Chapter 203

The past evening had been a blur of good feelings. I was so content that I’d dozed without meaning to.

When I woke, my happiness lingered, looking over at Asher.

After so long, he had finally kissed me on the mouth. I still couldn’t believe it. For so long I had thought that he was withholding from kissing me because he didn’t want me to catch romantic feelings.

But then he kissed me himself, after I had asked him if he loved someone.

I was flying high. Asher had kissed me, we had amazing sex, and then I caught him watching me sleep with a soft expression on his face. Not to mention, though he hadn’t said the words, he basically admitted to loving me!

I felt like I was in a dream. I pinched myself, but no, I was still here. Sitting in Asher’s bed while he asked me once again to be my baby’s godfather.

I was running out of reasons to say no.

But I hesitated. I had to know he was sure.

“That’s a lifelong commitment to the baby, Asher.”

He sat up beside me in bed. Reaching out he took one of my hands in his and laced our fingers together.

“I know that, Cyn.”

“You won’t be able to change your mind later.”

“I won’t want to.”

He sounded so confident, like he fully believed he would want this even decades down the line. And maybe he would. Wasn’t our mating bond a lifelong commitment as well – to friendship if nothing else?

Asher was already bound to me, and therefore would be a part of my child’s life.

But if he ever regretted it…

“If you decide to do this,” I said, “There won’t be any going back.”

“Cynthia.” He squeezed my hand, patient. “I understand. I’m not coming at this lightly. I’ve given it the consideration it warrants, and I still want to.”

I had no reason to turn him down, and I didn’t particularly want to. If only this all still didn’t feel like a dream.

Maybe his certainty came from his post-coital bliss.

“Give me a couple of days to think it over,” I said, not wanting to be hasty. If he still wanted to, when we hadn’t had sex, then I’d likely say yes.

Asher nodded. “Take as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

There was a lot going on. I knew he would understand. Even so, his easy acceptance of my wishes warmed me from the inside out.

He laid back down on the bed and held out his arms for me. I quickly folded myself into the space between them.

“Sleep,” he said.

But I wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Kiss me first,” I told him.

At once, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. The sight of him happy put sunsets to shame. He was absolutely stunning.

That he was holding me, kissing me, made me feel like the luckiest woman in the world, even with all the other terrible things going on around me.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, a chaste kiss.

“Again,” I said, when he started to pull back.

Another kiss, deeper. Then another, when I pulled at his arm.

He pushed me onto my back, taking full control. His tongue slipped into my mouth, licking alongside my own, and I knew sleep wouldn’t find me again for some time.

An hour later, after we had both reached bliss once more and Asher had diligently cleaned both of us, we fell into a comfortable cuddle.

In the dark, as my breathing finally slowed and sleep crept into the corners of my mind, I thought I heard him whisper, “I love you...”

But it could have been a dream.

The next day, I returned to studying in the library. Both Aimee and Nicole were there. Today, we were moving onto a new subject: Physiology.

I hated it. I could grasp how the parts of the body connected and how they moved, but retaining the names of things required so much memorization. Only a few of the names were easy or familiar. I struggled to retain it all.

And there didn’t seem any way to study for it besides repetition. Aimee made notecards. Nicole handed me sheet after sheet of images of body parts with the names missing, for me to fill in. I kept getting it wrong.

“This is different than the subjects we’ve studied before,” Aimee said. “It will take time to adjust.”

She was being kind. We all knew I was doing abysmally. By the afternoon, I’d failed three separate practice tests that were supposed to be easy.

I was feeling down but I remained determined. I wouldn’t give up, no matter what.

If repetition was what it took to pass this portion of the exam, then that was what I would do.

Nicole eventually had to leave, though she left me a stack of photocopied worksheets. Aimee stayed longer, and we continued with the notecards until everything felt like one big blur in my brain.

Eventually, Aimee, too, had to leave. “I’m having dinner with my mom. Do you want me to wait for Asher to come?”

All of my friends had organized a schedule to keep me from being alone for too long. The threats Joseph and the investigator possessed were too real.

Honestly, I didn’t want to be alone either, but I didn’t want Aimee to be late from meeting her mom. The librarian was still here and would be for another few hours. She didn’t particularly like me, but she would stop anyone from attempting to harm me.

I was never at ease on my own, but outside of Asher’s room, this was the place I felt most safe.

“I’ll be okay,” I said. “Tell your Mom I said hi.”

Aimee gave me a quick hug and left.

With her gone, I retrieved my phone from my purse and texted Asher, letting him know where I was and that I was now alone.

I didn’t want him to worry, so I hoped I worded it like he didn’t need to rush. I must have done so correctly, because his reply was not urgent.

I’ll be there as soon as I can.

His words made me more relaxed. If anything happened, I would only have to hold out long enough for him to arrive.

With that comfort, my body began reminding me just how tired I was. I yawned and stretched but my eyelids still grew heavy.

I’d been really pushing myself, and I was feeling it now.

No. I couldn’t sleep here. I had to focus. I had to memorize all this terminology. Tibia, fibula, patella…

Another yawn forced its way out of me, and I sunk further into my chair.

Calcaneus, tarsals, metatarsals…

My eyelids dropped. The words began to blur.

Then, everything went dark.

“Cynthia?”

I jolted awake, sitting upright in my chair. Had I fallen asleep? Who? How? What? Where?

I looked around. Oh yeah, I was in the library. My physiology books were still spaced out on the table in front of me.

Asher stood beside my chair, looking down at me with a curious concern. A second Asher was slightly behind him.

I rubbed my eyes, and looked again, but the duplicate was still there.

“Asher…”

Was I losing my mind?

But wait. No. That second man only looked like Asher, but watching closer now, I could see that he was an inch or two shorter, and his muscle was not nearly so defined.

They looked so similar, I blinked a few times, still doubting my vision.

Asher noticed me staring. “This is my older brother. Chase.”

Asher had a brother?!