least get her to practice her splits,” said another. “She’s the reason we missed out on the gold.”

Coach stood and faced the rest of the bus. “Ladies, I assure you that Cynthia will be disciplined.”

He looked at me, and I squared my shoulders, ready for anything.

“Cynthia,” he said. “You’ll stay after every practice this week to clean up and help me get some paperwork in order.”

For a moment, no one said anything. Then everyone started talking at once.

“What kind of punishment is that?”

“Where are the laps?”

“She cost us the gold and he wants her to do paperwork?”

Coach ignored them and returned to his seat.

Behind me, someone hissed, “Teacher’s pet.”

“Why does she always get special treatment?”

I glanced back, trying to see who was talking about me like that, but almost all the girls were glaring at me.

Except Nicole, who stared out the window.

And Elena, who was smirking at me instead.

Immediately, I faced the front of the bus again, though fear and worry continued prickling my skin. At the start of this trip, I had hoped to convince the rest of the squad to like me. Now, I’d made everything worse.

Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine myself anywhere else, but every other place, imagined or otherwise, felt impossibly far away.

What I would have given to be in that hotel closet with Asher again, or in his room, curled up in his arms.

Maybe I should have taken him up on his offer to drive me.

But it was too late now.

When the bus pulled into the parking lot at the Academy, I was one of the first ones off. I wanted to go back to my room and take a warm shower, then rest my weary body and mind under my blankets for a while. Maybe binge some television shows.

Yet as I stepped off the bus, Joseph was standing there waiting for me, another bouquet of red roses in his hands, this one twice as big as the ones before.

“Cynthia!” he called for me, and with the other cheerleaders exiting behind me, watching me curiously, I had little choice but to walk up and talk to him.

I hadn’t forgotten that night at the carnival, when I had agreed to kiss him on the cheek and he turned at the last minute to steal a kiss on my mouth instead.

But I pushed it to the back of my mind, for the good of my baby.

“Hello, Joseph,” I said as I approached. He tried to pass me the bouquet, but when he saw me struggling with my suitcase, he held onto the vase instead.

“I couldn’t wait to talk to you,” he said. “To apologize.”

“Joseph…” I didn’t know where to begin. I was so tired from the competition and everything that happened after. I really didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with him in that moment.

But he was insistent. “I’m sorry for pushing you into kissing me,” he said. He planted both feet. “I’m not leaving until I convince you to forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” one of the cheerleaders said as she walked by. “When all you did was kiss?”

“I didn’t know you were dating Joseph, Cynthia,” said another. “Kind of hypocritical to deny Joseph while you were in the closet with Asher.”

My stomach dropped.

Joseph’s face immediately tightened into a snarl. “What? Asher was there?”

“We played Seven Minutes in Heaven,” Elena said, smiling sweetly. “Asher’s bottle landed on Cynthia.” She leaned closer to Joseph, not caring that he looked like a grenade without the pin, about to explode. “You should have heard the noises they made…”

Then Elena continued walking. Behind Joseph, she turned back to wink at me.

“I demand you explain yourself,” Joseph said to me through clenched teeth.

A familiar fear quaked through me, the one that always seemed to appear when Joseph reached this level of anger.

Asher wasn’t here to save me this time. And the other cheerleaders seemed to be enjoying the show.

Still, I gathered my courage and strength. I knew I was in the right this time. I did not owe him an apology for this.

“You and I had agreed on only one date,” I told him. “We never said we were exclusive.”

A dangerous light flared in Joseph’s eyes. I realized too late that I should not have provoked him.

He threw the flowers down onto the pavement in the space between us. The glass vase shattered. The roses fanned out. He stomped on them.

“You whore!” he shouted. “You lead me on, and for what? For Asher? How many times do I have to tell you that he doesn’t want you?!”

I stumbled back from the force of his anger.

But he only stepped forward, keeping the same distance. He trampled more flowers under his feet. The wind picked up some petals and sent them flying.

“I’m a good man, Cynthia. And you are hurting me… throwing me away for no reason.” He lowered his voice down to a normal level, but the fury was still sharp in his words. “You think Asher wants you for real? You are used goods.”

“T-That’s not fair.” My voice shook.

“He could have any girl in the school. Why would he waste his time with you?”

“Stop.”

Joseph took me by the shoulders, roughly. “Listen to me. Listen to reason! No one wants you for real, but me. Stop pushing me away and accept that.”

“Hey!” called Coach, as he exited the bus. When he walked toward us, Joseph reluctantly released me and stepped back. “I could hear shouting from inside. What’s going on here?”

Coach looked at me, waiting for an explanation.

Joseph watched me too, disgust radiating off of him in waves.

“You okay?” Coach asked me softer, when I didn’t immediately reply.

“I can handle this, Coach,” I said, hating how my voice wavered. “Joseph is a friend.”

“A friend, huh?” Coach said, sending a sharp glance Joseph’s way.

Joseph lifted his chin, defiant under the scrutiny.

“You better run along, son,” Coach said. “If you want to talk to Cynthia, you can do it later, when she’s feeling better.”

“You sick?” Joseph asked me.

Now that Coach mentioned it, I did feel a bit wobbly on my feet.

“Just tired.”

Finally, Joseph seemed to calm. “Fine. But we will talk later.”

Then Joseph stormed away.

Asher would have walked me home, no matter how mad he was with me.

But I supposed this was for the best. I wouldn’t trust Joseph to just leave me at my door even if he’d said he’d be a gentleman.

My stomach curdled.

Joseph had been right about one thing, in his angry diatribe. Asher wouldn’t want me. Maybe he touched me out of pity in that closet.

He’d only been trying to help me save face, since the girls were expecting noises.

In the light of day, anywhere outside of that closet, Asher would never touch me for real.

It was time I just accepted that.

And maybe that meant accepting Joseph.