Chapter 228

When my phone rang, I expected the worst. Another belittlement by my parents. A notice from the investigators. A threat from Joseph.

Asher moved with me, never leaving my side as I approached my purse and removed my phone. It wasn’t a text, but an email. The email was from the Academy, a reminder about her upcoming transfer exam.

I exhaled a long slow breath, simultaneously relieved and embarrassed. I showed Asher my phone.

“Thank God,” he said, but then noticed the way I had my face all scrunched up. “What’s the matter?”

“I feel so silly.”

At once he pulled me into his arms. I melted against him instantly.

“Don’t,” he said. “You’ve suffered several traumas, one right after the next. You need to be kinder to yourself. Give yourself a break.”

“I know,” I said. “But it’s hard. I hate seeing shadows around every corner.”

“Trust me to take care of the shadows. You just concentrate on your studies.”

I could do that. At least, I hoped I could. Asher would do his best to keep me, and himself, safe.

“Okay.”

With Asher’s reassurances, I concentrated on my studies. Yet even those began to worry me, particularly when the night before my exam arrived.

I had done my best, learning as much as I can, but I still felt ill-prepared. I couldn’t possibly have memorized everything, so we had only focused on the most likely subjects. A few things still fell to the wayside.

I should have done more. I should have slept less. Maybe if I pulled an all-night tonight, I could cram all the things that we hadn’t had time for before.

Asher placed his hands on my shoulders. I sat in a chair at our small table. He stood behind me.

He rubbed his thumbs in tiny circles at the base of my neck. I closed my eyes, fighting back a moan at how good it felt. He was so talented with his hands. In more ways than one, I knew well.

“I could see you spiraling,” he said. “There’s no need. You’ve studied hard and you are prepared.”

“But…” It was difficult to argue, with his hands conducting such magic with my tense muscles.

“No buts.” He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. “Come to bed.”

“I should study.”

“It won’t help now,” he said. “You need a good night’s rest, or you won’t do as well tomorrow. Believe in yourself like I believe in you. Come to bed.”

He was very convincing, especially when his soft lips moved to my ear.

“I want to hold you.”

That had me off the chair in an instant.

Smiling, he nodded to the bathroom. “Get ready for bed. I’ll be waiting.” Then he removed his shirt, revealing miles of bare toned skin that made me nearly ignite.

I’d said the next time we were intimate that I wanted him inside of me. Was that what he meant?

I swallowed thickly. God, I wanted him. But the exam was tomorrow. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stop with Asher, once I had him.

I blushed, embarrassed by my own thoughts.

His smile softened. “As much as I want to ravish you, Cyn, I do want you to be able to concentrate tomorrow. If I blow your mind tonight, it might distract you in the morning.”

It would most definitely distract me in the morning.

“I also want you to be able to walk,” he said.

My heart started racing. What was he implying? That he would fuck me so good and rough that I’d be weak in the knees for days?

Yes, please.

“Now I’ll definitely be distracted,” I said.

“Get ready for bed, and I’ll make it up to you.”

I did as he asked. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. When I came back into the room, he was already in bed, top half resting against the headboard.

He had left a pair of pajamas draped across the dresser. I changed into them now, blushing the entire time. I could feel his eyes on me. We’d been naked in front of each other, but this still felt new. I pulled my clothes on quickly.

When I had finished dressing, he called out, “Come over here.”

He pulled back the covers for me and I slipped into the bed beside him. After lowering the blankets again, he pulled me up on top of him. He guided my cheek to his ear.

“Listen,” he said.

I closed my eyes, focusing on his heartbeat. His hands worked their magic again, moving over my back, massaging where he could through my shirt.

It was absolute heaven.

“Asher,” I said, somewhere between a whimper and a moan.

“Go to sleep, Cyn. You have nothing in the whole world to worry about.”

Like this, it was difficult to remember why I would be worried. His heartbeat was so steady, calming. His hands were grounding.

Whatever weight of the world I had been carrying, he had lugged onto his own shoulders instead, leaving me light. Weightless and happy.

Before long, my eyes slipped closed and I fell into a deep sleep.

I awoke to a blaring alarm clock. I was still wrapped up in Asher, which helped my initial state of shock, but quickly, the worries returned.

Today was the day of my transfer exam.

Asher kissed me before I even knew he was awake. “You will do great.”

Together, we rolled out of bed. Asher used the bathroom first while I planned my outfit for the day. I needed something respectable yet comfortable. I would be trapped in a desk all day.

I decided on a button up white shirt with a silk undershirt, and loose-fitting dress pants. I’d finished changing when Asher came out of the bathroom. I rushed in to make myself presentable.

On the hour, a knock sounded on the door.

“It’s just your friends!” Asher called, knowing I would worry. “They said they were coming, remember?”

I had totally forgotten. “Thanks!” I shouted back. He had known I would need reminding. It felt so fulfilling, being seen. Being known. Being cared for anyway.

As I came out of the bathroom, Aimee and Nicole were there to greet me. They each pulled me into a hug, and then we shared one all three of us.

“You’ve got this!” Aimee said.

“You’re going to ace this, no doubt,” Nicole added with a smile.

Asher wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed.

With all three of them cheering me on, I felt like I could achieve anything. Maybe I would survive this exam, after all!

They walked with me across campus to the lecture hall that had been assigned for my exam. I checked in at a table with a waiting faculty member, but we had arrived too early. I had to wait.

While the girls searched for a park bench that could seat us all, Asher stayed by my side. My nerves were once again rearing their ugly heads.

I wished I had gone straight in. It was so easy to lose confidence when all there was to do was wait.

Suddenly, someone came out of the building with big fat tears in their eyes. They covered their face with one hand, while the other held a phone to their ear.

“Mom? I did so badly.” He hiccupped. “It was so much harder than I thought it would be. I honestly think that I failed.”

I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help but hear. Immediately, I wished I hadn’t.

My stomach dropped.

If it was harder than this guy thought, maybe it would be hard for me too.

What would happen if I failed?