Chapter 30

Follow your heart, Nicole had told me once.

I remembered those words now, watching Asher trapped in his own intense anger.

“Cynthia?” Joseph asked. He was waiting for his answer.

My heart wanted to stay with Asher. How could I leave him alone as he was?

Whatever Joseph wanted to talk about could wait.

“I’m sorry, Joseph,” I said, giving him only a passing glance. “We can talk some other time.”

Softer, to Asher, I said, “Come to my room.”

Jaw clenched, he nodded.

Joseph snorted in disgust. “Whatever.”

I didn’t know if he stormed away. My eyes were locked on Asher and the slow uncurling of tension from his arms and shoulders.

I led Asher toward my room and closed the door behind us. I went to turn the light on, but he stopped me.

The moon was bright outside my window. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could make out the tight, stressed lines of his face and the deep set of his frown.

I approached him as one would a cornered animal.

“How can I help you?” Even my softest voice felt too loud in the quiet room.

He closed his eyes. “My wolf is too near the surface. I’m losing control.”

“Asher.”

“Stay,” he said. When I froze in place, he licked his lips and amended, “Closer to me.”

I inched closer until there was only a mere few inches between us. He towered over me, I had to look up to see his face.

“Like this?” I asked.

He nodded.

We stood silent for a moment. His fingers twitched.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I need to protect you,” he said.

“You are.”

His eyes opened again, locking onto mine. As I spoke, some of the ravenous rage within them seemed to dim.

“I’m here. I’m safe.” I paused. “You’ve kept me safe.”

“I always will,” he said.

Because I’m Dylan’s sister. I swallowed down the thought. Asher needed me to help him regain control. This was no time for my own bitterness.

Slowly, I lifted my hand into the narrow space between us. He watched as I stretched out my fingers and placed my palm flat on his chest, over his heart.

His heart was violent, pounding against my skin.

“We’re both safe,” I said.

He exhaled, long and slow. “Cynthia.”

“I’m here.”

“Cyn,” he said, voice a breath so soft, if a pin had dropped in the same instant, I might have missed what he said.

Fortunately, I was hyper focused all on him, and I heard the nickname.

Warmth flooded through me.

“Say it again,” I said. When I didn’t think he would, I pleaded, “Asher.”

“Cyn,” he said.

He blinked, and all the anger disappeared from his eyes. In its place was a different kind of fire.

His hot, hungry gaze trailed down the length of my body. He leered openly at my chest. My shirt wasn’t see-through this time, but he knew what I looked like bare. He’d lied about forgetting.

I stood straighter, purposefully pushing forward my breasts.

He licked his lips and my throat went dry.

Following his lead, I let my own gaze drop, taking in the toned torso under his tight t-shirt. My hand followed my eyes further down, pressing against his rock hard abdomen.

In a flash, I realized what I was doing and moved to pull my hand away.

He snatched it and placed it right back where it was. Did he want me to feel him? Did he want…me?

I looked up at his eyes again and saw the naked desire there.

So he did want me after all. Satisfaction coursed through me. I knew it.

But questions instantly followed.

If he wanted me, why didn’t he act on it?

At once, I remembered his answer to my question, Why haven’t you made the moves on me?

You’re my best friend’s sister.

It had hurt then. It still hurt now.

I wouldn’t ask him again. I wouldn’t even bring attention to it.

I would accept this closeness. I would take whatever I could get.

It would have to be enough.

“Asher,” I said, a tiny moan. I willed him to touch me too.

But my voice had the opposite effect.

His eyes went wide a moment, then he stepped back from me. I watched, heartsore, as his steely control slipped back into place.

He released my hand, and I returned it to my side.

“Thank you,” he said, voice stronger than it had been. “I’m feeling better now.”

“Good. That’s good,” I said lamely. “I’m glad.”

He crossed the room and clicked on the ceiling light.

I closed my eyes against it, hating that the moment was over now.

“I should go,” he said at the door. He hadn’t opened it yet.

“Asher?” I asked.

He paused, waiting.

I gathered my courage. “If I asked you to stay…”

“I won’t touch you,” he said at once.

“I wasn’t asking for that,” I said.

Truth was he had worried me to death tonight. I know he said he was better, but I didn’t know if I fully believed it. I didn’t want him to leave, afraid he would run into Joseph or Elena or…

I didn’t know what worried me more. That Joseph might trigger Asher’s wolf again. Or that Elena or another woman might offer him comfort in a way he wouldn’t resist.

“Stay,” I said, same as he had done before. “For a little while longer. Until I fall asleep.”

I didn’t want to wake from this dream yet.

He hesitated so long, I almost regretted asking. But then he said, “Okay.”

We didn’t say much as I readied for bed. He faced the wall when I changed into my pajamas, and stayed put when I went to the bathroom down the hall to brush my teeth.

He sat at my desk when I went under my blankets.

“I can turn off the light,” he said, when I settled.

“Not yet,” I replied. I wanted to watch him as long as I could.

His gaze was steady on me, and calm like a summer sky. I felt safe there, lost in their depths.

When I finally closed my eyes, he the last thing I saw. An overwhelming sense of calm dragged me into deep slumber.

When I opened my eyes again, it was morning, and Asher was gone.

As I walked to class, Joseph found me again. He cornered me in the hallway, insisting, “Now, can we talk?”

I felt bad for pushing him away the night before. I didn’t regret it, exactly. Asher had needed me. But Joseph had said he wanted to talk about something important. I should have given that more consideration.

“I’m listening,” I said.

“I have no right to be upset about you and Asher,” he said, a poor beginning.

I frowned at him.

He held up his hands in defense. “I’m not upset, like I said. But I want to be.”

“Joseph.” I didn’t have time for this. I had to get to class. When he had said it was important, I’d thought he’d meant about the baby.

Besides, nothing even happened with Asher. We had only looked at each other.

“Hear me out, Cynthia,” he said. “I want the right to be upset. I know I messed up before, but I’ll do better.”

He reached for my hand, and I was so surprised, that I let him grab it.

“I don’t want to hide,” he said. “I want everyone to know your mine.”

I blinked. What?

“Cynthia. Will you be my girlfriend? For real, this time?”