Chapter 52

Who is Lilith?

I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. Closed it.

Did I just mention Lilith to Asher? I replayed the conversation in my head.

Oh, no. I had.

This exhaustion must have been affecting me more than I thought. I was getting too careless. I trusted Asher so I let my guard down.

“Um,” I said eloquently. I tried again, “Lilith is…”

Would it be so bad to tell the truth? Lilith herself was remaining strangely quiet on the matter.

So I tried asking her directly, speaking in my mind, “I messed up. What should I do, Lilith?”

“If you tell him, you must be sure,” Lilith said. “You must consider all consequences.”

Lilith brought forth some images into my mind of a figure with my shape and form strapped to a doctor’s table, being experimented upon.

“You are special,” Lilith said. “You called me forth earlier than I would have otherwise appeared. If that truth is discovered, people would want to know why. They will learn about your pregnancy, and share this anomaly.”

Fear rose in my throat, not just because of the potential experiments, but also because of the threat of exposure. What if I made the news?

Everyone would know.

Any chance I would have had at staying in the Academy would evaporate.

“Asher would protect me,” I reasoned.

Lilith wasn’t as sure. “His protection means he himself might send you to the doctors for testing. His intentions need not be impure to be a threat.”

She was right. Asher would worry if he knew my wolf came early. He’d likely take me to the hospital on the spot to make sure my wolf wasn’t harming my younger body.

No, he couldn’t find out this way. It would only worry him and endanger me.

I had to continue to keep this secret until I could find a more proper way to explain Lilith’s appearance.

“Cynthia?” Asher asked through the phone, and I realized I had been quiet for too long.

“Sorry, I was distracted there for a minute. Just got a text,” I said. I felt guilty for lying but if he knew I was just trying to protect myself, surely he would understand?

I gathered my strength and said, “Lilith is… one of the trainers… for the cheerleaders.”

“I don’t remember anyone with that name when I volunteered during warrior training,” Asher said, unconvinced.

“She’s new! Just started.”

“And she knows your secret, too?”

“Um, yes. She’s looking out for me. Like Coach.”

Asher’s silences always sat different than my own. His were pointed, like he was saying something by not saying anything.

In this silence, I practically heard him shout, I don’t believe you.

So I pulled out my trump card. “You trust me, right?”

His answer came slowly, “I do.”

“Then trust me now.”

I hated myself for lying. Worse, for doubling down on the lie.

I prayed he would forgive me when he inevitably learned the truth. He had to understand. He just had to.

“Okay,” he said, and I exhaled in relief.

At least for now, the secret of my wolf was safe.

In the hallway outside the locker room, Coach had hung the roommate assignments for the upcoming trip to the cheerleading competition. The competition was in a neighboring town and lasted for two days, so the Academy was funding a hotel for us, as well as a charter bus to transport us.

The sign listed girls two to a room. I looked down the sheet for my name, and found it at the very end, in a room all by myself.

The paper had only been posted for two minutes before the girls started to revolt.

“Coach, why do we have to share, but Cynthia gets her own room?”

“It isn’t fair!”

“How was this list decided? It’s not alphabetical.”

“Girls, girls.” Coach held up his hands, trying to calm the upset crowd forming around him. “There are an odd number of you, so someone had to be in a room alone.”

“Why her, though?”

“Why not me?”

“Or me!”

“I drew names out of a hat,” Coach explained. “It was entirely randomized.”

That stifled the girls’ complaints, but didn’t ease their frowning faces.

“Don’t take it to heart,” Coach said, trying once more. His smile was soft, his eyes understanding. “You’ll only be sleeping there. The days will be spent at the competition. Remember to stay focused on our goals.”

Some of the girls grumbled a little, but a few others finally seemed satisfied.

“I’m very proud of everyone,” Coach continued. “You are all putting in a great deal of effort and it’s going to pay off. Don’t get caught up on the little things. Just focus on bringing home the gold.”

With that, he retreated into his office. He left his office door open, making himself available for personal complaints. He always did that, saying he wanted the girls to be able to come to him with their problems.

Rarely did anyone actually take him up on it.

“Regardless of what Coach said,” whispered a girl on my right. She was speaking to another girl but was loud enough for me to hear. “I think Cynthia is his favorite.”

“Oh, for sure,” said the first. Their voices were getting louder. “I wonder what she does to get that special treatment.”

“Hey,” said Nicole, from my other side. “Back off. Cynthia isn’t like that.”

The other girls turned on her. “Did she pull the wool over your eyes, too?”

Nicole squared her shoulders, looking like she was about to start an actual fistfight.

“Nicole, it’s okay,” I said, not wanting her to get involved. I was pleased that she was such a good friend that she would want to defend my honor, but it wasn’t worth her getting in trouble or hurt.

“Now, ladies,” Elena said, claiming the attention of all the cheerleaders. She’d been quiet until now, leaning up against the wall. She kicked off it and approached us.

My whole body tensed. Elena commanded attention, she was great at swaying the opinions of others at her whim.

And she hated me.

Nervous, I hoped she wouldn’t make the situation worse.

Elena winked at me, then spoke to the others. “Let’s not allow jealousy to make us say irrational things. Someone has to be the odd one out, and this time, it’s Cynthia.”

She placed her hand on the arm of my harshest critic. “Don’t pretend you wouldn’t gloat if you had drawn the single room.”

The girl slunk backwards under the scrutiny.

I couldn’t believe it. Was Elena… defending me?

Yet just as I thought it, she swiveled on her heel to face me again. “Besides, girls. A boon for one is a boon for all, on the cheerleading squad.”

A sinking feeling formed in my stomach. Of course she wouldn’t defend me without wanting something in return. I waited for the other shoe to drop.

“Cynthia, since you are new this year, you might not know the rules.”

Behind Elena, the other girls snickered.

I wished I could run away, but I wouldn’t be a coward. I could handle whatever Elena was about to swing my way.

“On trips away, one hotel room is selected as the party room, where we unwind and have some late night fun,” she said. “Since you are in the room alone, the honor this time falls onto you.”