Chapter 242

I was riding the high of my acceptance. I felt great about myself and the universe. I finally had achieved my goals. I could keep my baby and my education.

The world was finally starting to make sense again.

Except now, Asher’s disappearances were increasing.

It had started innocently enough, Chase would come over and Asher would slip out. But now, it seemed like Chase came over almost every night, and Asher would stay out until morning.

Asher was gone so often, Chase even started leaving an inflatable mattress set up in the corner of the room.

I didn’t know what to think. When Asher was around, he seemed normal enough. He would hold me or kiss my cheek. Though he slept a lot, since presumably he had been up all night.

But I couldn’t help feeling insecure about us. We’d only just taken our relationship to the next level, and now if felt like he was backing off from it. Hadn’t we shared a special connection?

A few days before, I’d almost confessed my love. Now, I was glad I hadn’t. A rift was growing between us, and I felt the distance.

I was so confused.

Chase had taken to reading books while we waited, especially in the mornings. It wasn’t that I didn’t like spending time with Chase, but he wasn’t the brother I wanted to spend every moment with. We’d sort of run out of things to say to each other.

Chase flipped a page in his book. He was stretched out across his air mattress, with his back upright against the wall. “I can feel you stressing from here. Asher insisted that is bad for you.”

“It is.” I sat on the edge of the bed, with my legs dangling over the side. My hands were on my knees, where I scrunched my pajamas in my fists. “Do you know why he goes out so often?”

“He doesn’t tell me much more than he’ll owe me. I wouldn’t worry though. He can take care of himself.”

I was worried about Asher’s safety, certainly. Joseph was still out there somewhere, waiting and hiding and threatening us. Every moment Asher was out there was a moment Joseph could find him and catch him off guard.

But with the distance between our hearts growing every wider, I hated that I now questioned his fidelity. Why else does a man go out all night, if not to spend those dark hours in the arms of another woman?

I didn’t want to think that about him. When he came home, he didn’t smell like other women, and there weren’t any errant lipstick marks on his cheek or anything like that.

But what else could I think?

Asher walked in not long after, and Chase said his goodbyes and left.

Asher moved toward where I was on the bed, but I quickly stood and moved to the other side of the room instead.

“Cyn?”

Now that these thoughts were in my mind, I couldn’t easily vanquish them. It hurt to even look at him.

He came to stand behind me, but I refused to turn around.

“Cyn, what’s wrong?”

“You’re tired,” I said. “You should get some sleep.”

“That’s not an answer.”

I wrapped my arms around my waist. “It’s the only one I’m ready to give.”

Asher stilled. A moment of silence fell around us. Then, he gently raised his hands and placed them on my shoulders. He stepped closer, lining his chest against my back. He kissed the shell of my ear.

“Talk to me,” he whispered.

I wanted to. When he was like this, everything felt easy. I could open my mouth and share my fears, and he would deny them. Everything would be fine – until the next time he left all night.

“Where were you?” I asked, to give him a chance at honesty. If he could ease my discomfort on his own, I would feel so much better.

Instead, he backed away. “I was just out. That’s all.”

A lie. And not even a very good one.

I kept my back to him. Eventually, he did return to the bed and fell asleep.

I looked out the window for a while, and wondered how we got here.

That afternoon, Asher escorted me to one of my classes. Aimee met me near the door. She glanced between Asher and me, a confused look crumpling her face.

“I’ll see you after,” Asher said, then turned and left. No kiss goodbye, no hand squeeze. Nothing.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Aimee spoke up. “What happened?”

“I told you, he keeps disappearing at night,” I said. I walked further into the room. Aimee kept pace with me. When I reached my desk, she quickly took the one beside me.

“Yeah, but –”

“I think he might he have found someone else.”

Aimee blinked. “Someone else what?”

I suspected she was being purposefully obtuse, but for the sake of argument, I said it plain. “I think he’s seeing another woman.”

Aimee continued to stare at me. “…What?”

“Aimee, come on.”

Aimee shook her head. “I’m sorry, Cynthia, but there is no way that is true.”

“He’s going somewhere. He’s staying out all night.”

“He is dedicated to you. You know that.”

“I thought I did. But now I don’t know what to think.”

“There has to be a logical explanation. Have you asked him?” Aimee asked.

“I have, but he never gives me a straight answer.”

Aimee sat back in her seat. That seemed to puzzle her as much as it did me.

“If he has an innocent reason, why can’t he just tell me what it is?” I said. “Why does he let me wonder? If he wasn’t seeing another woman, wouldn’t he just say so?”

“It might not be that easy. Maybe he doesn’t know you are thinking of that.”

I shook my head. “What else would I think? I know, Asher and I have really bonded the last few weeks. But what if we got to close and he got scared? What if he sees a future in me and decides he better have a few last hurrahs before settling down?”

“There’s no way he would do that to you,” Aimee said. “I don’t know what his reason is, but I can’t imagine a universe where Asher, who is clearly head over heels for you, would purposefully hurt you like that.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

Aimee frowned. “I mean… there is one option, though I insist if you do it, you don’t go alone.”

I was desperate, ready to do anything to learn the truth. “Tell me.”

“Well, you can feel him through your bond right? If you concentrate, you could follow him. The next time he leaves, call me. Nicole and I will come over and we will find out the truth.”

I didn’t like the idea of not trusting Asher, but I was truly at wit’s end. If he wouldn’t tell me the truth himself, then I had to rely on more drastic measures.

“But what about Chase? Asher always calls him over to protect me.”

Aimee shrugged, like that was nothing to worry about. “So we make clear we’re doing it whether he wants us to or not. He’ll just have to come with us.”

Despite my mixed feelings, this really seemed like the best course of action to find the truth.

“Okay.” It was decided then.

The next time Asher left, I would be his shadow.

And I would learn the truth.