Chapter 31

I stared at Joseph, mouth agape in my disbelief. He wanted me… to be his girlfriend?

“Give me the chance to do things right this time.” Joseph offered a boyish smile. “Remember how much fun we had together? It could be like that all the time.”

We’d had fun, sure. Back then, I had thought I was in love with him. Now, I’m not sure it was more than infatuation.

Yet… Didn’t our baby deserve a chance at a real family? If Joseph was telling the truth, maybe we could rekindle what we had and build a loving home for the sake of our child.

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever love him, but I also wasn’t sure I even knew what love was.

When I closed my eyes to imagine a happy family, it was Asher I saw at my side.

Foolish.

“I don’t know,” I said to Joseph.

“You need time. I get it.” He placed his hand on his heart. “I’m nothing if not a patient man.”

When we had been together in the past, all of our secret rendezvous had been on his terms, his schedule. When I had asked to compromise, he had threatened never to see me again.

He was trying to be better now.

Maybe, in time, as he suggested, I could come to believe in him like he wanted. Maybe enough to consent to being his girlfriend.

Joseph reached for my hand. On instinct, I swiveled, pulling it out of his reach.

I hadn’t meant to do that. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” His smile grew tight. “We have a history. I know it’s not easy to forget everything that I did. I’ll give you time to decide.”

Then he left me standing there, and it was a long time before I could move forward again.

The week was winding down for warrior training. Therefore, the lessons were becoming more advanced.

We’d already learned how to pin and hold someone. Now, we were learning how to escape those same holds.

As with every training before, Asher chose me to be his partner. The others had stopped commenting on his preference, though they still shot me jealous glares now and then.

Asher was quieter than normal today. I wasn’t totally surprised. Just, disappointed.

We hadn’t seen each other since that night in my dorm room, when I had asked him to stay with me until I fell asleep and he did.

I had felt at the time that we had grown closer together, but now I felt him pulling away from me again. Like he was rebuilding some kind of wall between us.

“Asher,” I tried, when we first started the training. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

I frowned, but focused on the instruction. Asher gave me adequate direction, but his words were curt, like he was only saying what was necessary.

Most of his live demonstrations were weak, however. He was supposed to hold me so I could escape, but he barely touched me.

“If you don’t do it properly, I’ll never learn,” I said, quietly so the others wouldn’t hear.

He wouldn’t look at me.

“Shouldn’t I know what to do? In case I get in trouble?” I appealed to his protective instincts, hoping that might break his shell.

It did, in a way. Instead of an overly-neutral expression, he frowned.

“Fine. Get on the ground, then.”

I did, resting on my back. He gently nudged open my legs with his foot and knelt between them. Holding my wrists he pinned my hands above my head.

Even this close, he watched my hands, not my face.

I wanted him to look at me.

“What would you do to escape this position?” he asked.

I knew what I should do.

But I didn’t want to escape his hold. I wanted him to look at me, and talk to me. How could he push me away after everything? And why?

I was going to find out.

So instead of breaking his hold, I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked his body closer to mine. He could escape if he tried, or if he asked, but I knew he wouldn’t do either.

He might hurt me if he pushed me too hard, and since he wasn’t talking to me, his asking didn’t seem all that likely.

I had him right where I wanted him.

“There,” I said. “Now I have got you.”

“Cynthia,” he said, low. “What are you doing? This is not how you break this hold.”

A sense of victory flashed through me. Finally, he would talk to me!

“Maybe I want to hold you for a minute,” I said. “So you’ll tell me what is going on with you.”

He grit his teeth.

“Is this about that night?” I asked him. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

“Cynthia,” he said again, so like a growl this time. Shivers ran up my spine.

On reflex, my hips moved on their own, lifting, rolling up into his.

We both froze.

He made a strangled noise. His eyes snapped to mine.

I’d expected a pair of twin icebergs staring back at me, cold and distant. What I saw was a burning fire that set my skin ablaze.

I glanced down, between the limited space separating our bodies, to where our thighs pressed together. A bulge grew in his pants. I felt it twitch between my legs.

I lifted my gaze back to his. His eyes had darkened further, primal with their hunger.

He tightened his grip on my wrists – not enough to hurt, but enough for me to feel it.

The rest of the world fell away. I could only see his face. I could only feel his body where it shoved so deliciously against mine.

I moved again, up into him, to see what would happen.

At once, he dropped down onto me, holding me still with the weight of his body.

Any control I’d thought I had was gone. His strength was all-encompassing. His touch was everywhere.

I couldn’t even breathe for want of him.

“Asher,” I whimpered.

His chest pressed against mine. His lips touched my ear.

“Cynthia. How would you escape this hold?” His voice was so rough, I barely recognized him.

I leaned into him, touching my cheek to his. He was so warm – so hot.

“I wouldn’t,” I whispered in reply. I didn’t recognize my own voice either. I sounded wrecked.

He brushed his lips against the side of my neck. I inhaled sharply.

I wanted him to suck on my neck until he made a mark, to tell everyone I was his. I wanted him to rip off my shirt and take my breasts in his hands. I wanted him to cut through my pants and plunge his way into me.

I wanted him to consume me, body and soul, just like this. He could take his fill of me until I was begging, and then push me over the edge until I couldn’t even remember my own name. Only his.

When he leaned up, hovering over me, a whisper of promise held fast in his eyes.

If I asked him to fuck me now, I wasn’t sure he’d say no. The words were on the tip of my tongue.

“Break this hold, Cynthia.”

I licked my lips. He tracked the movement.

“Make me,” I said.

He did growl now, deep from the back of his throat.

I held my breath.

Gaze hot on my mouth, he leaned down again.